Namesake
by QuixoticQuest
Summary: Anakin's fears about his name are finally confirmed. This story takes place as an alternative to the events after Serpindal in NJO. M rating for language and violence content. A/T, J/TK, Z/J, and an added theme of angst. Plus some of my own characters. AU
1. The Bonds that Break

**Chapter 1**

**The Bonds that Break**

_A/N- This is a long overdo note but here are a few things that I need to mention before anyone reads the story (because I think some confusion as to the references need to be cleared up)._

_1. This story is based on the NJO (New Jedi Order), YJK (Young Jedi Knights), and JJK (Junior Jedi Knights) novels. _

_2. The Anakin in this story is Anakin Solo unless otherwise noted._

_3. There are some OCs in this story, so if there's a name you don't recognize, that's why._

_4. Again, this story is AU, so expect the unexpected._

_5. In general, please keep an open mind about this piece as it's not fully edited (I'm planning to revamp it when I finish the trilogy)._

_My name is Don "QuixoticQuest" and more information can be found on me as well as my work on my profile. No, my real name isn't Don, but that's the nickname I chose for FFN. _

_This is part one of my "Namesake" trilogy and the other two parts are listed below:_

_2. When it Begins Again (Complete)_

_3. Life and the Force (In progress)_

_I welcome all feedback as long as it's not flaming. _

_Thank you for reading, _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Anakin had lost his temper many times and had done rash, even stupid things many times. But none of them could explain what had just happened.

He brushed his sweaty bangs from his forehead as ten detonators in the training room zoomed towards him. He slashed one in half and sent four of them crashing into the wall with a force push. It was this ease with which he sent things flying, the destructive power he had, that made him feel good, and because of that, scared him too. It wasn't like he hadn't used his lightsaber to destroy something. He'd fought and killed many Yuuzhan Vong in the past few months and it had been a necessary thing. Suddenly his powers had another outlet that Anakin disliked because he knew that he was the only one who could control it, his friends and family.

He let out a yell and used the force to destroy the rest of the detonators, they smacked against the walls, leaving small holes in the wall. Anakin stood, his chest heaving. He had no idea what had gotten him so worked up. He was reckless but never violent, especially towards family or friends.

But his bitterness towards his father, Han Solo, had been building since Serpindal. Truthfully, Han did not blame Anakin in the least, but never took the time to tell Anakin that. That may have been a factor but Anakin was too angry to even listen at this point. His father's words had cut him for the last time. For a long time Han had simply given his son the cold shoulder but then resorted to harsh words whenever situations got rough. After the fight Anakin had stormed off to roll off steam in a training center, which one he didn't tell his mother or father.

Anakin deactivated his lightsaber and stepped out into the hallway of the training center. He had had enough venting. Anakin turned the corner and went back to his room. No matter what he'd done in the past, his family could forgive him. No matter what words he said or how recklessly he behaved, his family was behind him. But this time Anakin didn't feel like they would and he didn't want them to either. He was sick and tired of being pushed around and told off.

He couldn't take it any more. No matter how much the world wanted to brush his abilities to the side and treat him like a child like his father had so many times, told him that he didn't understand how to handle the world. Anakin felt bitter because it wasn't as though he didn't realize his father didn't blame him. Anakin knew that. He sensed it in one of his more calm moments. Even if Han Solo would never admit to his son that he didn't blame him, Anakin didn't care. His father obviously had no respect for his youngest child. Because if he had, Anakin would know right away. Han didn't want to tell Anakin he'd done something right, because all that mattered was what he'd done wrong. That was what made Anakin lose control. There was no balance between the two with their relationship, so Anakin just let go of his restraints. Now he had to leave. He'd done the unforgivable as a Jedi and didn't want forgiveness. As far as Anakin was concerned at the moment, he'd done the most logical thing possible.

He packed his bags in his room, it was in the early morning so no one was awake or out on the streets. He swung the strap over his should, and without looking back went to the docking bay.

At the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4, Luke had been feeling some anxiety from Leia for some time, despite the distance, he always knew a little of what his twin sister was feeling, though maybe not as acutely, it was part of their strong bond. Right now they were too mixed for Luke to get a distinct read on her thoughts. So he waited patiently for the call on the intercom that he knew would not be long in coming. In a few moments Leia's face appeared on the screen.

"Leia, what's wrong?" He didn't even need to ask because he knew something was bothering her, but it saved asking for a direct explanation, it was a gentler way to do it since he knew she was stressed.

"Luke, Anakin's gone."

Luke's face paled and he took a minute to ask, "What?"

"He and Han had a fight and Anakin ran."

"I'm sure they'll work it out."

Leia shook her head, her eyes getting more wide with the building anxiety. "Luke, they didn't just yell at each other this time."

Luke's face became serious. "What happened?"

"Anakin lost his temper and threw Han against the wall."

Luke could not believe what he was hearing. Anakin was certainly not the most level headed of all people, but violent was something he wasn't either.

"Han is in the medical center, and I don't know where Anakin is." Leia could hardly look at her brother. They both knew that this wasn't something to be easily overlooked because Anakin had stepped over the line where he could get off with a rap on the wrist. There was obviously something wrong.

"He's probably heading over here. I'll keep a lookout for him." Luke gave her a consoling look, "Leia, don't worry about this, Anakin probably just got worked up. He's not the type of person who intentionally hurts people."

"Please take care of him, Luke." Leia said and signed off. Luke sighed and leaned back in his chair. If Anakin did come to Yavin Four he'd have to give him a lecture and more than that, warn him about anger. Luke frowned. He didn't know how badly torn up Anakin was about Chewie's death, but Anakin's actions certainly weren't something to brush aside. He had lost control, completely.

Luke got up and walked to the landing pad outside of the Academy. He watched the skies. He felt out in the force and he got a confirmation on his suspicion. Anakin was not coming to Yavin Four. He was unreachable in the force as well. Luke reached out again to make sure and then went back inside. He would wait until morning.

Tahiri could hear the commotion outside of Luke's office as she came out of her afternoon class the next day.

"He didn't come?" Leia was saying on the intercom. Luke was trying to placate her and was having a difficult time.

"I'm sorry Leia, I can't get a read on him in the force. He cut himself off."

"Why would Anakin do something like that?" She asked frantically. Tahiri flinched when she heard Anakin's name. Her mind reeled at the infinite possibilities of the kind of trouble Anakin had caused and she made her way towards Luke's office with the intention of finding out.

"Look, when I find something out, I'll contact you. Just stay calm and we'll figure it out, Leia." Luke signed off and then sensing another presence turned to face Tahiri.

"What's going on with Anakin?" She demanded. Luke felt her worry and shook his head, he couldn't lie to her. She was the closest friend Anakin had and lying to her would be pointless and ultimately make things worse.

"He lost his temper and…" Luke suddenly found his words hard to find, "Well, he and Han got into a fight and Anakin lost control."

Tahiri's eyes went wide. "What did he do?" She somehow already knew the answer and wasn't sure she wanted to know but had already asked.

"He threw him into the wall with the force."

Tahiri's mind went blank. That was so uncharacteristic of Anakin, he was not the type to just throw people across a room. Nobody in the Solo family was the type to harm each other, no matter how angry or annoyed they got.

"Where did he go?" She finally found her voice.

"I'm not sure. He didn't come here so it's going to take a while to get a read on him."

"I'm going to find him." She stated. Tahiri was not the kind of person you'd want to argue with but Luke forced her to sit back down.

"No. Right now Anakin is out of control. He probably doesn't want anyone to follow him and doesn't know what he's doing is wrong."

She got agitated, "Of course he knows it's wrong! Anakin doesn't go around hurting people just because he wants to!"

Luke put his hands out in a placating gesture, trying to send reassuring vibes Tahiri's way. "Tahiri, I know we both know that Anakin doesn't harm people intentionally but the facts stand. He threw his dad against a wall and right now he doesn't seem to want to fix it. The best thing is for him to cool off and come back on his own. Otherwise…" He trailed off. Luke knew that if Anakin didn't think he'd done something wrong, which Luke wasn't sure about, Anakin could hurt the next person who came after him or cut himself off completely. Luke couldn't risk doing that. Anakin would just keep running. Sometimes a runaway had to decide on her or his own whether they really wanted to run or not.

"Otherwise what?" Tahiri pressed. She could feel her hair standing up on her neck. The whole situation was making her more jumpy than usual.

"Don't worry about that. Go back to your room, Tahiri and let me handle this." He stared her down. "Understood? I don't want you to go after him."

She lowered her gaze. "Fine." Luke nodded and indicated that she should go to her room. Tahiri stood up slowly and shuffled her feet on her way to her room.

Late in the evening, a shadow slipped out to the docking bay. The figure was carrying a bag of supplies and a silver tube hung from her waist. Tahiri snorted and thought _Yeah right, let my best friend slip off without me. Fat chance. _She felt another presence behind her and whirled around to face the darkness. She loosened up. _What was that just now? _Tahiri then turned and climbed into one of the ships after picking the locks with the force. She threw her bag into the co-pilot's seat and sat down in the pilot's seat. She clicked in her buckle and started take off. She tried to reach out to Anakin but felt nothing but emptiness. It wasn't even a mental block, just nothing. _Sithspawn. _She flew out into space, it was going to be a hard search and Anakin's lack of force connection wasn't helping matters. Behind a closed door, another person stood, arms folded, leaning against the wall with an expression of concern as well as understanding. The person turned and went back inside, silent as a wraith.


	2. On the Edge

Chapter 2

On the Edge

Leia sat on the couch with Luke. Despite the fact that Luke was abnormally calmer than she was about the incident with Anakin, she could tell he was withholding what he was actually thinking. Leia knew her brother well enough to tell he had some thoughts on the subject that were less than satisfactory and possibly unpleasant. So her inviting him to come over to the Solo's home had its ulterior motives, though not necessarily hostile as often ulterior motives in their galaxy tended to be.

"Do you want some coffee?" Leia asked. Luke nodded silently, barely shifting his head otherwise. He clasped his hands in front of him.

"Leia, I think we both know why you invited me over here."

"Does that mean you're going to tell me what you're thinking?" She raised an eyebrow as she poured the coffee. Luke seemed like he was debating what to say.

"Luke, I think I've been through just as much as you have. Don't forget Darth Vader was my father too."

Luke opened his mouth then shut it. Leia had that effect on people. She was able to make arguments or at least make the other party listen even if they adamantly disagreed. It both impressed Luke and annoyed him because he knew he couldn't get a word in edgewise unless Leia wanted him to.

"So what is it that you seem to not want to tell anyone, hmm? I asked Mara and you won't even talk to her about it."

"Anakin is changing."

"I guessed that much." Leia answered. Luke gave her a harsh stare. Sometimes she reminded him of… he dropped the thought. He sat for a few moments, occasionally taking a sip of coffee, trying to figure out how to form the words he was about to say. It bothered him that at this point, explaining something or anything for that matter to his sister was still difficult.

"Not in the way we both think, Leia. He's not turning to the dark side." Luke paused to look at Leia who was now silent herself. "I think there's a point at which we as children realize how vulnerable we are as human beings and moreover, how vulnerable our friends and family are."

Leia let out a sigh. "Luke, I don't know if that's what it is."

"Isn't it?" Luke gazed at her. "Wasn't there a point where you realized that your parents, no matter how strong, were just that- people?"

"Luke, I think you're oversimplifying things."

He shook his head. "I don't. You know that I rarely give a simple answer when I could explain matters more thoroughly."

"Still, how does that relate to Anakin?"

"Just like we did our adoptive parents, Anakin has realized that you and Han aren't infallible. Only he realized that he can also be the source of that infallibility."

"Wait, you're not saying?" She trailed off as she looked at Luke who nodded. They fell silent. Leia felt herself tire from thinking about the last time she'd given much thought to how much Anakin, no, not just Anakin, all her children had grown up. Jacen and Jaina had certainly grown into two capable adults, who loved their family and friends. But they weren't dependent on their parents so much anymore. Leia didn't think much about how her youngest son would someday do the same.

"So why did he run away?"

"I believe he's just confused. He's sixteen years old, Leia. Despite all the responsibilities we give him, we tend to forget that teens are children who are trying to understand the world. It's just easier to know about the world with the force that we don't realize how much we don't know. The same goes for children, teens, and even adults."

Leia's face turned a little pale. "I hope he's alright."

"I'm sure he is. We'd have felt something if he wasn't. But Anakin needs to figure this out on his own."

"I feel a but coming." She narrowed her eyes at her brother.

"Tahiri left last night. I think we both know where." Luke fixed her with an equally serious gaze.

Leia didn't even bother to nod. She posed the question that popped into her head the moment Luke said that, "Do Kam and Tionne know?"

Luke shook his head and sighed, rubbing his temples, "I was on my way to tell them after we had our discussion. They have a right to know and to go after her. She will be easier to track than Anakin will."

Leia suddenly laughed. Luke paused and stared curiously at his sister. "What?"

"Luke, it just occurred to me that we're the ones who don't get it."

Luke had a bemused expression on his face, "Oh?"

"I'm not going to tell you, Luke. You should already know. I'll let Anakin do what he needs to." She stood up, "Thank you for the coffee. Tell Kam and Tionne I said hello." Leia made her way to the door, opened it, and turned to wink at her brother before closing it behind her. This left Luke feeling completely confused, when at the start of the conversation he thought he was the one who had a grapple on the understanding of Anakin's actions.

Anakin didn't really have any idea where he was going. To be honest, all he knew is that he wanted was to get away from his family for a while. Anakin wasn't sure how long that would be and he didn't care too much at the moment. He switched his ship into auto-pilot while he grabbed some food from his supply bag. As he ate he mulled over the recent events.

Ever since he got back from Serpindal, it was like he didn't exist to his father or to his siblings. Every time the subject of the war came up, which it was bound to since no one seemed to want to talk about anything else, he was the first to get grilled for anything and everything he'd done wrong. Anakin knew perfectly well that his father was wrong and that he shouldn't be so hard on his youngest son, but it was that fact that he couldn't talk to his father about. That for once, Anakin had to face that his father, Han Solo, had no answer to what had happened. That Chewie had died but there really wasn't a real place to put the blame, and usually there was someone there. The Empire, the local ruffians, and the Yuuzhan Vong. This time, when Han knew he couldn't simply explain off the death on the Yuuzhan Vong or anyone, he couldn't cope. Anakin hated seeing his father like that. He put aside the food bag and scanned ahead to see if anyone was in the open space.

Just as he was about to turn his attention to something else, Anakin's radar beeped. He cursed under his breath as something shook his ship. He checked his radar as five Yuuzhan Vong fighters approached him, firing at will.

"Two can play at that game." He muttered and switched to guns. Since he was in a fighter himself, he could maneuver as well as any of the enemy pilots. Anankin flipped and then rattled the enemy's "cockpits" with lasers.

"Fiver, give me a reading on them." He called into the comlink. His droid whirred and whistled several noises. Anakin cursed a second time. "Well, give me something to shoot at or we're both toast."

"Well, at least things can't get any worse," but when he checked his radar again, more dots had appeared and out of the corner of his window he could see larger ships looming behind the smaller coral skippers. Anakin sighed as he thought, _Famous last words. _

Tahiri had never felt more tense. Anakin had done plenty of dumb things. Since their academy days, idiocy seemed to be a trait Anakin embodied with his heart and soul. She guessed that's why she started calling him "Dummy" more often than Anakin. At this point Tahiri wasn't sure what she thought about Anakin Solo. He was also introverted and held a lot of internal secrets as well as untapped potential as a Jedi but lately she hadn't paid any attention to that.

She had noticed Anakin was more serious of late. He hadn't come by but once before he ran away and even then was enough to notice that he was no longer the boyish kid he used to be. She wasn't sure she could say the same for herself. Tahiri had always embodied energetic qualities and with that came a love for talking. Anakin never seemed to mind that, but she wondered if he actually was annoyed with her constant barrage of questions, comments, and most recently, her new love of sarcasm. She had been traveling for a while and decided to take a break.

She leaned back in her chair, trying to reach out in the force. Nothing. Anakin's presence was shrouded in a whirl of emotions and now who knew how many light-years and planets. She tried again a few more times before sighing. It wasn't like she had expected him to respond right away but the fact that she couldn't feel his presence was troubling. She knew he wasn't dead, but he just wasn't anywhere that she could reach in the force. Maybe it had to do with the distance? She shook her head and decided to keep moving through space.

When had Anakin begun to change so much? She didn't know. It was as though suddenly he had come back from fighting the Yuuzhan Vong and stood taller, his shoulders had grown out more and she even noticed that his jaw was becoming more structured. Through the force she could feel something strange going on, like she didn't recognize the emotions or thoughts emanating from her best friend. He was leaving her behind, she didn't know how to talk to him anymore. Walking with him was even harder because neither one of them knew what to do, maybe it did have to do with the fact that both of them hadn't seen each other in a long time. Small talk was all they managed before Anakin had to go help his uncle with something.

It wasn't like he hadn't done any of those things before. Anakin had always been eager to leap at any opportunity to help, he was impatient and hated waiting and doing nothing when everyone else was involved in an activity, no matter how simple it was.

Tahiri's thoughts broke as she noticed something on her radar. Dozens of little dots were beeping. Without a second thought she started up the ship again and zoomed towards the location on her radar.

Luke waited his office for the knock he had been expecting for about fifteen minutes. Not that he hadn't expected anything else. The person he was waiting for had always been late by at least an hour to all his lessons, and because of that, missed them frequently. It wasn't any different now, though Luke had hoped that some maturity had checked in. Maybe it was too much to expect of someone who had cared so little about matters outside of his own concerns. Luke was even reluctant to ask him to do the favor he had in mind. Considerably, if the person walked in now, Luke would count it as an improvement. There were pressing matters at hand and the galaxy needed all the help it could get at the moment.

Luke checked his watch then looked up as the door finally zoomed open.

"Sorry about that, too many people to talk to." the man said as he came in, "Too many people remember me, it's a little unnerving."

The man was younger than Luke, he was in his late twenties, short blonde crew cut hair with dark hair underneath flat against his head. He had brilliant green eyes and a smile like no other. It was obvious that he had no worries in his mind and was smug because he stood casually near Luke's desk.

"So," He said, looking at Luke as he sat down, "What can I do for my old Master?"


	3. Unusual Circumstances

Chapter 3

Unusual Circumstances

Anakin dodged another hit from the coral skippers but was unable to evade the incoming fire from the larger ships. Anakin's swearing became more inventive as he steadily began to lose control of his temper.

"Dancing Ewok turds!" He flipped his ship and then let out a missile that exploded on the outside of the enemy cruiser but did little damage. He wished he could say the same for his ship, but the outside of his X-Wing was singed and battered from the constant fire. He couldn't dodge every attack and if they hit his engine, it would all be over. Anakin felt his ship shake again, this time it was more violent and the red lights flashed in his cockpit. Anakin could feel the sweat coming down his face and neck. This was going a lot worse than he had anticipated, and Anakin usually didn't care about the odds.

He switched to his reserves, a small storage of stronger weapons to counterattack with, but these weren't exactly fail-safe. Anakin had to get in position to use the bombs he had. He twirled and wound around the open fire then flew over the enemy cruiser, he only had a few seconds before they caught on. He punched the fire button and dropped two bombs. As he did so his ship shuddered again and his cabin started to smoke. Two more times the ship vibrated and Anakin was starting to feel more than dizzy. Anakin slammed the dashboard with his fist. He hated being uncertain if he'd pull out of a situation without a scratch.

"Uncertainties my butt." Anakin muttered and fired his lasers at a rapid rate as he did a barrel roll around one of the coral skippers. "Eat stardust, Vong scum."

He refused to go down without having taken out one of the Yuuzhan Vong carriers, he knew he had to at least try. Anakin geared up and took another round over the enemy carrier to drop his bombs, just as an enemy coral skipper dropped into his range and fired straight into his ship's nose.

What Tahiri came across was not only disturbing but something she'd only heard about in second hand details.

Two Republic refugee ships were floating in front of her, their hulls completely blasted away and left with their debris floating around next to it. The entire front half of one of the ships was burnt away and she tried not to throw up as she saw the blood splattered on the inside of the second ship. The passengers obviously hadn't been spared. Those that had survived the explosion, were now floating amidst the debris or were in the ship, dead.

Tahiri wasn't sure she wanted to get any closer to the ships for fear of what she might find. But a sudden motion near the ship alerted her force senses. She reached for the weapons' button but stopped as soon as she saw what she'd felt. It was a boy around Tahiri's age who was barely able to hold himself up as he staggered out of the ship's open hull in a space suit splattered with blood. She watched as he collapsed. Tahiri felt around in the force to see if she sensed anything strange but, finding nothing decided to retrieve the survivor.

She moved her ship over to the ship where the boy had collapsed and put her own suit on before climbing out to get him. She put his arm around her shoulder and then climbed back into her ship. After removing his space helmet and putting him in the medical room, she started up the engines again. She knew she had little medical supplies but she couldn't leave him there either. The Yuuzhan Vong would have captured him if they came back, and tortured him with their experiments.

Tahiri stopped herself in mid-thought. It was right, what she had done. Master Skywalker would have done the same thing, or if asked, he would have said to take the boy with her. Because helping anyone who was in need was the job of the Jedi. Of any human being for that matter.

Tahiri started forward. She had to find a place to drop him at medical facility. She sighed, finding Anakin would have to wait. Otherwise this boy would die, from shock or unknown injuries. Or both.

The whole front half of Anakin's ship went up in flames, blasting parts all over the place, and then another blast let flames into the back of his ship. Anakin felt the heat and knew he was running out of options. In this ship, he wasn't likely to survive anyways, he punched open a side compartment and stared for a moment at the button before him. He gripped his controls and flew once again, this time not bothering to dodge getting hit from all sides and headed on a direct course for the enemy cruiser.

Luke watched his old pupil go back down the hallway. There was a chance that even though Luke was sending him, Anakin and Tahiri were already out of reach. Luke hoped that they weren't in any serious trouble, though his senses told him otherwise.

"Hey, Dekim, what're you doing back here?" One of the older students said as the blonde haired man came from Luke's office.

"I'm being sent on a rescue mission. It seems like Luke can't handle his own students." The man laughed, his eyes glowing.

"You don't ever change, Kirk Dekim." Another grumbled good naturedly. Kirk laughed in his friendly way. Despite his initial bad behavior, he was the kind of scallywag other students could easily relate to and get along well with. That was probably why Luke didn't kick him out. In the end, it was Kirk who helped to establish a sense of unity among the Jedi in his class. Right now that was what the Jedi needed most and Luke was more than glad to have his old student back, as long as he remained a strong example of how Jedi should be acting towards one another. In other words, possibly the only reason why Luke thought he was amiable was because Luke's best friend was Han Solo.

"So how long do you think it'll take to find them?" Luke had asked Kirk. Being himself, Kirk joked with his answer.

"About two years, I can't say if it'll take longer. Might want to buy some books to pass the time."

"Kirk." Luke gave him frown, and his voice became serious.

"Okay, okay," He put his hands up in surrender, "Jeez, you people can't take a joke around here. You never did have a good sense of humor, Master Skywalker." He eyed his old teacher who raised an eyebrow.

"Is that right?" He folded his arms into his robe sleeves, "Then I'll have a good joke ready if you come back within the next two weeks, successful."

Kirk nodded, "I'll take you up on that. But, " He held up a finger, "It better be an amazing joke. No knock-knocks, you need something original." He then turned and left. Luke sighed. He would have to call Jacen, no one knew had to tell jokes better in Luke's family than Jacen Solo.

Kirk loaded his belongings into his ship and looked one last time at his old school. It had been ten years since he'd last seen the Academy and the reasons he'd left were as mystifying as anything else in his life. He loved his school, what the Academy had meant, but it had too many memories. Kirk liked keeping to himself more. Staying away and traveling had suited him for a decade and he only planned to change that for this one mission. The world only had room for a few scoundrels and Kirk had decided he wasn't one of them. He boarded his ship without a second glance behind him and was soon making the hyperspace jump.

Tahiri had navigated the closest place to drop off her charge but it still wasn't close enough and she could feel Anakin's presence wasn't anywhere near there, despite how much he had cut himself off, she still knew that much.

Her attention was diverted as she heard a small voice from behind her, "What's going on?"

She looked at the boy behind her as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand against his head, as though trying to suppress an intense headache. Her sympathy went to him.

"We're going to get you to the closest planet for medical attention." She answered and refocused her attention on steering the ship around the meteors. He leaned against the wall and staggered over to watch what she was doing. Tahiri's defenses went up even though the boy wasn't doing anything except watching the stars fly by like little specks.

Her monitor flashed and she noticed a planet up ahead. She checked the name to be sure it wasn't one of the ones now inhabited by the Yuuzhan Vong. It wasn't but she still felt wary. Even if it was safe from the Yuuzhan Vong that didn't mean that there weren't people there who disliked Jedi and she wasn't even sure how her current companion felt about the situation. Though she imagined that whatever he thought previously was changed by his ship being blown up.

"Are you sure you want to stand up?" She eyed him carefully. She sensed him flinch at her sudden question.

"I'm fine." He answered with a flat voice and took the co-pilot seat next to Tahiri's. She smirked to herself. _So much for 'I'm fine.' _

For the first time she got a good look at him. He was her age but had a firm set face, he had obviously started growing out of his boyhood early. His gray eyes were serious and cold almost. All his features were sharp and he had dark hair that reminded Tahiri a little of Zekk's, only this boy's hair was softer and less dirty. He certainly didn't seem like the street type, he didn't radiate any kind of tension that Zekk would, he was trusting enough and never once questioned Tahiri's intentions. Which, although she was relieved about, confused her. Maybe he just didn't see the point as he was in no condition to do anything about it in his current state.

"Name?" He said abruptly. That question made Tahiri jump out of her reverie.

"Tahiri." She raised her eyebrow, waiting, "Well? Are you going to give me the courtesy of knowing your name? Or is this one of those strange one way exchanges, I've been through those before-"

"James." He gave her a small frown. "You going to tell me exactly where we're going?"

"Not if you're going to keep giving me the evil eye."

He continued to look sour and didn't bother to respond to her comment. He then focused his attention on the surrounding of the ship. A few minutes passed in silence between them and then Tahiri's sensor beeped. She felt out in the force. They were getting closer, a planet loomed in the front window as they approached. An official hailed her on the intercom.

"State your name and business on Bastion."

"Tahiri Veila and-"

Her voice was cut off but a sudden sear of pain in her left abdomen, she suppressed the pain with the force, and she looked down, there wasn't a mark on there, and now James was eyeing her curiously. "I have a patient who needs immediate medical attention." She finished as another pain made her vision go black for a moment, she steadied herself against the dashboard and felt as though she would lose her lunch.

James first started by saying "That's really obscure place-"

Tahiri glared at him. "It's a logical place for what I'm looking for." It was since Anakin would try to be as far from any safe place surrounded by people he knew. But that also meant he'd be close to Yuuzhan Vong territory.

"Confirmed. You will be met at the docking bay by a medical squad, stand by your ship until given permission to unload."

She felt the sweat dripping down her neck, "Roger…" The officer signed off and James was now looking at Tahiri with a mix of shock and then she felt a burning sensation.

"You're a Jedi." He half stated and half asked. His stunned expression dissipated as his eyes grew colder by the passing minute, his eyes fixated on her lightsaber for the first time.

It took all of Anakin's strength not to scream as the side of his ship was hit by a blast, shattering the metal panels and his ship was sent spiraling a ways from his original target. He suddenly felt a sharp pain his left side and looked down. A sharp edge of a broken panel had buried itself in Anakin's left abdomen. He couldn't move and he already had burns from the flames licking at his cockpit. "Fiver…" He stammered. Anakin didn't even have the strength to give his droid orders. He then turned his head and felt another impact that rattled his ship before he blacked out.

Kirk Dekim leaned back in his chair, he was now wearing his glasses, something he didn't much like doing as it made him look more intellectual than scoundrel like. Instead he favored his goggles, which he had built with the same prescription as his regular glasses. Kirk began to feel out in the force. Luke told him what his nephew and his friend looked like, but Kirk hated to admit that he didn't know how to start searching for either of them. _Don't kids stick together anymore? _He then chuckled. It wasn't like he didn't know how hypocritical he was sounding at the moment. Kirk hadn't spoken to his Academy friends in a decade. He wondered how his closest friends were doing, if they hadn't been killed by the Vong already.

Maybe it was his fault that he was out in space alone, searching for two kids he knew nothing about except that one was his former teacher's nephew and the other the nephew's friend. That was all he knew. Kirk didn't bother himself with small details. He wished Luke could give him details on what their force presence felt like, but since he had no strong bonds to Luke, transferring such in depth details was impossible. Kirk switched his tracker on, to pick up anyone who might be in space and then absentmindedly watched his radar.

"Why haven't you even come by?" Luke had asked him, in the brief time that they had met a little over a day ago. "I know you haven't been here in a long time, but you still have a place here."

"I'm not interested in being like you, Master Skywalker." He had replied curtly, "It requires me to care about things I really don't."

Luke eyed him but said nothing in response. Even if Luke hadn't believed his student, he didn't say anything or change the way he was feeling in the force. Kirk had then changed the subject to the details of the search and then where Luke thought it was best to begin searching. Luke had promptly told him everything then Kirk tried to get out as soon as possible. Being the center of attention before was something he would have given anything for, but now he would give anything for the world to completely ignore him. With the force, that was impossible.


	4. The Enemy of My Enemy is Not My Friend

Chapter 4

The Enemy of my Enemy is not my Ally

James stood a few feet away from Tahiri, his eyes dangerously intense.

Tahiri watched him and then sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yeah right. You Jedi always say that and then another planet gets destroyed or something. Don't come near me. It's your fault the Vong are here. You should go die like all your friends!"

She felt herself growing irritated as she steered the ship down to the docking bay, while they landed, she turned to face James who had picked up a blaster from the shelf and was aiming it at her.

"Even if I am a Jedi, I just saved your butt, so you're stuck with me." She said pointedly. His gaze didn't waver.

"You caused those Vong to blow my ship up. They knew you were coming! You- You killed them!" He gulped and licked his lips. Tahiri suddenly figured it out. Those weren't just refugee ships, they were Peace Brigade Ships.

"Peace Brigade." She nearly swore. They were the reason everyone hated Jedi and were trying to sell them out to the Yuuzhan Vong.

"You better surrender, the minute this ship lands, I'm turning you over."

She had had enough and stood up. "Look, I don't care who you are, but I've about had it up to here with Peace Brigade nonsense. We haven't done anything to you, and we won't unless you try something stupid." She eyed his gun and made sure he could see her lightsaber by pulling back her robe.

"Your choice." She waited, she did not intended to move to attack or defend unless James became violent. It was taking all of her patience but she had to try to reason with him. She didn't come to Bastion to mess around with a Peace Brigade supporter. Tahiri briefly considered the idea of knocking him out and taking him unconscious to the med-squad but brushed the idea aside since she'd have to explain how her charge had gotten a bruise from where she would end up hitting him.

"Like I'd believe you." James snapped, "The Jedi have done nothing to save people!" She could feel the shaking in his voice and the conflicting emotions floating around.

"Oh? And what have the Peace Brigade done differently?" She folded her arms and stared James down. She could hear the people outside shouting. They would have to come out to meet the med-squad soon, but she had to finish this first. Or James would probably sell her out, and she'd never get to help Anakin.

He spat at her feet. "You don't know anything." He scowled so deeply she could feel his exact emotions roiling around then a direct thought, or more precisely, a memory. She felt her own feelings become mixed then she sighed. There was no way she could hurt him now that she knew what he was bothered by. Tahiri wasn't really a violent person anyways, not physically anyway. Her best weapons, as many would frequently tell her, were her words.

"I understand more than you think, James." She gave him a knowing look. "My parents are gone too."

James shook his head. "No, you're just using a Jedi trick to get me to trust you!" She then heard an official call for them to unload. She had to make this quick.

"You can choose whether or not to believe me. But I'll tell you this: I don't go around blaming people for what's happened to my family when I already know it won't do any good." She strode past him to get to the ramp. "It won't bring my mom and dad back."

James' hands grew limp and the blaster slipped from his hands, and he slumped to his knees just as Tahiri opened the hatch and lowered the ramp. A medical team came in, and Tahiri pulled her robe over her lightsaber and picked up the blaster. The medical team helped James to his feet.

"Are you injured as well?" One medic asked. She shook her head and they put James on a stretcher, he watched her as they carried him away. Her eyes were cast in shadows, he couldn't tell what she was feeling, but he could sense something, but what that something was, he didn't know.

Anakin blinked his eyes open. He was lying on a cold floor, and noticed that his prison had Yuuzhan Vong standing outside the cell door, he could hear them talking. In a few moments the door opened and a more scarred Yuuzhan Vong entered.

"A Jeedai. How pleasant." The Vong snarled in basic. Anakin was roughly grabbed and pushed in a kneeling position before the Vong, who by the amount of scarring, Anakin could tell was some high level officer.

"You will tell us where your fellow Jeedai are." He stated as he eyed Anakin. Anakin said nothing and used the force to reduce the pain as the officer struck him with his staff. Anakin's lip now bled and the right side of his face was beginning to bruise from the eye down.

"Infidel! Speak!" He jabbed Anakin this time in his chest, and Anakin fell over, unable to take the added pain to his already existing injury in his abdomen.

"Ah, so you are already in pain?" The officer seemed more than delighted. Anakin looked up at his captor and said nothing. He fixed the officer with a defiant stare before picking himself up.

"I am impressed, Jeedai. You will go to see my superior. He will be pleased that you are able to _endure._" He left his emphasis on the last word and signaled to the guards who jerked Anakin up on his feet and half led, half dragged him down the infested hallways to a much larger chamber.

As soon as the doors opened, they threw Anakin down face first and Anakin heard a crack and saw the blood in front of him. Blinding pain surged from his face. It took him no time to know that his nose was broken. He glanced up at the higher official before him. He was scarred so badly that his face almost had no shape.

The officer behind Anakin bowed low. "Great One, this infidel is a Jeedai, he is able to endure much pain."

The higher official rose from where he was sitting in what looked like the Yuuzhan Vong command center. He strode over and looked down at Anakin.

"You are able to endure pain, that is what makes a warrior, Jeedai." He waved his hand and a Yuuzhan Vong brought a staff. "We shall see how much of a warrior you are, before we decide the half that is infidel." He smiled in the only way a Yuuzhan Vong could, which was in no way, the kind of joy humans or other species would describe.

It didn't take Kirk but a minute to notice that the ship hovering over Bastion, was the same one that Luke had described as the ship missing from the docking bay at the Academy. _Finally. _Kirk sighed and lowered his own ship into the docking bay after getting clearance.

As he stepped out and looked around, he saw the other ship and approached it without bothering to look as a blue beam blocked his path up the ramp.

"Unless you want murder on your hands, I suggest you lower your lightsaber." He eyed the blonde haired girl in front of him. She didn't lower it.

"Who are you?" She glanced around to see if anyone else was watching, but everyone minded their own business around the docking bay.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing." He raised an eyebrow. She didn't lower her guard.

"I can see why Master Skywalker worries about you, you've got way too much distrust."

Tahiri watched the stranger for a moment, then after feeling around in the force and sensing nothing off about him, she lowered her lightsaber, switching it off.

"Good, now I can answer your question." He straightened his own tunic and jacket. "I'm Kirk Dekim, an old student of Luke's."

Tahiri folded her arms. That didn't give her any comfort. Her experience with Luke's students that hadn't been to the Academy in years was that they were usually dark Jedi who'd rather take over the galaxy or sell Master Skywalker out to the Yuuzhan Vong.

"Master Skywalker sent you?" She asked, still giving Kirk a suspicious eye, her initial shock was wearing off and now she was more wary than anything else.

"Yes, to retrieve the two runaways. Now where's the second one?"

Tahiri felt herself grow cold at that question. "I don't know."

Kirk looked somewhat bemused, "Huh, and I'd thought you two would already have met up."

She felt herself get hot. "I ran into some obstacles."

"Such as?"

"Shut up."

She ignored Kirk before he started laughing. She turned to face him. "What?"

"You're stubborn and spunky. I didn't know Luke still took students like that."

"I guess you haven't been around in a while."

Kirk raised an eyebrow this time. "Good intuition." He thought for a moment, "So what brings you here? It must be important if you left off your search."

She debated how much she should tell this, as far as she could tell, stranger. Then decided she could always ditch him if she needed to. "I ran across a refugee ship that had been destroyed by the Yuuzhan Vong. There was a survivor so I brought him here."

This made Kirk change his mind from his originally intended response, "Quite noble. Did a medical squad already pick him up?"

"Yeah. About ten minutes before you showed up."

"So, why not up and leave, hmm?"

"I don't know." She said. In truth she did know and she felt Kirk's gaze on her. If he really was a Jedi he would have already been able to tell that she was lying. If he had noticed her lie, Kirk didn't say anything about it, which surprised Tahiri. He certainly seemed like the type who would be nosy but he wasn't. He cocked a smile at her. "I'm not your parents, you know. I don't need to know everything about your life."

"Well, get used to it because you're not going to learn anything except my name. It's Tahiri." Kirk's expression became strange. She wasn't really sure why. She could feel that he was thinking about something intensely, but he was good at hiding what it was. She couldn't read him like Anakin. _Though_, she thought, _I can't really read anyone like I can read Anakin_.

"You're Kam and Tionne's daughter?" He blurted suddenly, pointing a hesitant finger at her. Tahiri could only stare as a million and one questions flooded into her head.


	5. Down and Out

Chapter 5

Down and Out

"Yeah," Tahiri said, she was just as confused as he was. If this guy had been away from the Academy for so long, how would he know that? She wasn't the biological child of Kam and Tionne. She stared for a long time at Kirk. He couldn't find his own words, so Tahiri decided to speak again for the both of them.

"Just who are you?" She asked, this time, she didn't want a simple answer.

Kirk looked at her. "I'm an old student of Luke's, but I only know Luke because Kam is an old friend of my father's. He was the one who found out I was force sensitive."

Tahiri couldn't believe her ears. It was so much like her own story it was unnerving. Kirk was the son of her adoptive father or rather, Kam's friend? The world was way too small for her taste. Despite that, it still manage to tie itself up in knots.

She finally asked the question that had been in the front of her mind for a while since Kirk had said that he knew about her. "How do you know about me? Kam and Tionne aren't my biological parents. And you've been out of touch with Luke. How do you know?" She repeated.

"I didn't actually." He shifted uncomfortably, "Kam talked to me a while ago about Tionne having found you in the desert and that he adopted you. Luke told me your name but it didn't match any of the names on the registrar. I just sensed just now that it was you that he was talking about. I never thought Kam would be a father."

"So you're friends with him now?" Tahiri asked.

"You know how family friends are. Everyone is on a first name basis at some point. After my father died, Kam became the closest family I had." Kirk stopped, he didn't know why he was suddenly telling Tahiri this. He'd just met her and on top of that he was telling her something he'd never really talked about with anyone.

Tahiri felt herself grow dizzy and staggered. Kirk grabbed her before she could fall over.

"What's wrong?" He asked. She steadied herself and Kirk let go.

"It's Anakin." She said, breathing heavily. She looked up at Kirk who nodded. Luke most have told him about their strong bond because he didn't seem surprised about how much effect Anakin's distant pain was having on Tahiri. Then again, it took a lot to surprise a Jedi.

"We'll take my ship." Kirk said, "It's faster." Tahiri nodded wordlessly and followed Kirk up the ramp of his ship before she could go any further she felt someone behind her and whirled around. "So you _were _telling the truth." She turned to see James standing there. He unfolded his arms and sighed.

"I guess orphans should stick together. Even if you're a Jedi." He gave her a cold look. She stared at him for a moment then he looked almost offended.

"What?"

"Jedi aren't that bad. If you're coming you're going have to get used to us. If you complain we'll dump you the first chance we get." She didn't flinch or hesitate. James didn't respond then nodded.

"Fine." He followed her up the ramp as it closed.

Once inside she looked back at him. "I thought you were hurt?"

He grinned, "Not really. A few cuts and bruises, nothing a med kit can't help."

"Huh." She looked perplexed as another question occurred to her. She narrowed her eyes and said slowly, "By the way, how'd you escape from the med squad?"

"I just told them there was a Jedi somewhere who was chopping people up." She glared at him and Kirk rolled his eyes. This was going to be a strange trip.

It was then that Tahiri's head hurt so badly that she would have fallen over if both James and Kirk hadn't caught her. It wasn't like before, this time she could almost hear Anakin's voice as he fought whatever it was that was hurting him. She gritted her teeth.

"Tahiri?" Kirk said, "Are you okay?"

She sat down. They had to find Anakin and fast.

Anakin gritted his teeth as the higher Yuuzhan Vong attached something to his back. It looked like a slug covered in coral but it didn't feel remotely like a slug. In fact, Anakin would have preferred a slug to the feeling this "slug" was giving him. It sent sharp pains down his spine like an electric shock, it took all of Anakin's remaining energy to stay on his knees at that point. After five minutes the high official signaled and the "slug" was removed.

He stepped forward and looked right at Anakin. "You are courageous, young Jeedai." He then bent down to what humans would call a squatting position. The other soldiers objected to this, "Great One, do not lower yourself to an infidel!"

He waved them off. "It makes me wonder what strength keeps you going." He examined Anakin with just his eyes and as they met, Anakin's blue eyes stared back, cold icicles with no feeling in them. "Then it struck me. Most Jeedai are not so filled with anger as you are. Perhaps they should learn from you?"

The color left Anakin's face. Was that what was keeping him going? It didn't make any sense. Anakin hadn't felt himself want to attack the Yuuzhan Vong in front of him or even the guards. For that matter, he wasn't feeling in the least bit aggressive. He smiled to himself and used a brief Jedi meditation method before raising his head to face the Yuuzhan Vong high official.

"Your eyes have not given up. Yet your body would die before them." He stood up and turned slightly away from Anakin as he said, "It would have been better if your body was dead now. But you will endure more."

Anakin watched as three foot soldiers came in, bowing and then approaching their leader. He spoke to them quickly in Yuuzhan Vong, the soldiers merely listened with the occasional word, that Anakin took as assent. They bowed again and stood in a straight line in front of Anakin. One came over and untied Anakin. Confused, Anakin looked at his captor for an explanation. He knew it would come but that didn't change the fact that them untying him could not mean anything good.

The high official said, "Stand up, Jeedai. You have proven yourself as a warrior. You will fight these soldiers," He paused as he drew himself up, "Then you will fight me."

Anakin stood up, an idea was forming in his head. He grinned with renewed energy. The official nodded his approval. "Good, you are ready, Jeedai." The three soldiers charged Anakin, their staffs aimed straight for him, Anakin didn't move but continued smiling.

It helped that Tahiri was with them because of her strong bond to Anakin, but it didn't make it any easier to navigate the entire galaxy looking for Anakin's exact location with the amount of dangerous people or species roaming the arms of the galaxy.

Tahiri stretched out her mind for the up-teenth time that day. They had flown for hours without sleep. Even James, who was the least invested of the three remained awake. Although he stood off to the side, watching as Tahiri did her force reaching. After a while she got irritated.

"What?" She snapped at him, unable to keep her eyes closed any longer. Kirk watched them warily.

"I don't get you Jedi."

"Again with the 'you Jedi' comments, what's with you anyways?"

"Me? I'm not the one who thinks she's telepathic. Who is this Anakin guy anyways? Your boyfriend?"

That stopped Tahiri for a moment then she hotly responded, "No, he's my best friend and-" She then snapped, "It's none of your business, okay? If you really think it's you against all Jedi, then you can just hide in the other room!"

Her comment obviously had struck a nerve because James' face changed from a cool gaze to his mouth twitching with uncontrollable anger. "Fine. When you need the normal guy, I'll be in here. But don't go crying when the Vong kill your boyfriend." He turned and walked out of the cockpit to one of the rooms and the door slid shut behind him.

"Are you even trying to get along with him?" Kirk asked, turning his head to look sidelong at Tahiri.

"Why should I try to be friends with the 'Jedi hater'?"

Kirk shrugged. "Maybe he could prove to be a better person than you think?" He arched his brow.

"You sound like Master Skywalker."

"Well, he was my teacher, you know." Kirk replied simply, "All I'm saying is to cut the guy some slack. He did decide to come along with us, so maybe he wants to help and just doesn't know how."

"Now you're just being ridiculous." She sat down huffily in the chair next to Kirk's.

"Maybe, maybe not. You don't know that, do you?"

"No, but-"

"So give him space."

"He's got plenty of it out there, why'd he have to choose the one in here?" She grumbled, hunching over with her arms folded. Kirk laughed.

"There's not always a logical explanation for everything." He pointed out, and winked at her, "There's one thing you won't learn from a Jedi Master who only believes in the force."

She looked up, her initial anger and irritation leaving her. "Is that why you left?"

He paused and didn't answer, his eyes defocused and trying to occupy their attention on the space outside the ship.

"The Jedi Academy." she elaborated, in hopes he'd answer. His gaze refocused itself on the screen in front of him. "More or less." His tone changed abruptly, "Go get some sleep, I'll let you know when we get to the next search location." Tahiri got up and left the cockpit and made her way to her room. She threw herself down on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. She tossed and turned, but somehow she already knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. The night was long enough and she had to fill it with thoughts since her body refused to become even remotely drowsy. It was times like this that she wished she wasn't a Jedi because the gap in the force where answers should have been, were empty, and a Jedi was always aware of that gap, whether they liked it or not.


	6. Friends

Chapter 6

Friends

Tahiri sat up in her head, scratching her head. She'd managed to get about two hours of sleep before she heard Kirk's voice calling them to the cockpit. That fact in itself was a miracle considering she expected to get no sleep at all. _Way to set the bar low, Tahiri. Can't go wrong if you have no expectations at all except for failure. _She pulled her jacket back on and made her way to the cockpit, she kept walking before she realized she'd been trying to walk right through James.

He eyed her, "Looks like you didn't get much sleep."

She yawned, "Great intuition. You might become a Jedi yet." She went around him as he stood there for a moment, as though trying to come up with a retort, and finding none, he followed her into the cockpit. They stood next to Kirk as he briefed them on his findings.

"Based on what Tahiri told us-" He began but not before James interrupted.

"Based on Jedi tricks." James cut in.

Kirk continued as though he had not heard James, "Anakin is here," he pointed to a planet on the map labeled "Bilbringi."

"Great, we found him, let's go." James said flippantly. Kirk gave him a silencing glare.

"Bad news is that it's a Yuuzhan Vong base now. I confirmed it while you two were asleep." He typed a few more times on the keys and came up with a view of the space not far ahead of them. Amounts of debris were scattered all over the place. The battered body of an X-Wing floated by their screen, its hull blasted in numerous places and its glass shattered. "You can guess what did that." He sighed and caught Tahiri's eye. "But we're going in because first of all, Luke would have my head if we didn't and secondly, we've come a long way to get a Jedi out of trouble, so we may as well finish the job."

Tahiri fingered her lightsaber. Kirk noticed and frowned. "But I want you both to understand that we're not fooling around down there. I want you both to listen to my commands because we'll have a better chance of surviving if we're all following some kind of unified plan."

Tahiri felt herself become impatient and then felt a calming hand on her shoulder. Kirk stood next to her. "Don't worry, we'll get him out." He smiled at her.

Jaina Solo was not the type of person to take anything without absolute seriousness. She did everything with in a planned way. She was the opposite of both her brothers, Jacen, who was a fun loving jokester who made light of even the most serious of situations. Her younger brother, Anakin, was reckless and determined. His quiet introverted personality made him immediately set apart from his sister, who was certainly a thinker, but not quiet. Jaina spoke her mind when she wanted to. It was her temper that often caused fights between herself and the people around her. Jaina had found since the beginning of the Yuuzhan Vong war that Anakin had become the person most interested in fixing ships and building things. Jaina still did it on occasion but not as enthusiastically as she used to. She was more interested now in flying ships than fixing them.

Today, however was an exception. Jaina pulled herself out from under the hood of a ship. Her face was now blackened and her coveralls dirty. She grinned.

"I haven't seen that look in a while." a voice said from behind her. Jaina turned, already knowing the voice and of course, the strong personality felt through a strong bond, of her twin brother, Jacen. He stood smirking in a very Solo way. Jacen looked more and more like their father, Han Solo, each day. Jacen was outgoing and a troublemaker. Their choice in types of girls wasn't too off either. Tenel Ka was a warrior and Jaina's mother was a politician. Both used weapons of a different ilk to achieve their goals.

"So, what brought this about?" Jacen asked, coming around to see what his sister was doing.

"I saw the engine needed rewiring so I decided to fix it." She backed away completely to get a better look at her handywork.

"Blowing off steam." He stated, not asking it. Jaina knew it was futile to hide anything from Jacen. He smiled sympathetically at his sister with a shrug. "Look, this Anakin thing has gotten me pretty rattled too."

"Jace, he threw dad against a wall." She gave him an exasperated look. Jacen tended to make serious subjects sound very loose and casual.

"Like I said, I'm rattled." He replied, as if to try to make his sister rethink what she thought was Jacen's view of the subject of their younger brother.

She blew a sigh. Jacen probably wouldn't say how he felt but Jaina already knew. Their bond sometimes left out details, but feelings weren't one of them. Their emotions and feelings about friends, family and anything else were like an open book. It annoyed Jaina because she never had her feelings to herself. That was something you had to get used to if you were a Jedi, but having a twin who was a Jedi was even more impersonal. Though, she mused, it had its advantages.

"Has mom said anything?" Jaina asked.

"No, she said Uncle Luke was going to send someone to find him, but you know-" He waved his hand. She did know. Nothing in the galaxy, at least the one they lived in, ever went _exactly _according to plan. There were always obstacles and of course, minor adjustments to what the original idea was. Jaina and Jacen, after all their own adventures knew that better than anyone else. They'd fought through a second empire, defeated numerous sith, and thwarted assassins after the life of their best friend, Tenel Ka. This time was different. Because not only had Anakin lost control, but had hurt their father. Right now wasn't a safe time, even more so than usual, to wander around trying to figure the ways of the world because of the Yuuzhan Vong. The creatures known as the Yuuzhan Vong would sooner kill themselves than accept a Jedi as an equal. In all seriousness, Jaina wondered how they managed to be masochists without dying from the mutilations all over their bodies. She hoped they'd off themselves from their own pain so her family could get some rest.

"By the way," Jacen said, suddenly remembering his reason for finding his sister, "Uncle Luke wants us to do a mission for him."

She gave him a knowing look. "Well?"

"What are we waiting for?" He finished. They laughed and Jaina slammed the ship's hood shut before following her twin to the their parents' apartment to talk to their Uncle over the intercom.

When they came in, their friends Zekk and Tenel Ka were already there. Luke's face was on the screen and greeted his niece and nephew as they came in.

"Good, now I can give the full details. As I've already told Zekk and Tenel Ka, we've got some issues with the air space around some of the planets. Many refugee ships have been hit in the last few months and their passengers, you can guess." The group nodded as a collective. The Yuuzhan Vong had made deliveries, even non-military based ones, difficult and nigh impossible, even suicidal if the Yuuzhan Vong had taken over the area space traveled in.

"So, I'd like for you to escort a delivery ship with weapon attachments for the refugee ships to Bespin." He looked down at a piece of paper in front of him. "This is important so the refugees have some way to defend themselves. But I don't want you taking any unnecessary risks either. Just get it delivered and come back here."

Jacen muttered, "It'll never happen exactly like that. Risks and Solo are never separate."

Luke had obviously heard, because Jacen practically shouted the comment, but didn't comment. He continued, "Pack up, the ship leaves tomorrow morning at 7 AM from the docking bay in Coruscant, it shouldn't be hard for you to find, it's a big supply ship. I want everyone to be ready with supplies for travel and their lightsabers before it gets there."

"We will be there, Master Skywalker," Tenel Ka affirmed with a nod.

"We'll take care of it, don't worry." Jacen gave his uncle a wink and felt a jab in the ribs from his sister. Zekk remained silent but nodded.

Jaina took notice of this but said nothing until her uncle had signed off and her brother had walked off with Tenel Ka.

"Zekk? Are you okay?" She caught up and walked in step with him. He turned.

"I'm going to pass on the mission."

"What?" Jaina gave Zekk an incredulous look. "Why would you do that?"

He fixed her with a stare. "We should be fighting the Yuuzhan Vong directly."

"Defending refugees is just as important, Zekk." She gave him a playful punch, "Come on, we've been sitting around doing nothing for months, it'll be good to do something at least."

"It's not enough."

"At least it's not nothing." She frowned and tried to get a read on his thoughts. "What's really bothering you?"

"Nothing." He replied. "I'll see you later." He made his way back down the hallway to his room, leaving Jaina both confused and shut out.

Anakin jumped out of the way to dodge the first attack from one of the soldiers. Another came at him from the rear and he used the force to push the soldier back, but because of its thick armor, it didn't do any damage. Anakin parried another staff attack and then was sent sprawling by another from his blind-spot. The one that had been pushed was now rushing Anakin. Anakin stood still and let him come, turning off his lightsaber, then as soon as the warrior was less than five feet away, Anakin flipped over its head and ignited his blade right through its unprotected back. The warrior let out a strangled croak before falling down. Anakin then finished it with a single blow to its head. He then turned to face the others. Anakin had little time to breath because the other two warriors were coming at him from two different angles.

He then smirked and charged at one of the warriors without stop, before the warrior could slow down, Anakin had grabbed hold of its staff, the warrior tried to jerk it from Anakin's grip but failed to do so because Anakin had pulled it down towards him, making it impossible for the warrior to gain the upper hand. and while holding it in place stabbed the warrior in the chest, sliced its exposed arms then with a hard blow, cut the arm holding the staff off. The warrior staggered backwards then charged Anakin again, swinging its one good arm and scoring a blow to Anakin's own arm. Anakin took the staff and hurled it at the warrior, impaling it on its own weapon. It didn't get up.

Without a pause Anakin turned to face the final warrior. He was sweating perfusely and breathing heavily. Though he noticed the amused look on the face of the higher official. Did expect the warriors to be killed by Anakin in the first place? Anakin had little time to think over the possibilities as the last warrior was upon him, slashing Anakin's leg. Anakin, in his pain let out a yell and used the full extent of the force to shove the warrior over, this time it fell, dropping the staff. Anakin wasted no time waiting and grabbed the staff. The warrior, seemingly unfazed by the loss of its weapon, faced Anakin and then charged again. It swung its "fists" and Anakin parried with the staff and his lightsaber. Anakin struck a few blows to his opponent with the staff before backing away, casting the staff aside. He saw the warrior coming at him again and met the warrior halfway, pushing his legs up into a jump and bringing his lightsaber onto the warrior's head. The warrior shrieked as blood oozed from its split skull. Anakin fell to the ground, his injured leg unable to support him anymore. He watched the warrior as it blindly staggered around and then, seeing Anakin out of its one remaining eye, ran at him. But it didn't get very far as a staff grew out of its abdomen. The warrior dropped, revealing the high official standing behind it, staff gripped in its hands. It fixed Anakin with a stare.

"Now you will fight me, Jeedai."

"I can feel him," Tahiri said to Kirk. She had her eyes shut as she searched for Anakin's presence with her mind. It was there, but it kept fading in and out of reach. She wasn't sure why, and wanted to get to him before something bad happened. "He's on the planet, that much I can tell." She confirmed as she slowly opened her eyes.

"That's all I need to know." Kirk replied. He stood up and went to the closet just outside of the cockpit. He took out three laser-proof vests and tossed them to James and Tahiri. Then he handed James a blaster.

"You can use one, right?" Kirk asked James. James snorted.

"Of course I can." He pushed past Kirk and waited impatiently by the door that would lower to become their unloading ramp. Tahiri took a blaster too. It might help if they needed to shoot before engaging the Yuuzhan Vong. Plus, two weapons was better than one when fighting the Yuuzhan Vong. Kirk gave her an approving nod.

"Good thinking." He picked a blaster up and shoved it into his belt next to his lightsaber. He then guided the ship closer to the planet. For some reason even as the base came into sight through the frontal view-port, no Yuuzhan Vong were in sight. Tahiri watched the grounds, and found she disliked the silence that she felt around the area. Even for the Yuuzhan Vong, who could not be felt in the force, this was too eerily quiet.

James had noticed too because he kept looking through the side windows on the ship and narrowing his eyes to see any activity, and then turned because he saw none. "This is weird." He jabbed his thumb towards the window, "There's nothing out there. Are you sure we're in a Yuuzhan Vong base?"

Kirk's muscles twitched from frustration and uncertainty. "I don't like this." His statement confirmed the general feeling. The quiet continued as Kirk lowered them closer to the ground.

Then it became abundantly clear why there was no one around to give them an unpleasant welcoming party. Kirk's eyes jumped to the cliff nearby the base and saw a semi-circle formed around two figures in the middle. One of them was a tall, highly scarred warrior with more armor and mutilations than the surrounding Yuuzhan Vong and the other was a smaller human. Tahiri didn't take long to recognize her best friend.

"Anakin! He's down there dueling that Yuuzhan Vong." She kept her eyes on the battle which seemed to be teetering back and forth, each contestant scoring an equal number of wounds on each other.

James squinted at the glowing violet colored beam in Anakin's hands. "He has his lightsaber, so why doesn't he just go all out and run away."

Kirk frowned as he watched the ongoing duel, "Maybe he has no way to get off the planet or he hasn't got enough strength. We can't tell how long they've been making him fight for."

Tahiri was over to the door in an instant, "Then we can't waste any time. We've got to get him to make a break for it." She pulled out her lightsaber. James joined her at the door while Kirk worked on getting the ship low enough to the ground.

"Tahiri, do you think you can call out to him through the force?" Kirk asked. "It'd be better that

"I can try." She closed her eyes, hoping that this time Anakin would actually hear her voice through their bond. But lately he had shut himself off for whatever reason he had. She pressed but kept coming up against a blank wall then a storm of emotions that she couldn't make head nor tails of. She sighed and reopened her eyes.

"I can't get through." She bit her lip and felt her mind go blank. What could they do if Anakin couldn't break away? There was a slim chance of them being able to fight that many Yuuzhan Vong and live.

"Try again." Kirk urged. Tahiri was already on it, pushing as hard as she could. Come on. She almost screamed inside her head. If their bond meant anything, it meant that they could feel each other and almost hear each other's exact thoughts any time, if her bond meant anything to Anakin, which she knew it did, why wasn't he answering?

The ship loomed closer to the dueling area, the semi-circle had moved closer to the cliff. Her panic began to rise as she saw Anakin's face for a brief second, his lightsaber raised, the Yuuzhan Vong he'd been fighting was on the ground for a second. She shouted his name in her head. His fierce eyes lost concentration for a second then in an instant the Yuuzhan Vong leader was on his feet and thrust his staff forward. Anakin took a step back, the poisoned tip of the leader's staff dripped blood. Anakin's gaze went wide as they saw the ship for a moment, reflecting in his ice blue eyes before they lost focus. Off balance he then stumbled back over the cliff, leaving the Yuuzhan Vong leader to raise his staff in victory, and the ship hovering in the background to slowly retreat.


	7. What's Left Behind

Chapter 7

What's Left Behind

Tahiri tried to comprehend what she had seen. It had looked like Anakin, her best friend in the world, had just fallen over a cliff because a Yuuzhan Vong had stabbed him. But that was impossible. She'd just felt his presence in her mind a minute ago.

She tried for the third time to contact her friend since she hadn't felt his presence disappear in the force yet. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be if she didn't feel him die. She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Kirk.

"Tahiri, we've got to go, the Yuuzhan Vong are coming this way."

"We can't!" She yelled at him. "Anakin's still down there? Or have you forgotten why we're here?!" She went back to the ramp. "Open this, I'm going down there."

To her surprise, James punched the button. Kirk's face became incredibly livid. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" He walked across the cockpit until he was facing James directly. "I gave an order to leave, so why are you openly defying me?"

"Didn't you hear Tahiri? Anakin's not dead. So we can't leave him behind. I don't like this any more than you do, Jedi, but we're here to get the other stupid JedI, so let's finish this." He hefted his blaster and remained where he was, adamantly glaring at Kirk.

"You're going to obey me."

"Or what?" James countered. "Shoot me?" He gave him a satisfactory smiled, "Good, then I can join my parents. Does that work for you?"

Kirk's hands shook. He was losing control, it was Tahiri's scream that broke their quarrel. James and Kirk both whipped their heads to face her.

"Tahiri?" Kirk inquired, his voice gentler now. James had also lost his edge. Tahiri sunk to the floor. Her face was streaked with tears, a wry almost tired expression on her face.

She lowered her gaze. "We can go now." She wiped her face. James tried to get a better look at her face to see what was wrong and Kirk was staring at her in silent understanding. He felt her anguish like it was his own because it was so heavy laden. Even James' expression was lost, he could see her shaking.

"He's gone." She blurted. "I tried to reach out to him and killed him. Just now he-" She pressed her hands onto the floor, now vibrating, then she broke down completlely. Kirk put a blanket around her and lifted her to her feet.

"It's okay, Tahiri. It's not your fault." He gestured to James. "Can you look after her? I have to get us out of here."

"Right." James nodded. He knew this wasn't the time to fight. "Come on, Tahiri." He supported her as they made their way to her bedroom on the ship. After a while, he left, thinking Tahiri might want to be alone.

She did. More than anything right now, Tahiri didn't want to talk to anyone. She lay back against her pillow, her face was dry now, her entire body felt numb. It was surreal. Suddenly a presence that had been with her, even if she couldn't reach his mind, was gone. A gap was there in the force, like she could step through it and come back to where she was, the air blowing through the hole and making a low moan. Right now she couldn't even manage a moan herself.

Tahiri could only think about how much she wanted to tell Anakin. More than anything, she wanted to tell him she'd never thought twice about his name, even when he told her what it was and what it meant to the rest of the world, she never cared. She'd only known Anakin Solo, so she couldn't judge her best friend by someone she didn't know, that would be unfair and not only that, she knew Anakin Solo to be the most warm hearted person she'd ever known.

That despite he'd thrown his father against a wall, she knew Anakin was still himself. He probably felt the pain of not being understood in terms of being the youngest of all the Solo siblings. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that she knew all of that about him. That she'd felt all those pains through their bond. Tahiri wanted to tell Anakin that he was never overshadowed by anyone to her. That he always stood out in every room, no matter who was there, the first person she noticed was Anakin.

"Why didn't I tell him?" She whispered before passing out from exhaustion.

Zekk sat watching the radar. He found it hard to be calm out in space, which was odd for him since he was usually unafraid of anything. But the Yuuzhan Vong made his skin crawl. Zekk had seen what they'd done to other Jedi, to innocent civilians and to the planets. Whole civilizations had been reduced to ashes and their inhabitants made into slaves.

Their delivery made things harder for Zekk to swallow. They had to deliver weapons and on top of that, protect the ship delivering them, lest the Yuuzhang Vong show up and Zekk knew they would. Danger and risk never evaded them for very long and if it did, it was only a precursor to something apocalyptic. Much like the time Zekk was captured by the Second Imperium and even though he never intended it at first, he slowly found himself destroying everything he had once held in his hands and as a result his palms would always be tainted. He started to drift as he heard a clacking noise from behind and turned his head slightly, though he didn't need to, he already knew who it was.

"I thought you could use some company." Jaina said, holding up two cups of coffee. She took the seat next to him and handed him one of the Styrofoam cups. He took it gratefully.

"Thanks." He gave her one of his fun loving smiles although he felt so much worse than that. This mission was anything but fun. He hadn't felt enjoyment since the whole Yuuzhan Vong war began, no, maybe even before that. The Yuuzhan Vong war only made feelings he'd been trying to keep at bay rise to the surface.

"You're awfully quiet." Jaina observed, taking a sip of her own coffee. Zekk shrugged.

"I'm just not in the mood to talk." He surprised himself by how honest he was when he was around Jaina. He could say certain things and sometimes he'd spill out everything at once when he really didn't feel like it. It was subconscious.

Jaina gave him a look that told him she knew he had a lot on his mind but wasn't going to ask. "Fine by me. I'm pretty tired." She sighed and then suddenly laughed.

"What?" He gave her a quizzical look.

"We always end up on one of these missions and every time we scrape by the most life threatening situations. I don't get how. We just have that kind of luck."

Zekk knew as well as she did that it wasn't luck. They were trained JedI and on top of that they always worked something out because they had quick thinking skills and they'd been running into trouble since they could breath. Zekk had grown up on the rough streets among other orphans and the Solo twins had always been tagged by threats of people wanting to destroy the stable Republic or just common assassins. Through their connections to Tenel-Ka, a Dathomir warrior and princess they faced an assassination attempt on several levels and had been kidnapped. Jacen, Tenel Ka and Lowbacca had even been pushed down one of the shoots at Cloud City and Jacen had narrowly escaped death when he lost his grip and fell past the pole where Lowbacca and Tenel Ka were hanging by being rescued from the sky. Jaina and Jacen were better friends than anyone could ask for, they made getting through tough situations easier because they knew how to rough it, despite their initial backgrounds as the prestigious children of Han and Leia Organa Solo.

"Well," He said instead, "We'd better hope that we get the same kind of luck now."

"Because we're going to need it." She finished his thought. He smiled at her. Suddenly as if on cue the radar beeped. He leaned forward and typed on the command board to bring up a enlarged image of the space where the radar was beeping.

Jacen and Tenel Ka came into the cockpit. Jacen scratched his head, he looked as though he'd been trying to sleep.

"What's going-" He looked at the radar, "Sith, it's the Vong and they're not coming in for a cup of tea."

"We will definitely need luck now." Jaina said. Zekk gritted his teeth, and swore to himself. They couldn't let the Vong capture the supply ship, or themselves for that matter. Jacen fingered his lightsaber.

"Looks like we're the ones throwing the party." He gave his friends a Solo grin, "Let's serve drinks." Jacen hoped that he wouldn't have to tell his friends that he too wasn't too sure about their odds this time around. They weren't in a place where escape was particularly easy or at least not without a severe price

Tahiri sat on the stone overlooking the water below, a nice spot in the Academy's expansive forest where she felt she could be alone. It worked too. No one came looking for her, she'd been out by the water for hours, thinking or just staring at the water.

They'd returned from their trip and Tahiri wandered off on her own to find herself at a small waterfall that no longer worked, so it was now a small place ideal for swimming near the temple where she and Anakin had once gone when they first met. They'd been searching for the place they'd both seen in the same dream. They'd bonded so well then, Anakin even managed to reach into her mind to pull her out of the river to save her life.

What made her so distant from Anakin now? She could have just told him that their friendship was really important. No, it was more than that. If it had really mattered, she'd have figured out that Anakin was upset and helped him. She'd have been able to stop his death from occurring. Anakin's death was her fault and she knew it. She'd let him down and wasn't there when he needed her most and that caused him to get killed. When they should have been conquering the galaxy's problems together, she was too busy arguing pointlessly and was too stubborn to speak her mind. She knew she talked a lot, that was a fact, but she didn't ever say what was consequential. She rubbed her forehead. _What an idiot I've been. Have I always been like this? _Another thought occurred to her, _Did Anakin realize all this time that I wasn't saying something and kept quiet about it? _She sighed and slumped on the rock she was sitting on, she drew her knees up to her chest. _She would never know what Anakin was thinking… and she would never be able to talk to him about her thoughts either. _

She turned abruptly as a crunch of rocks and twigs behind confirmed the presence she'd have sensed if she'd wanted to pay attention.

"Before you say anything. I wasn't following you. It's easy to notice one of the few people you know in a strange place when they're not there. Even a non- Jedi would notice." James came up behind her and sat down on another rock, leaning his clasped hands on his knee and dangled the other leg over the ledge. Tahiri half expected James to start to lecture her on how a Jedi should be able to handle grief or at least how stupid she was acting, but he didn't say anything. He just remained silent without asking or even paying attention to her.

Tahiri surprised herself by breaking the silence. "You never told me what happened to your parents."

He gave her a sidelong look that was almost a smile. "You never asked." He leaned back a little, "It was the Vong. I already knew that from the beginning. It was just hard to accept that no one was able to do anything. The Vong came and captured a lot of us, and it was the Peace Brigade who bargained to get me and some other kids out of there. So, I owe them. My parents though…" He sighed, "They died. Someone else who escaped later on said they were killed at some point. I wasn't there."

Tahiri averted her gaze. _Just like I wasn't with Anakin. _

"So, what's with the guilty look?" He asked. Tahiri shook her head.

"You wouldn't understand."

He fixed her with a look of skepticism as he arched his brow, "Try me."

She spoke slowly as though she felt any minute speed would shatter her mouth. "We've been friends since I first came to the Academy. After a long time, and going through everything anyone could possibly go through as Jedi, as family, and as best friends, I still wasn't there when he needed me. I wasn't there…" She suddenly felt herself realize what she had said, that she just wasn't a good enough friend, nowhere near as good to call herself Anakin's "best friend." Her shoulders shook and she trembled lightly and when small trickles slid down her face, she hid her face. "Why… why didn't I just say something to him?"

James gazed down at the water and the reflections that were cast in its body. Their own silhouettes and the moon as it shone through the trees. "You're lucky." Tahiri looked up at him. James' gray eyes were soft, but sad. He had a faraway gaze as he stared down at the water.

"A Jedi always gets a second chance. Because the force never abandons you, even if you abandon it." He pushed himself up and walked away. Tahiri continued to sit by the water until she wiped her face and started back to her room.


	8. The Price of a Heartbeat

Chapter 8

The Price of a Heartbeat

If there was a moment when it hurt to hear yourself think or even just to hear your own voice inside your head, then the moment had to be the one that a person went through when they had a scrape with death.

What had surprised Anakin more than anything wasn't that he was alive now, it was the creatures who had suddenly came down next to where he'd fallen after his tumble off the cliff in their angular ships that looked like serpents but thicker and wider, certainly shorter than a real serpent since these were ships. But for all visual purposes the ships were like flying serpents. So when the ship hovered next to Anakin and a strange creature that looked like a cross between a blue sea creature and a faun hopped next to him on the ledge below the cliff said "If you want to live, do as I say and then follow me to my ship the _Flying Serpent_," Anakin found himself not surprised at the ship's name but that the only thing he had to do was hold still while the creature put its webbed hand on Anakin's forehead and Anakin's mind went blank and started to hurt. Then he'd followed the creature onto the ship as it leveled with the small ledge.

Anakin found that he was lucky to have fallen on the ledge or that there was a ledge there at all. The fall had broken his wrist and possibly a rib or two, but other than that, Anakin felt he was glad to have fallen onto something solid instead of into the seemingly endless abyss below the ledge.

Once on the ship of the strange faun-like creatures he was brought to a medical room on board and examined.

The faun he'd met on the ledge came into the room and said, "You will be healed, Jedi. We have good medical supplies at our base. But you must trust us."

Anakin didn't think he had much of a choice, it was that or go back to the Yuuzhan Vong base where he was sure he'd be killed eventually if not immediately. He was in too much pain to say much of anything though. He had used the force to block out most of the pain but now it was returning because Anakin no longer had the strength to suppress it.

"I am Synthor." The Faun, that Anakin now knew as Synthor said without waiting for Anakin to ask any questions, "And we are a race called Sytars. We are usually aquatic but times have changed that situation for us."

Synthor wrung his hands together in what Anakin took as a meditative and thoughtful gesture. "To be sure, we are not in immediate danger since our species is quite far from any planet under siege but our water supplies are often on planets ravaged by the Yuuzhan Vong. We live both on land and water, so we need both." Synthor sighed, "Of course, we are not so selfish as to think this conflict would not include us if it were not for the supplies we need. We wish to end their regime. It is an insult to the water gods. They would poison the waters with their bodies that are so mutilated, their birth eggs are no longer decipherable."

The other Sytars nodded in agreement with Synthor's statement. Synthor's eyes widened in excitement as he spoke his next words to Anakin.

"Also, we have long known stories about the Jedi. They are honorable warriors and have been disgraced. We have been traveling to find out more able the Jedi and to join forces. When we came across this base, we intended to simply destroy what we could but it seemed more logical to rescue you as soon as we saw your lightsaber. A Jedi on our side could turn the war in the favor of those who rightfully live here." He smiled, "We are honored to have you here, friend JedI."

"I'm Anakin Solo." Anakin managed to say. Synthor bowed.

"An honor to meet one of the Solo family. We know of your parents and siblings. We have heard of your heroics as well. Most impressive. As soon as you have healed we must take the time to brief you on our race and how we wish to help the Jedi. Also we are going to take a long time to gather our forces at the base. Not all our race is at this one base. Until we are, we cannot leave for risk of revealing our location to the Yuuzhan Vong."

Anakin couldn't respond, one of the doctors had given him anesthetic and he fell asleep to the hum of the ship as it shot into hyper space.

Jacen sat across the table from his sister. They had managed to evade the Yuuzhan Vong by jumping ahead into hyperspace. It was a short get away but it gave the twins time to reflect, even if it was only for a short amount of time.

Their friends were long asleep, but they had decided to talk while the ship was in a brief jump. They'd both felt it. The gap was unmistakable. A place where their younger brother's presence should be.

"I don't know what happened." Jacen said finally.

Jaina sighed, "I don't either."

"Wasn't a friend of Uncle Luke's supposed to find him?"

Jaina gritted her teeth. "Yeah, but the Yuuzhan Vong probably got in the way." Nothing made her madder than to think her younger brother had been killed because the Yuuzhan Vong were brutal killers with no mercy.

"We'll probably get full details when we get back." Jacen pointed out, though he wasn't enthusiastic about it.

"I'm not sure I want to hear them." Jaina muttered, resting her head on her arms. He shared his sister's bitterness. Anakin's death had come suddenly in the middle of the night and they both came out of their rooms to see if they'd felt wrongly. It was correct because the empty feeling was mutual and they knew it was only a matter of time before their mother, Leia, called them to seek comfort in the tough tragedy.

"It's murder, that's what it is." Jacen suddenly snapped, pounding the table. Jaina looked over at her brother's sudden burst of anger. "He's our little brother. I don't care how old anyone else is, he's still young and those Vong bastards murdered him!" Jacen stood up and rested his head against the wall for a minute. "I'm going to bed."

"Night." Jaina said. Though she guessed neither of them would be getting any sleep that night. Jaina too returned to her room. She laid back on her bed, not bothering to pull back the blanket or sheets.

Anakin. The brother that had longed to go study at the Jedi Academy and loved puzzles. Anakin. The person that was quiet and reserved but more loving and caring than anyone else. He wanted more than anything to be seen as an adult and struggled to become a stronger person through his life. It was hard to believe that such a person wasn't able to live another day, that, like Jacen had said, he was murdered. Jaina blinked and rubbed her eyes. Anakin, the smiling blue eyed boy who embraced his name and made it clear he wasn't going to end up like his grandfather. If their father had only told Anakin that he too thought that Anakin was more than just a quiet kid, that he was "their kid," Jacen and Jaina's kid brother and the kid of Han and Leia. Their only youngest son.

Her door opened a crack as Zekk came in. She didn't get up as he came to sit on her bed. She didn't have to ask why he was there. Her emotions were probably spilling all over the place at the moment. Instead of saying anything consolatory, which was not really in Zekk's nature, he just sat with her. A strong support if Jaina needed it and she knew she did. But at the moment she just wanted to sit there. Zekk reached over and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, sending force vibes to let her know he was there, then got up. Jaina smiled at him and fell back onto the bed.

Jacen had fallen asleep but in ten minutes he was awake again, in a cold sweat. Anakin had come to him in his dream, silent and sad as ever, his words slow and labored. "Jacen, tell dad I'm sorry. Please. I can't tell him now." Jacen's eyes opened and he rubbed his face. He made his way to the bathroom and sprinkled water on his face.

As if to spite them, the alarm in the cockpit went off and Jacen ran in to see a Yuuzhan Vong fleet of coral skippers through the view port. His fury at them mounted as he threw himself down into the gunner's seat. This time he wasn't going to care how he killed them. As long as he did. _Murderers. _He thought and opened fire.

The Sytars did have excellent medical care. But Anakin could not have guessed that recovering from serious wounds could be so dull and boring. He had to lie in bed while they took tests and also while they removed the poison from his bloodstream with an antidote.

The antidote was what interested Anakin. Synthor had said it had come from an sea plant that was so far down that only Sytars, since they had gills, could reach. Anakin also learned that the hooves of the faun part of the Sytars turned into webbed feet for swimming as soon as they touched water. Anakin would have found this more interesting if he knew how long he'd have to recover and wait until he'd go back to his home.

The most perplexing part was why no one had tried to find or contact him. He was still alive and everyone would have felt it if he'd died, so why wasn't anyone trying to find him? Had he really hurt his family that much?

Anakin could not find anything less lonely than being in a camp where he was a Jedi who was respected and almost revered, but no one knew anything about his family or how he could contact them. He'd almost been afraid to ask. Any time he tried to reach out with his mind into the force, his head throbbed and he almost passed out from pain. It was strange because that had never happened before.

Anakin had also seen that the area where the Yuuzhan Vong leader had stabbed him was discolored despite that the antidote was administered. The doctor, Genthor, had told Anakin that this was unavoidable as the antidote did not remove the poison, it just neutralized it so it wasn't lethal. Anakin still felt pain in that area, something else that Genthor had said was a side effect. The antidote wasn't perfect, it only prevented death, not pain.

_Perfect for the Yuuzhan Vong_, Anakin thought. _They still get to torture me. _Nothing would have made Anakin happier than to see the leader of the Yuuzhan Vong killed, slowly and without mercy. The brute deserved it.

After a week of recovery, Anakin was still sore about what the Yuuzhan Vong leader had said. "You are not like the other Jedi… you have anger." That was made him strong? Anakin wasn't sure any more. In the past he would have denied the idea outright, immediately stating that he couldn't be strong if he kept on getting mad at anyone who got close to him. Yet when he fought the Yuuzhan Vong, hating them with every nerve in his body, he was strong enough to defeat the three warriors. He had the leader down and was going to kill him but something stopped him.

Anakin knew whatever it was that had stopped him must be his weakness. His hesitation to finish off the brutal Yuuzhan Vong who, despite that they were not the exact ones that had been at Serpindal, were still responsible for Chewbacca's death. They were the reason Anakin was in pain and wanting revenge. Before then, revenge never would have crossed his mind.

Anakin took a seat outside despite that the heat was coming down on him, and he'd probably get a sun burn like no other. At the moment, Anakin cared very little about what happened to him.

Even if the Sytars had brought him here and saved his life, Anakin still felt like an empty shell, a corpse with no feelings left and numbed pain. All the times he'd spent wandering around the Academy on Yavin 4 seemed far away. The jungle and its many paths winding through to the temple that they studied in and the temple where Anakin and Tahiri had freed the Massassi children from the Golden Globe.

Tahiri. Anakin's best friend in the entire galaxy. She probably hated him for running away and hurting his family. Anakin's face cracked a wry smile. _She should hate me_, Anakin thought, _I haven't really talked to her since I left to fight the Yuuzhan Vong. I only visited once and even then I only stayed a week_.

He had felt strange around her lately anyways. Maybe it was because they were apart so much they found very little to talk about. Tahiri filled the conversations with news but Anakin found he couldn't say anything, and it wasn't because he had nothing to say, he just didn't know if he could say it to Tahiri.

Anakin knew he wasn't the same person he was when he left the Academy last. He'd grown taller and his mind was more focused on the Yuuzhan Vong than the force. Nothing filled up his thoughts and gave him satisfaction than to come up with ideas to wipe the Yuuzhan Vong out of existence and the feeling that it was right even if these beings were part of the force, though they could not be felt, Anakin felt right in thinking their eradication would be no loss to anyone and it would give him peace of mind.

But that wouldn't solve the fact that Anakin couldn't face his best friend. If he did such a thing, he would never be able to face his best friend. It seemed like the only solution that made sense, though. He reminded himself grudgingly.

More than anything else, Anakin knew the idea of complete elimination in an instant, despite how relieving it would be for the galaxy, he couldn't forget who was the last person who had that power in his hands. In fact, it was impossible to forget that your grandfather was the one responsible for destroying the Jedi around the galaxy, killing them one by one until only the a few scattered were left. Anakin couldn't forget that he was named for the person who coldly allowed Grand Moff Tarkin to blow up his mother's home planet, Alderaan.

"I wish I'd never been born at all," Anakin said softly, a sad smile on his face, "That way, no one would have to worry about whether or not I became like my grandfather. My parents would have peace of mind." There wouldn't have to a second Vader who was responsible for wiping out the Yuuzhan Vong and because he couldn't stop, the rest of the galaxy. Maybe the only thing that needs to disappear is my own existence, Anakin thought. It's so small and when it's gone I don't need to keep thinking I really am Vader incarnate.

It seemed silly to think those kinds of thoughts, but Anakin knew there was truth in them. His mother had probably named him to try to take away the evil in his grandfather's history, but she had no idea that some part of Anakin admired his grandfather's will to do what he believed at the time was right. Just as Anakin now believed that the he should just go wipe out the Yuuzhan Vong. That hatred somehow felt like the right thing when it left someone who was already numb from pain, full of life.

A life that was revived to do the one thing Anakin did not want to do now: wait.


	9. The Delusion of Being Self Centered

Chapter 9

The Delusion of Being Self Centered

James wandered around the Academy. He didn't feel he had remotely any connection to what went on around the grounds or in the building. So he simply avoided everyone all together. Since no one knew much about him or seemed to want to know about him for that matter, they didn't bother trying to look for James, which suited him just fine.

He wouldn't know what to say to the Jedi here either. There was no possible way to tell them he'd come from the Peace Brigade and that his job had been to turn Jedi like those at the Academy over to the Yuuzhan Vong. Or to arrest supporters of the Jedi and their cause against the Yuuzhan Vong. James also didn't think they'd sympathize or want to understand that for the most part, the Peace Brigade was his surrogate family.

When his family had died because of a fight that went on between the Yuuzhan Vong and the Jedi plus their allies, James had found himself a prisoner of the Yuuzhan Vong. The Peace Brigade, using a Jedi as a value of trade, managed to free the survivors who'd been captured. The Yuuzhan Vong seemed happier to have the Jedi prisoners than normal humans and other sentient alien races. The majority of the prisoners where young teens like James, who had no family because of the battle that escalated so far that it came into their homes and caused casualties from the air attacks and the Yuuzhan Vong using the inhabitants as shields.

James' house had burned to the ground after a blast from a Yuuzhan Vong ship missed its Jedi target. He wanted that other ship to have been destroyed, instead, the blast hit his house and left it in ruins, and James, unable to remove his family from the smashed house's pieces, ran and was soon captured by the Yuuzhan Vong.

He still had the burns from the explosion too. On his back where a beam from his house fell and hit him. Luckily it pushed him forward rather than trapping him under him, otherwise he'd have been dead, James was told by the Peace Brigade when he relayed his story. James felt everything but lucky. His family was dead because of the so called "luck" he had.

The only ones who were lucky were the Jedi who seemed to get away with everything because someone else was dying in their place. There wasn't a single time when the JedI took a fall for someone else and it didn't cost the galaxy casualties. It wasn't even a fall at that point, it was just avoiding what was coming to them for their faults and mistakes.

James stopped just outside of the great temple. Through the doorway he could see Tahiri in her orange jumpsuit sitting up against a broken piece of stone. James made his way inside the temple and sat down next to her. Tahiri said nothing.

"I don't get you."

She turned her head slightly to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He scowled, "You're always so- so-"

"'So' what?"

"Forgivable." James slumped over and let out a groan of frustration. He had said it, he hated himself all over again for letting himself become a victim of another Jedi trick.

"Forgivable? Who up and made you into the ruler of the galaxy?" She snapped indignantly and smacked him on the side of his head. James rubbed his head.

"Because you're not like the other JedI."

"You mean I'm not responsible for the universe falling apart at its hinges?" She snorted, "Well I've got news for you, Pal, I don't really give a wampa's ass about you forgiving me or not. I'm perfectly capable of deciding whether I'm doing something right or not myself."

James' head turned briefly to the side, "Are you doing things right?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"You just said you knew."

"Shut up." She snapped at him. "You really annoy me, you know that?"

James smirked in a bemused way, "And why's that?"

"You won't shut up."

"You won't either." He grinned from ear to ear. Tahiri sat back, silent, as if to prove James wrong. She could feel her insides boiling.

"Why don't you just leave me alone okay?" She stood up, pacing around as she spat every word at James with intense distaste, "It's bad enough that everyone wants me to be the host of a pity party and invite everyone to send their condolences when I really just don't want to hear it any more! I don't care if your parents were killed by Jedi or if they were killed by Yuuzhan Vong, James, because you know what? They're dead! Like my parents, like Anakin, they're dead! And you blaming everyone unless it benefits you to be sympathetic to them, is sickening." Tahiri breathed heavily because she had yelled every word for the entire temple to hear, then ship scooped up her bag and ran out towards the Academy building, leaving James to sit up against the stone by himself.

For a while, Kirk had stood by the entrance, watching James, even after Tahiri had run past him. He'd gone to find Tahiri so that Master Ikrit could talk to her and overheard her yelling. It didn't take him long to find out where they were with the volume of Tahiri's voice.

"You handled that well," Kirk's voice dripped with sarcasm, "You should just leave her alone for now."

James stood up, his fists clenched, "I don't need to listen to you."

Kirk nodded, "No you don't, but you're being insensitive to Tahiri's feelings."

James rounded on Kirk, "Don't tell me what I'm doing wrong, okay? I know what's going on with her!"

Kirk frowned, "Do you? Just because you lost your parents you get to unlock all the doors to every problem in the galaxy and everyone should just listen to you?"

James froze and didn't face Kirk. "You're arrogant."

"I don't need anyone else telling me what I've done wrong."

Kirk's voice cracked like a whip, "Yes, you do. Because you don't understand what it's like to lose your best friend, it's nothing like losing your parents, which Tahiri has also lost," Kirk's eyes grilled into the back of James' neck, making him shift uncomfortably. "She's lost her family and now the closest semblance to her new family is gone too. I wouldn't ever presume to know what that must feel like because I know I'd be a jerk if I did."

James looked at Kirk. "Really? What do you know about loss?"

Kirk's face remained impassive. "Enough." He then exited the temple and for the second time, James had been lectured and then left alone.

Tenel Ka felt the ship shake, but more than anything what had woken her was the amount of violent feelings coming from Jacen. She got up quickly and threw on her clothes before heading at top speed to the cockpit where she found Jacen shooting wildly at the coral skippers appearing in the frontal viewport.

"Jacen, my friend." She said, "Why did you not tell us you were fighting, we could have helped-"

Jacen's eyes flared as he continued to focus on firing at the coral skippers, "I don't need your help."

His voice was cold and listless, something Tenel Ka had never heard from her friend, even at Jacen's worst moments, he was still light hearted and tried to be positive. Jacen had always strived for a way to connect to all the living part of the galaxy because animals were his specialty. But all of that seemed to have left Jacen's mind at the moment because his thoughts were only focused on the coral skippers and wiping them out one by one. A firm hand on his shoulder followed by a sharp pain brought Jacen's head around to look at Tenel Ka.

"You will not bring your brother back by fighting angrily, Jacen." Her granite colored eyes didn't waver as they stared Jacen down. Jacen said nothing.

"Do you really think that I would not want to help you?" Jacen's eyes went wide. That question surprised him. Tenel Ka wanted to help him destroy the Yuuzhan Vong? A minute ago she was berating him then she was offering to help him?

"You want to help me get revenge?"

"No, Jacen, I want as badly as you do to end this war. But it will not do us any good to do it rashly."

Jacen snorted, "You sound like my uncle."

"At least one of us does. Right now I do not even think I can say you're Jacen Solo."

Jacen scowled more deeply, "What?" His voice became icy.

Tenel Ka could feel his anger but didn't step away. "I want to help you, Jacen, but we should do this the right way. With the force and without anger."

"Easy for you to say, you've never been angry."

Tenel Ka's expression became strained, Jacen's words had hurt her but she wasn't going to give up on trying to get her friend out of his grief. "I have been angry." Her voice was now sharp and had a slight edge, "I am angry because the person I see right now is selfishly seeking revenge."

Jacen's eyes softened a little, her words had finally sunk in. Though somehow he'd already known what he was doing was pointless and ultimately self destructive. He'd let himself be driven by his own pain and his own embittered emotions, and like Tenel Ka had said, he'd been selfish. Anakin wasn't the reason he'd pushed Tenel Ka away, Anakin was just an excuse.

Jacen couldn't look at Tenel Ka now. If anything he wanted her to hit him. He deserved it. He deserved any harsh words she had to offer. His normal self would never had said what he had, and no matter how frustrated he was at his younger brother, he would never use Anakin as an excuse to be destructive.

"I'm sorry." Jacen said, getting up, passing Tenel Ka without looking at her. "I want to be alone." He went to his room and closed the door behind him.

Tahiri found herself once again at the waterfall near the Massassi temple. Despite the long walk, she felt refreshed and a lot calmer once she got there. After blowing up in James' face, she felt she couldn't look at anyone in the Academy without thinking about what she'd said to him. Or rather, screamed at him so everyone could hear.

It was honest, though. That was the worst part. She had meant every word she had yelled at him. That no matter how much either one of them tried to blame someone else they wouldn't bring back their lost friends or family. That she didn't want any more sympathy or understanding from anyone. She just didn't know what she wanted. At the moment, all she wanted was to sit and space out. It was better than trying to cope with what would eventually be a fact for her. Tahiri just didn't want to deal with it, no matter how alone and pathetic it would make her seem, she didn't care.

Tahiri's force sense pricked and she flipped her head around to see a fluffy white creature walking slowly towards her.

"I sent Master Dekim to find you, but it seems that I should have looked myself." Ikrit said as he hopped up onto the stone next to Tahiri's.

"I really don't feel like talking, Master Ikrit." Tahiri told her Master. She felt it was best to be honest with him since he knew better than anyone else what her bond to Anakin had meant.

"Then we shall just sit." The JedI Master replied in his wistful voice. He closed his eyes and began to meditate. Tahiri picked up a stone and skimmed it. Ikrit opened one eye to watch her but said nothing. He was good at making anyone around him relax, no matter where they were or what had been going on in their lives. Maybe that was what a true Jedi Master had the power to do, to simply be near a person and let them relax their tension away.

"Master Ikrit." Tahiri hugged her knees.

"Are we speaking now?" He raised an eyebrow at his student. She had to smile at that.

"Does it go away?"

The Master opened his eyes completely now. "What?" He asked even though he knew what Tahiri was asking already. She had to find it out for herself what she was struggling with, the questions that would lead her to the next step in life, and in the force. Eventually of course.

"The pain and how much I miss him." She looked at her teacher as he once again closed his eyes in thought. Then he reopened them.

"No, it does not. But I think you will find that in itself has a purpose."

"To make things hurt?" She asked sarcastically.

Master Ikrit seemed unfazed by her sarcasm or obviously bitterness towards his comment.

"Somewhat. It is not so much that it makes you hurt as the hurt reminds you why we are Jedi. So we can prevent for however long is possible the same pain for others. Then our own hurt shows us that we cannot forget the part of the force that is gone. That we have the ability to bond. We will always remember the things we lose, Tahiri, but not always the things that are not ours to lose." Master Ikrit stood up and then started away.

"Master Ikrit, wasn't there something you wanted to talk to me about?" She called after him.

He smiled at her, "It seems my student has already begun to talk to herself about it." He replied then went through the jungle and disappeared as was usual of the Master. Tahiri got up and started back to the Academy, this time she decided she'd only come back here if she wanted to go swimming.


	10. Obtaining Understanding

Chapter 10

Obtaining Understanding

"We can't give you clearance to land." The small voice of the docking bay official said. "Bespin is not allowed to let anyone enter while the Yuuzhan Vong are attacking. I'm sorry."

Jaina's patience was wearing out. They'd been trying to gain entrance for ten minutes now and the really irritating part was that they were the ones who had the weapons to give the military of Bespin reinforcements.

"Look, we've got a cargo ship to deliver weapons you guys ordered and we're not taking it back with us, so why don't you just take it and save us both some trouble?" Jaina's voice was now on the verge of snapping. Zekk was the only one who seemed to find the whole situation amusing because he suddenly started to laugh.

Jaina glared at him and Zekk shrugged innocently. " What? You're handling it beautifully."

"You shut up." She turned back to the comlink, "Listen, we're coming down there whether you like it or not, so get ready." Jaina signed off and clipped her lightsaber to her belt.

"Let's go." She snapped and strode past Tenel Ka and Zekk, who shrugged at the Dathomirian warrior girl. Tenel Ka said nothing.

The ship came down to the nearest landing pad and as soon as they came down, ten soldiers ran to the ship and aimed their guns at the ramp. Jaina strode without hesitation down the ramp without stopping.

"Ma'am, you can't just come through here." One of the soldiers said, holding up his gloved hand.

"Watch me." Jaina waved a blaster in his face and the soldier stepped back Then a hearty laugh came from the door of Cloud City's base. Lando Calrissian approached with his assistant, Lybot.

"You're just like your mother, Jaina, a lot of spunk and fearlessness." He held out his hand and the only one who shook it was Tenel Ka. Jacen remained in the background.

"What's the matter? You're all so quiet." Lando observed, looking from Jacen to Jaina. "I've never seen such low energy in all of you before."

Jaina glanced back at her brother who was looking worse for wear, he was barely able to keep his eyes open since he'd spent so much time fighting the Yuuzhan Vong and no time sleeping. Tenel Ka was also more serious and friendly than usual. Even though being friendly was something she did formally, right now she wasn't making the effort. Only Zekk seemed to be in somewhat of an upbeat mood.

"We had a loss." Jaina said, she wasn't going to go into detail. Lando nodded, his expression soft and empathetic.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He didn't want to press since it seemed like everyone was taking this loss, whoever it was, hard. "Well, let's see the supplies you brought. Because if our patrol radars are correct, the Yuuzhan Vong should be right behind you."

Kirk shifted slightly to the right to twist two of the wires together that he had been trying for the past hour to fix. His deep concentration was the reason he didn't notice when someone had entered his ship and was standing directly behind him.

"Need a hand, Kirk?"

Kirk muttered a stream of curses as he twisted the wires the wrong way and a spark made him drop what he was doing.

"Blazing biths, Kam, can't a guy get any work done around here?" Kirk said, wiping his hands on his coveralls. Then he clapped Kam on the back.

"It's good to see you're doing alright." Kirk smiled and went to wash his hands in the sink in his ship's bathroom. "So what brings you to my ship?"

Although Kirk couldn't see it, Kam's face contorted but Kirk, being a Jedi could feel Kam's strain.

"It's Tahiri, isn't it?" Kirk asked. Kam nodded, rubbing his temples.

"You can imagine how Tionne feels about Tahiri being so quiet and spending her free time by herself. She even missed a class today."

"Which one?"

"I- what?" Kam gave his old friend a perplexed look.

"Which class?"

"Force in relation to mathematics, I think." Kam still remained confused. Kirk nodded.

"I would have skipped that class too."

"Kirk." Kam groaned. Kirk laughed. He handed Kam a beer can and popped open his own beer, taking a swig.

"Don't worry about Tahiri. She'll work it out." Kirk knew he probably sounded more confident than he actually was about Tahiri moving on. People, especially younger children and teens, tended to take longer to move on because deaths weren't as common early in life unless your life was that of a Jedi, even then it was difficult when the person who died was closer to you than family.

"I didn't know that you still drank." Kam took a sip of his own beer and glanced sideways at Kirk.

"Well, I decided since I'm a scoundrel now I'd better not be sober."

"That's a strange reason." Kam rolled his eyes.

"To each his own." Kirk replied with a shrug. "Cheers." He held out his can and clinked it against Kam's. The two sat for while, exchanging occasional comments about the quality of the beer, Kirk's ship, then Kam broke in with his prominent question.

"What do you think Tahiri needs?" Kam asked.

"You think I would know?" Kirk seemed surprised that anyone would want to consult him on anything.

"You're good at these kinds of things. I haven't been a father very long, Kirk."

"Mmm," Kirk sipped his beer thoughtfully. "You want my advice?"

"Yes."

"Treat it like a hangover." Kam nearly choked on his beer.

"What?!" Kam coughed and turned red.

"It takes time, there's not much you can do until it goes away. Even then your head still feels as heavy as a Death- Star. But in the end, you're not drunk any more and you're level headed again."

"Now I get why you said that. But it's still strange."

"You don't have to use logical analogies." Kirk said, downing the rest of his beer. "As long as you get your point across you can compare Yoda to a Yuuzhan Vong for all that matters."

Kirk had his own way of making people understand him and seeing his own way of handling tough situations. At the end of the day, he was really the go to person for advice, which is why Kirk was a Jedi Master. He'd left as a Knight and became a master over a long period of time because he'd trained for so long. Kam often wondered what kept Kirk going all those years since the young Jedi Master had never really bonded or connected with anyone, no Jedi, nobody. The last time they'd seen each other was at Kirk's father's funeral. Kam had told Kirk that he was welcome to stay at their house but Kirk refused. At the time he had another place to go, but now Kam knew as well as anyone that Kirk was completely alone with his ship as his living quarters if one could actually call it that.

"Are you staying here?"

Kirk crumpled his can and tossed it into the trash. "Not very long if Luke's going to keep giving me missions."

"We could use your help, Kirk." Kam pointed out. Kirk took a towel and wiped the dirt off his face.

"I'm going to shower. I'll see you, Kam. Tell Tionne I said hello." Then Kirk was gone into the bathroom on his ship. Kam stood up and threw out his beer. He hadn't drunk much of it. He'd only taken the beer because Kirk offered it. If anyone knew why Kirk was drinking again, it was either Kam or Luke Skywalker and Kam wasn't entirely sure where to begin analyzing the friend he hadn't seen in a decade or for that matter, finding out what was bothering him.

Kam wondered how many times Kirk thought about his past, and whether it was a good idea to slip out of the lives of all his friends at the Academy and then show up only to go back to being the kind of person he'd been before he left: an avid drinker and often overly upbeat or a good friend to talk to, other times he was just a solitary person who didn't go anywhere except his ship. Kam couldn't remember the last time Kirk had really smiled or laughed. Now it was more out of habit than anything else, and Kam would know.

Kam only hoped that Kirk wouldn't lose himself by following the same path of grief he'd gone down ten years ago. Even a strong Jedi Master like Kirk was no match for the pain of memories.

Once again, James found it amazing how quickly he could get into a fight with just about anyone around the Academy. It seemed like everyone had a fuse just waiting to explode. That he managed to set even the most calm people off made him think that he had a strange knack for pissing off Jedi, who were supposed to be the most composed of all kinds of warriors. A talent that had earned him a direct punch in the face from one of the other students that he'd pointed out had bad sparring skills with a lightsaber. James considered himself lucky to have gotten a fist and not the lightsaber itself.

His eye was now black and blue. Maybe the student didn't have any lightsaber skills, but he could pack a punch. James didn't want to explain why he had gotten punched to Cilghal, the doctor at the Academy, so he decided to just ride out the pain at least until he got to the waterfall he'd seen Tahiri at a few times. He climbed down the rocks and splashed the cold water on his sore face.

"That's not going to help, you know."

James turned to see Tahiri watching him from above with her arms folded across her chest. James wondered if that was a standard position for her to assume when talking to someone or it was just because she didn't like him very much.

"Really? I'd like to see you try to treat this."

"It might help if you sucked in your pride and apologized then you could get an ice pack from Cilghal."

James wiped his face with the towel he'd borrowed from his room. "No thanks."

Tahiri shrugged, "Suit yourself. When your face swells up like a balloon I'll be the first person to laugh at you."

"Much appreciated." James muttered. He wasn't really sure why whenever they were around each other, they could only talk in arguments. Did she talk to everyone like that or was it just him? He had a feeling was the latter. Because Tahiri certainly seemed to be on good terms with Kirk, Luke Skywalker, and a lot of other people and races at the Academy but she didn't seem to feel the need to get along with James. Though James knew had something to do with that, he wasn't going to admit it.

Tahiri hopped down the rocks and held out her hand, "Here, give me the towel." James obliged and watched as she soaked the small towel in the water. She wrung the water out and handed him the wet towel.

"Put it on your face." She commanded and then sat down, dipping her feet in the water, kicking them across the surface. James sat down and pressed the towel to his face, noticing how nice and cool it felt against his eye, which burned from the swelling.

"It's better." He said quietly, "Thanks."

She didn't look at him but replied flatly, "You're welcome."

James knew he'd been a jerk earlier as Kirk and Tahiri had verbally slapped him across the face with the fact. Still, he didn't see why he had to apologize when Tahiri was the one who had yelled at him.

"You can talk to me, you know." Tahiri looked at him seriously.

"So you can yell at me again?" He snorted, "I think I'll pass."

Tahiri shrugged wordlessly. She started to play with the water, sprinkling the droplets over her toes. There was nothing that felt better and cooler on a hot day than cold water. Except maybe swimming, which she did not feel much like doing at the moment.

"Look, I'm sorry I was insensitive earlier."

She raised an eyebrow, turning her head to glance at him before going back to sprinkling water on her toes. "Guilty conscience?"

"No, Kirk." James grumbled. Tahiri laughed and kicked water at James.

"Lighten up. He's probably right, you know."

"He was defending you, so of course you'd side with him." James said bitterly.

Tahiri swung her legs back and forth. "Do you think that was the only reason?"

"I don't know." James replied. Which was true. He really didn't know what Kirk Dekim's real intentions were behind telling him about not assuming that you could understand everyone's loss just because you'd lost someone yourself in certain situations. Then he sighed.

"Tahiri, what happened to your parents?" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Tahiri didn't look at him.

"I told you, they died."

"I know, I heard. I mean, how did they die?" James couldn't look at her, which was fine since Tahiri wasn't looking at him either. She tossed a stone into the water.

"Tusken Raiders killed them."

"Oh." Was all James managed to say. He felt stupid. Because his parents weren't the only ones who were probably killed in a brutal way.

To his surprise, Tahiri continued, "They were killed because they had taken in an injured Tusken Raider whose tribe was still looking for him. They thought their friend was in danger so they killed my parents. Then the Tusken Raider who had been taken in by my parents decided to adopt me into the tribe." She fingered the necklace around her neck where the stones with her parents' prints and Sliven's prints hung. She didn't want to look at James now because the memory of seeing her parents killed and then of Sliven protecting her brought up old scars, old memories of when she and Anakin had gone to Tatooine to complete the quest in order to find out how her parents died.

She didn't want to go down that path again. Not right now. Yet she'd told James the story and he wasn't saying anything. He probably pitied her.

Instead he said, "I can see why you're so tough all the time." She could tell it wasn't an insult or compliment, merely an observation. "Raised by Tusken Raiders, you're probably pretty familiar with the desert."

"Yeah, it's my second home." Tahiri's mind suddenly stopped on that thought. Tatooine. That was where she'd felt at home before coming to the Academy, that was where she could get away from everyone here at the Academy and think clearly. Tahiri knew that was what she had to do. She had to go to the first home she'd ever known.


	11. When Moving on Becomes Disloyal

Chapter 11

When Moving on Becomes Disloyal

"I'm going to Tatooine." Tahiri voiced out loud without remembering that James was still sitting there next to her.

"Tatooine? What for?" James could not help but gawk at her. One minute she was talking about her parents then she was talking about going to Tatooine.

"I want to return to my home." Tahiri replied, though not really to James, it was more of a self affirmation.

"Wait, back up, go home? Tahiri, don't you have parents here?"

She shook her head. "No, my real parents are dead, James, I just told you that."

"Still, they've raised you these past few years, right?" He felt this really wasn't any of his business but something about her suddenly leaving her parents, even if they were only her adoptive parents, seemed wrong. "Don't you think they'd miss you?"

Tahiri shrugged, "I can't stand it here much longer though."

"Why? Because you can't move on?"

Tahiri's face became flushed, "Didn't you learn anything about being sensitive?"

"You're overly sensitive! Anything anyone says about moving on or even trying to make some kind of progress is wrong to you." James felt himself getting desperate for some reason. He didn't usually let himself become desperate, it put him at the mercy of whoever was in power to make the desperation fade. He hated depending on others.

"Yeah, what do you care?"

James frowned, "I care a lot. You may not think much of it, but I was there when your friend died, okay? You get it? There's nothing we can do about it. You said so yourself."

"I didn't mean it like that." She said defensively. James regarded her carefully before coming up with a response.

"Then what did you mean?" His voice had an edge now, "That I'm the one who has to move on, but you can keep moping around?"

Tahiri stood up, "I'm not moping!" She prodded him with her fingers. James stood up himself and stepped forward then without realizing he had done so, pushed Tahiri close enough to the edge of the rocks that Tahiri lost her balance and fell into the water.

"Tahiri!" He jumped in after her, thinking this time he might have actually hurt her. He swam over to where she'd come up and grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Hey are you-" He got a large amount of water splashed in his face. "I'm trying to help."

"I can swim you know. I may have spent most of my life in the desert but I learned how to swim from Anakin." His name came out without her noticing it and suddenly she fell silent. Again Anakin's name came up in her thoughts. That was really why she wanted to go to Tatooine, because everything she did at the Academy reminded her of Anakin and disallowed her from moving on because she had to move her life beyond what her childhood had been with Anakin.

"You don't have forget about him, you know." James said, bobbing next her. His dark hair was plastered against his forehead and for the first time he actually sounded normal. There was no bitterness or desire to fight with Tahiri in his tone. His gray eyes watched her. "It's probably better if you don't."

Tahiri laughed a little, "That's what Master Ikrit said."

"Who?" James was now confused. He'd met just about every teacher so far but not a single one was named Ikrit.

"Oh, you'll see him around. He's kind of hard to miss." Which was true enough. Despite his size, Master Ikrit, when he wanted to be known to someone, could make himself quite apparent. He was also the type who went to find others and not the other way around.

"He's the one who helped Anakin and I-" Tahiri stopped herself once again. She couldn't talk about Anakin, she couldn't. The thing she wanted least of all was to admit that Anakin was part of the past and that she wasn't going to see him any more. She wanted to see his boyish face again, his smooth and soft brown hair, and those icy blue eyes that made Anakin look like his mother.

"Tahiri, really, it's okay. You can talk about him all you need to." James said, reaching over to place a hand on her shoulder.

"I can't." She blurted. James then dove under the water for a moment and then came back up and splashed Tahiri. She glared at him then with a glint in her eyes splashed him back. James smirked.

"Okay, let's see you dodge this!" He scrambled out of the water then jumped cannonball style into the water, soaking whatever was still dry on Tahiri, which was just the top of her head.

"Okay, that's it!" She swam after him and pulled James into a headlock and pushed his face halfway into the water.

"Surrender?" She asked, grinning at James.

"Nope," he picked her up, surprising Tahiri with his strength and dropping her into the water beside him then began casually swimming the backstroke. Tahiri came up and pulled him under and as they came up, a furry white creature was sitting at the top of the rocks, watching them.

"Oh, Master Ikrit." Tahiri said and James let go. "James, this is Master Ikrit."

"Um, nice to meet you." James waved his hand, unsure of how to greet the furry creature that Tahiri had just informed him was a Jedi Master.

"You two seemed like you were having fun." Ikrit observed with a smile. He cast a glance at Tahiri who was getting out. "Though I must inform you that Master Skywalker wishes to talk to both of you."

James pulled himself onto the rocks, dripping wet, and pushing his wet hair out of his face. "Both of us?"

Ikrit nodded. "Best go get dried off." He nodded to James who ran off. Tahiri picked up the towel he'd forgotten. Ikrit's voice stalled her in mid-step.

"You seemed to be happier today." He walked over so that he was in front of Tahiri rather than behind her. "A smile or two can't break your mouth."

She felt her heart sink into her stomach, "I think it just did." She could not help but feel guilty because deep down she felt she should rightfully dislike James. But for some reason that wasn't how she felt. Just now he'd been so nice to her, instead of saying she should move on, he said she could talk to him about Anakin.

"Oh?" The Jedi Master flicked his tail. "I am not so sure you are right. After all, just now I think you were able to have a decent time at the Academy for the first time in a week."

Had it only been that short of a time since Anakin had died and already she was enjoying herself without him. Suddenly she felt sick. There was no way she could possibly enjoy herself so quickly without there being something wrong with her. Did she really not care that much about Anakin? Because right now she felt as though she'd insulted his memory by having fun so soon after his death. Anakin should hate her now.

"I'm going to get dried off." She told Master Ikrit. The Master nodded and watched her go inside, shaking his head. It was hard sometimes to explain to a student that enjoying life while one was still alive, was not an insult to those who have passed on. It was normal but could feel so wrong. Ikrit sniffed the air. He would have to watch over his students, like always, this time though, a closer eye on Tahiri and James. Perhaps James would help Tahiri to truly heal, Ikrit thought. We shall see.

Anakin listened to Synthor as he briefed them on their most recent findings on a scouting mission. The Sytar had a brisk and business like tone so it was sometimes hard to take interest in what he was saying, especially since Anakin figured he would not be taking part in the newest excursion. He was but one week into recovery and despite that most of his wounds were healed, he was still in a considerable amount of pain.

"Therefore, we must strike immediately or risk this planet being overtaken by the Yuuzhan Vong. There will be a strike force going out tomorrow morning." Synthor then turned to Anakin, "The force will be lead by our Jedi friend, Anakin Solo."

Anakin felt his stomach tense into knots. What was Synthor thinking? Anakin knew he wasn't in any condition to do anything, let alone lead a strike team on a mission. He zoned out as Synthor gave the rest of the details. When Synthor was finished Anakin approached Synthor.

"What was that about?" Anakin asked, his voice serious.

"A mission." Synthor replied in his simple way. Sometimes Anakin really hated how straight forward Sytars, and in particular this Sytar, were.

"I know, but you know that I'm not in any condition to lead a strike team, I'm still injured."

"I thought you might be bored." Synthor looked at him, "Such a long time in recovery can make a creature crazy."

Anakin had to admit the Sytar had a point but he still had his reservations. His boredom was not enough to make him take unnecessary risks. Anakin would have felt more inclined to participate if he was doing the mission with his friends or family back on Coruscant and Yavin 4 but this was different.

"We are rescuing your fellow Jedi. Is that not of an appeal to you, Anakin Solo?"

"I want to but I think my injuries will slow everyone down."

"You are not in any danger. Your body is healed as far as it needs to be. We have seen to it that your broken bones are healed. Our medical methods are the best because it is all we know. We have no experience with fighting."

Anakin's eyes went wide. _You've got to be kidding me. That's why they want my help? They can't fight on their own? _Anakin felt his reservations go up several levels. This was not good. If the Sytars couldn't fight, how could they expect to fight the Yuuzhan Vong?

"Wait, how did you defeat them before?"

"We used our fleets. We are builders and healers. It turned out that our armor deflects Yuuzhan Vong attacks well enough that we needed no skills."

Anakin groaned. _So it was dumb luck. Great. _He could see just how badly things were going to go if he left the Sytars to try their luck again. He would have to lead them. Even if that meant he might get them killed because he still felt at only half his full strength.

"Ten minutes approaching time!" One of the soldiers in Lando's control room on Cloud City said. Lando went onto the loud speaker.

"Attention all residents, please evacuate to the nearest shelter. The Yuuzhan Vong are approaching, I repeat, evacuate to the nearest shelter. All soldiers to their posts!" Lando clicked off the loudspeaker and turned to the group of Jedi behind him.

"I hope you guys are ready for a fight." Lando rubbed his chin, "Because we're sure going to get one."

Jacen, Jaina, Zekk, and Tenel Ka followed a group of soldiers to the front docking bay of Cloud City, where Lando said the Yuuzhan Vong were sure to let their warriors unload. Lando's lack of confidence in his air defense was troubling but couldn't be helped. Jaina pulled out her lightsaber followed by the rest of their group. The soldiers knelt down behind them, ready to fire the moment the Yuuzhan Vong arrived.

It wasn't long because a patrol ship exploded and then coral skippers followed by a carrier came out of the clouds. The carrier lowered itself to be level with the docking bay and its ramp went down, unloading hundreds of Yuuzhan Vong warriors. Jaina ignited her lightsaber and charged the warriors down. The soldiers opened fire, taking down a warrior per five blasts to their armor.

Zekk ignited his own lightsaber and stabbed a warrior in the armpit, the place he knew was their weakest point. The warrior shouted something at him and swung its staff to strike Zekk on his shoulder. He grimaced then cut the Yuuzhan Vong's head off.

Jacen was in the thick of the warriors, cutting down the warriors with his blade, slicing into their armpits then striking them at an upward angle to blind them before stabbing them. One after the other, the warriors fell until the warriors stepping out of the ship were more scarred and had thicker armor. One of the higher warriors came after Jacen at a run, yelling in its native tongue, Jacen dodged an attack from another warrior and went to meet the higher warrior.

He stabbed up towards the armpit but the warrior stepped nimbly to the side. It laughed and then brought its staff back and caught Jacen in his side. He jumped back only to be struck by the warrior he had dodged before in the back.

"Jacen!" Tenel Ka rushed over, her blade clearing a path to her friend. Jacen was holding his side with one hand while fighting the two warriors at the same time. Tenel Ka reached him and cut down the lower ranked warrior before standing with Jacen to face the higher warrior.

She stood her ground, watching the warrior's every movement, when he struck out, parried and then struck the warrior in his blind spot. The warrior struck out at Jacen who blocked the blow then stabbed the warrior's armpit. Before either of them could strike again, a blast from above blew up the side of the carrier, sending all the warriors and Jedi sprawling.

Jaina looked up to see ships arriving from the skies, it only took her a moment to recognize the symbols of the wookies from Kashyyk. The ships fired again and took down more warriors. Jaina gave a whoop and with a refreshed attitude went after the Yuuzhan Vong.

Tenel Ka supported Jacen as they watched the wookie warships raining lasers down on the Yuuzhan Vong warriors and their ships. A ship landed and a wookie with a dark patch over his eye leapt onto the platform, lightsaber in hand, followed by other wookies with bows.

The wookie growled a greeting as he ran over.

"Lowie!" Jacen called and watched as his friend cut down down a warrior with his lightsaber's bronze colored blade. Jacen pulled away from Tenel Ka and took down another warrior.

"I'm not finished yet." He flashed a Solo grin at the warriors then charged forward with Lowie not far behind.


	12. Resemblance

Chapter 12

Resemblance

_Go to the mirror. Look at it. Do you see it? No? It's there, that mark, that uncanny mark that connects you. Ha, you already threw your father against the wall, isn't that enough to prove to yourself that you're a lost cause? Your friends think you're dead. It's been a week, who could remember your face, unless it's mine? _A cold mask, dead and hollow filled by a man half alive because he was burned. That's not who I look like. Anakin Solo gazed into the mirror, the voice he had heard in his sleep had woken him up and he found himself at the mirror in the bathroom. _It's in the mirror. Look, boy, why don' t you just make it easier on everyone, just kill yourself. _Anakin smashed the mirror with his fist, blood trickled down his knuckles. _I'll kill the Yuuzhan Vong. _Anakin's voice now matched the one in his head. _Don't forget, you can't do that if you're going to regret it._

"Who said anything about regret?" Anakin snapped at his reflection. "I want them dead."

"Anakin-Sarka?" Synthor came into the bathroom. "What are you doing awake? The ship will not be landing for a few hours."

Sarka was the honorific the Sytars used to designate someone they respected or who was not close enough in relation to be familiar with. Anakin's hands gripped the side of the sink. "I'm fine, I just need to by myself."

Synthor nodded and exited. Anakin stared at the mirror, the place where Anakin's hand had punched it was bloody and had a shattered glass circle in the center. He placed his hand on the spot then dropped it to his side. Despite how angry he got, he couldn't erase what he had heard in his own mind. Anakin knew better than to distrust his own mind. It had been the voices in his head that had saved the Massassi children trapped in the Golden Globe.

But if the voices were telling him to just end his own life, could he simply just stop trusting himself?

Anakin made his way back to his room, not bothering to bandage his bloodied hand. It dripped on the floor, leaving a trail. As he reached his door, Anakin felt his mind become blank. Why had he felt so no presences in the force of late. It was strange. He had to know why this was happening. Anakin stood up and left his room, heading for Synthor's door. He knocked on the door.

It opened, revealing a tired Synthor with his eyes barely open. "Anakin-Sarka, what brings you here, I thought you were going to sleep? And your hand-"

"Don't bother about that." Anakin's voice dropped to a low cold level. "Synthor, why can't I feel anything in the force?"

Synthor's eyes narrowed, "So you've noticed. Then there is no point in hiding it. When you agreed to come with us, I placed my hand on your forehead to remove your force presence. I had to, or others would find our location."

Anakin felt himself growing heated, "You took me out of the force?"

"Or we would be found, you agreed." Synthor pointed out but at that moment Anakin had stopped listening to anything but the heat rising inside of him. He stretched out his hand and with a force shove sent Synthor against the wall. Anakin approached Sythor who was sitting limp against the wall.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to not be able to contact anyone you know?" He snarled. "Well?" Anakin didn't wait for an answer and lifted Synthor up by his neck. The strength of Anakin's hands couldn't do anything but Anakin felt the force around him and started to press it against Synthor's neck. The Sytar choked and tried to say something.

Hearing the commotion, Sytar guards came down the hall, and fired at Anakin, who absentmindedly stretched out his hand and used the force to block the lasers. They murmured to themselves. Anakin grinned for a moment then felt the pain in his hand. He dropped Synthor and looked around him. Synthor rubbed his neck and stood up, warily watching Anakin, who wasn't moving.

He was shocked. Appalled at his own actions. He had done what Vader had to his fellow soldiers, crushing their windpipes with the force and deflecting blasts. Anakin had done that just now and would have killed Synthor if it hadn't been for his hand. Anakin glanced down. His hand? The one that had punched the mirror had stopped him. The pain. Anakin looked at Synthor.

"I'm sorry. I've acted out of myself." Anakin quickly went down the hall to his room and closed the door,locking it. He took out his lightsaber and turned it on.

He heard a banging on his door followed by Synthor's voice, "Anakin, it's all right, we know it wasn't you who did this. You are not a violent type."

Anakin remembered the voice. He brought the glowing blade over his abdomen then stabbed inwards. The last thing Anakin remembered was his own voice screaming as the door was broken down.

Their victory was short lived, because as soon as the wookies arrived, a new fleet of Yuuzhan Vong dropped out of the clouds, unloading a new wave of warriors. Jacen groaned.

"Why can't they just admit defeat for a change?" He asked, more to himself than to anyone else.

Tenel Ka replied "Because they are unafraid and determined."

"It was a rhetorical question, Tenel Ka." Jacen pointed out.

"That is a fact." She said and stood ready to attack the next carrier's warriors as they swarmed the platform.

"Tenel Ka, see if you can't push them close to the edge!" Jacen called, "We can make them lose their balance."

"A good plan," She agreed and started fighting by pushing her opponents closer to the edges of the platform. Jacen did the same, though more slowly because of his wounds.

The Yuuzhan Vong swarmed the platform, more and more coming out of the ships by the minute. Soon all the docking bay platforms were covered in Yuuzhan Vong who vastly outnumbered the Jedi and their allies. Lando's soldiers opened fire once more on the Yuuzhan Vong, downing a few more warriors but their staffs reaped destruction on them as the warriors charged down the platforms, killing all in their paths.

Jacen cursed as he knocked another Yuuzhan Vong warrior over the edge. Their plan had worked, but it wasn't enough to get rid of the other hundreds of Yuuzhan Vong on the other platforms or those that were still coming out of their ships.

The corral skippers in the sky had blown up several of the wookie ships despite their efforts to relieve the Jedi on foot. Lowie let out a roar and threw one of his warrior opponents over the edge.

"Okay, maybe we should just let Lowie take care of them." Jacen mused to himself. Tenel Ka brought her blade down on another Yuuzhan Vong warrior and when it doubled over from the blood coming from the side of its face, she kicked it over the ledge.

"Tenel Ka, you should play soccer!" Jacen called to her. She didn't laugh out loud, as was usual of the warrior girl. But inside she was smiling. Jacen had returned to his normal self, he was joking around and making light of their situation. Though it was worrisome and not even remotely humorous how dire their fight really was.

Jaina and Zekk had teamed up with Lowie to block the doors to Cloud City's base. Many of the guards lay on the ground, slain from the Yuuzhan Vong's first wave. Jaina weaved among the warriors, slicing up and down alternatively then in a full arc managed to slice the legs out from under two warriors. They still wriggled and tried to get at her but Jaina ignored them, even though the idea of a severed body that wouldn't give up and die, made her skin crawl.

Zekk force shoved five Yuuzhan Vong over the edge and then decapitated another who had tried to stab him from behind. Zekk was still unsure of how he felt about his abilities as a Jedi because his strengths were rooted in dark methods, methods that required him to hate his opponents. Zekk did hate the Yuuzhan Vong but he still couldn't help wanting to spare a life or two if he could because he knew he'd done enough damage to the world as it stood now. He'd almost been responsible for bringing about a second empire. Zekk coolly ran another warrior through with his lightsaber and as he pulled the blade out, turned in time to see a larger and almost unrecognizably scarred warrior behind him bringing its staff down. Zekk jumped to the side and then charged his new opponent. This was what he'd wanted to do. Not delivery some goods, he wanted to fight the Yuuzhan Vong with their own techniques.

Zekk grinned and parried each blow aimed at him. He slipped under the warrior's open side and struck at the warrior's unprotected skull. Despite the hole in its head, the warrior swung wildly around. Zekk dodged each time and the staff, which was so big it could have been a club, smashed another unsuspecting warrior. Zekk then moved forward and cut the warrior's left arm off. The warrior roared and swung at Zekk with its staff, Zekk leapt backwards then went back in to finish the warrior with a force shove. The warrior, being heavier than the others, toppled backwards and knocked another warrior off the ledge as it fell through the sky.

Zekk wiped the Yuuzhan Vong blood from his face, turning away from the warrior he'd just killed. The only way to fight them was to be like them, even if that meant merciless killing.

Tahiri came into Master Skywalker's office to find James was already there. His hair was still wet and flattened against his head. She made a mental note to make sure the next time they had a water fight to have ten towels instead of just one.

"Well, now that you're both here and I'm sure you have a good explanation as to why you're all wet." Luke raised an eyebrow at them and Tahiri turned beat red. "I can explain your new assignment." He reached onto his desk and pulled out a file, "I want you both to go to Coruscant on an information gathering mission. No fighting unless necessary. You're going be gathering data on the amount of underground Jedi there are, who they are, and give them the message that they can come here for shelter and that we're willing to fight."

"Just the two of us?" James asked, a little stunned that the Jedi Master would entrust a mission of that caliber to two teenagers.

"Who said you were going alone. The nerve, eh, Luke?" Kirk said as he walked into the room.

"Would it kill you to be punctual, Kirk?" Luke asked, his head in his hand as he massaged his forehead.

"Probably and I'm not sure I want to try." Kirk came over to Tahiri and James. "So, you two ready to get going?"

"Hold on, Kirk. I have to give you the list of places you're going to first." Luke's stern voice cut into Kirk's actions and he sighed.

"Alright." He stood by as Luke repeated what he'd said to James and Tahiri. Then he handed Kirk a thick packet.

"All of these?"

"There are a lot of Jedi missing or in hiding. We're looking for the ones that might still be around. This is important, Kirk."

Kirk blew a long sigh, "Well, since I'm still here, I might as well humor you a little longer." He rubbed the hair on the back of his head and hefted the packet. "Well, let's go before Master Skywalker decides to add another packet to this one." Kirk pushed James and Tahiri out of the office with a wink at his old Master.

Luke rubbed his temples. "I must be getting old. My students have more energy than I do. To think Kirk's the one humoring me." Luke smiled and laughed to himself.

On board Kirk's ship _Wild Fox_, Tahiri settled into her room while James polished his blaster. She wasn't sure she was happy about going on a mission with the two other people on board the ship since the last time she had, someone important had died. But it wasn't like she had any choice since she gave Master Skywalker her word. Tahiri knew that she'd want to go back to Tatooine as soon as she returned to Yavin 4 at the end of their mission.

Kirk leafed through the files on the Jedi they were going to be looking for and he blinked twice as he looked at one of the names. He couldn't believe his eyes. There was no possible way that he had to go find that Jedi.

James noticed Kirk's intense expression and came over to see the name he was looking at. On the page it said "Claus Neros." The profile went on about Claus' constant raids on Peace Brigade bases and how he'd rallied many other ruffians and rogue Jedi to attack the Peace Brigade for their crimes against the Jedi.

"Self righteous bastard." Kirk muttered. But the fact was that Claus had a good idea of who was in the right in this situation. The Jedi were the ones who were actually trying to help the galaxy but what really worried Kirk was that James probably would not get along with Claus and Claus would never get along with James. How did this mission end up with two of the most polar opposite people.

James was most certainly not the most open minded of people, he only started to get along with Tahiri and Kirk but still bitterly resented the Jedi as a whole. Claus was always very proud of being a Jedi and believed that anyone who thought the Jedi were in the wrong, were the real enemies. That meant James was his enemy and Claus was not one to easily change his mind about anyone.


	13. Breaking Point

Chapter 13

Breaking Point

Anakin couldn't tell whether it was because he was in so much pain or because of the events that had occurred but he saw a silvery figure sitting in the back of his room.

"Hello." The figure said. Anakin found himself looking at a young teenager not much older than himself with short straight blonde brown hair and an old Jedi robe.

"It's been a while since I last visited any one of the planets. Though I'm surprised that it's you that I'm here to see." The figure looked at Anakin. "You've taken the wrong step forward."

Anakin stared at the figure. "You're Anakin Skywalker."

"Yes." Anakin Skywalker said, though he did not sound very pleased by the fact. Anakin Solo understood perfectly. After all, he shared the same name and fate.

"You are mistaken, Anakin." Anakin Skywalker said, watching his grandson.

"About what?" Anakin Solo asked.

"You have no reason to think you are like me. Because you have lost nothing."

"I let Chewbacca get killed." Anakin retorted frostily.

"You saved what was possible to save."

"Now you're the one who's crazy." Anakin Solo glared at the figure who didn't flinch or even move at all for that matter.

"You can always return, Anakin. Your name does not prevent you from being with those you care about."

Anakin shook his head. "I don't want to be with them. They don't deserve to be with someone who tries to kill everyone who does something wrong to him."

"What you are obsessed with is the inhumane side of me." Anakin Skywalker went on as though he had not heard his grandson's ranting. "The spirit of the person you see before you is human. So are you, Anakin. If that is what you choose to be. Right now part of you wishes to be more than that."

"I just don't want to be the reason everyone is afraid."

Anakin Skywalker inclined his head slightly. "Are you afraid?"

"Yes." Anakin heard himself say, though for the first time he realized he'd been the one who was afraid.

"You will find that if you are afraid, the whole world seems to be a frightening experience." Anakin Skywalker gazed off into the darkness of the room, not quite looking at his grandson. "What is it you fear?"

"Becoming you."

"Then embrace your fear."

"But that's the dark side."

"If you do not face your fear it will conquer you."

Anakin snorted, "That's easy for you to say, you're dead. You were Darth Vader, how can you lecture me on how to deal with fear?"

"I lost all that I cared about, Anakin. It is quite easy to forget what is right when you put your fears of loss first."

"Even if that loss is yourself?"

"Yes." Anakin Skywalker waved his hand and another figure appeared in the room. A gray haired man in JedI robes stepped in, his old and aged body lined with wrinkles but he still seemed youthful in his own way.

"Hello, Anakin." The new figure said. "You are more grown up than I thought. It seems Luke has done his work well."

"Thanks, Master Obi-Wan." Anakin lowered his head respectfully to the elderly Jedi. Obi-Wan nodded.

"It is easy to forget that you are able to make mistakes and be human when you are a Jedi."

"It is better to be flawed than to destroy yourself trying to be the ideal Jedi." Anakin Skywalker added. Both of the figures looked intently at Anakin Solo. He was sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest.

"What should I do?" Anakin asked after a few minutes.

"Break whatever role you are trying to play." Obi-Wan said. "Do not confuse yourself with Anakin Skywalker, because no matter what, he will never be you and you will never be him."

Anakin shook his head. It wasn't that easy. They didn't understand. He'd tried to kill Synthor. He didn't deserve a second chance. He had given up. Anakin had decided he wasn't going to come back this time. He was going to leave because it was too painful.

"You cannot run from fear." Both figures said in unison.

"Stop lecturing me!" Anakin screamed. He clamped his hands over his ears. "You don't know what it's like to not want to kill someone but something inside you just does it for you."

"I do know." Anakin Skywalker said, suddenly his form shifted into an older Anakin Skywalker. "I killed Padme. Then later Obi-Wan."

"You cannot expect yourself to follow the same path when it is not where you are meant to go."

"Don't tell me where I'm supposed to go. I've already decided I'm not going back. I don't want to be alive any more. Just leave me alone!" Anakin hid his face in his covers and when he looked up both Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan were gone. Then Anakin let out a loud wail.

Synthor pulled the blade out of Anakin's abdomen. "Anakin!" He cried, but Anakin was already unconscious, his face pale as snow and shaking. "He's going into shock!"

Synthor wrapped a bandage over Anakin's now open and bleeding chest. "Get him to the med-center. We can't go on the mission now. He needs to be treated at Tatooine." Synthor helped lift Anakin onto a stretcher to be carried into the med-center.

"Don't worry, Anakin Solo, I shall not let you die." Synthor said as he gripped the handles of the stretcher tightly in his hands.

Zekk whirled around and found himself face to face with another warrior. This time it was one with thicker armor and it spoke basic, "You, Jeedai, will come with us." The warrior signaled to the other warriors and they surrounded Zekk.

"Don't resist, we will kill you, Jeedai. You are valuable."

"If I'm valuable then why do you think it's okay to kill me?" Zekk knew he had to break away, he wasn't going to let these Yuuzhan Vong kill him or take him captive. He'd been captive of the Second Imperium and that was enough torture for his entire lifetime.

"Then you're just going to have to take me down," Zekk snarled back and raised his lightsaber to deflect any blows. The leader yelled something in Yuuzhan Vong and the others charged Zekk, who sidestepped them and cut the legs out from under two warriors before attacking the others in quick succession. He sliced an arm off and got struck in his side. He cringed but kept fighting. He had to defeat them. There was no choice. Zekk stabbed through the abdomen of one of the warriors, yanked his blade out and then crumpled as the leader struck him over the head with his staff.

"Take him." The leader ordered and the warriors dragged the unconscious Zekk to their carrier. Jaina turned just to see them getting into their ship. She let out a yell and pushed through hundreds of warriors, slicing limbs left and right to try to get to the carrier but the carrier door closed and lifted off. Two more remained but Jaina's energy had taken a dive.

"Jaina, look out!" Jacen cried and rushed over to his sister as a warrior stabbed forward with his staff, Jacen's back took the blow and he collapsed. Jaina stood up and readied her lightsaber to defend her brother. More of Lando's soldiers came running down through the doors and opened fire on the remainder of the Yuuzhan Vong.

Tenel Ka had seen Jaina almost get hit. She would not let her friends die, any of them. It was unacceptable. She pushed another warrior over the ledge then heard Jacen's yell. She turned briefly to see him stabbed through the back and Jaina jumping up to take down the warrior. Tenel Ka had to hurry. They needed her help. She reached out with the force and shoved several warriors off balance and then sliced their legs out from under them.

She ran, cutting down all the enemies in her path, using her strength as a Dathomir warrior, clean, flawless movements like a dance with her lightsaber. As she neared Jaina she looked around. Zekk was nowhere to be found.

"Jaina, where is Zekk?"

Jacen replied for his sister, "They took him." Jacen gritted his teeth. Tenel Ka's focus went to Jacen's wound in his back. It was a deep wound and if they didn't treat it soon it would become infected. Another Yuuzhan Vong warrior came towards Tenel Ka and she brought her lightsaber up in defense and cut the warrior in the arm but it didn't step down.

The warrior roared and struck down without stop on Tenel Ka's lightsaber, which was taking all the blows. More warriors arrived and joined the fray. Tenel Ka renewed her efforts to fight them off. She struck once, twice and then stabbed the heavy set warrior through the chest. She breathed heavily, the armor kept getting thicker with each new wave of reinforcements. How did they know Jedi were going to be here?

Her thoughts drifted and then she felt a sharp pain in her arm. A warrior had broken away from the new reinforcements and attacked her from behind.

"Attacking from behind is cowardly." She stated coolly to the warrior and struck it right on its head, slicing the skull in half, the bone now visible as the warrior's limp body fell to the platform. She kicked it away from her with disgust and examined her arm. A deep cut was bleeding. This was not good. She still had her mechanical arm but it wasn't as quick as her biological arm. She went at the warriors again and out of the corner of her eye she could see Jaina struggling to defend Jacen. Tenel Ka left off trying to stop the incoming warriors and started to go over to help her friends.

Another pain seared through her, this time she looked at her shoulder. It had a staff protruding from it. She tried striking out but couldn't move because of the staff. Then she went limp as a strange looking bug was placed on her back. Two warriors caught her limp form and the one who had stabbed her pulled his staff out.

Jacen jumped up despite his numerous wounds. "Tenel Ka!" He half limped and half ran towards her, slashing down anyone who was in his path. "Tenel Ka!!" He screamed and ran so hard he felt like his legs would break out from under him.

He drove hard through the masses of warriors, force pushing them into each other's staffs and decapitating any that didn't go down. The ship's doors were beginning to close and Jacen sped up, ignoring all the warriors who now struck at his undefended body.

"Jacen, stop!" Jaina fought her way towards her brother with Lowie close behind her. The two cleared a path, stabbing and slashing aside warriors.

But Jacen didn't stop. He kept fighting and cutting down every warrior in sight and then his body gave out as the ship lifted off and the remaining warriors were taken down by blaster fire as the wookie warriors and Lando's troops arrived from clearing the other platforms of enemies.

Lando himself came over to the young JedI. He looked around. "Not bad. Where're Tenel Ka and Zekk?"

"They're gone." Jaina said, now holding Jacen's battered unconscious form in her arms. Lowie let out a low mournful roar. Lando's face fell. If there had been any joy from driving the enemy away, it was drowning out by Lowie's wail and the sound of Jaina's strangled sobs. They didn't even know where the Yuuzhan Vong were taking their friends if the Yuuzhan Vong even intended to keep them alive.

A solemn walk back to the main base with Jacen on a stretcher filled the cloudy skies with silence and the occasional sounds of the wookie ships fighting off the remaining coral skippers, lasers streaking the skies.

Synthor rethought his original orders. Even without Anakin they had to finish their mission. That was a promise they had made to their gods and to themselves to accomplish. It was important to get the help of the Jedi and to save any prisoners. Anakin would have to be treated on board.

"Turn around." Sythor commanded as he strode into the cockpit. The other Sytars turned around to face their Captain.

" Captain Synthor?" One of the Sytars looked questioningly at his leader.

"Do it. We will rescue the Jedi for the sake of this galaxy. This is our world too. The gods have spoken to me." Synthor's loud and confident voice received hands in a praying position as the Sytars lowered their heads, the saluting gesture of the Sytar race.

"Yes, sir!" The Sytars all said in unison and the ship whirled around, heading for the Yuuzhan Vong base the Sytars had discovered some time ago on Belkadan. Synthor was sure that if he could manage a successful rescue, he could help turn the war around.

One rescue at a time would destroy the Yuuzhan Vong once and for all. Of that Synthor was sure. Without leverage, the Yuuzhan Vong would have no way to bargain. The way would be clear for complete annihilation of the Yuuzhan Vong race.


	14. Into the Dark Spaces

Chapter 14

Into the Dark Spaces

Zekk tossed a stone against the wall with his hand. He had managed to loosen the "handcuffs" the Yuuzhan Vong put on his wrists because he rammed the creature that made the cuffs against the edge of the rock he'd thrown. Tenel Ka sat against the wall not far from Zekk, silent and sober.

"Jacen's going to be fine." Zekk said. Even though he didn't have a close bond with the warrior girl he still knew where her thoughts probably were because he had a similar mindset.

Zekk wanted to know if Jaina had managed to survive the fight without being captured as well. If she was, he wouldn't be able to help her. He knew she was okay at least, because he'd have felt it if she wasn't.

"I am not worried." Tenel Ka stated. Zekk glanced over at her. Even though it was obvious to himself and to Jaina, and he'd thought it was obvious to Tenel Ka, but apparently Jacen and Tenel Ka had not yet accepted the possibility of being in a relationship. The idea of their denial made Zekk laugh though not very hard because his head still hurt from where the Yuuzhan Vong had hit him to knock him out.

"What is so funny?" Tenel Ka narrowed her eyes at Zekk.

"Nothing." He shrugged. She scowled at him, her granite colored eyes fixing Zekk with a cold stare.

"You are a horrible liar."

"So are you." He arched an eyebrow, "So why don't we both fess up? We've got nothing but time and we're not getting out of here any time soon."

"You don't know that." Tenel Ka pointed out. In essence, Tenel Ka was right, they didn't know if they were or weren't getting out. But Zekk knew it wasn't going to be any time soon.

"It'll be a while before we get an opportunity." He countered, jerking his head towards the door where two warriors stood outside.

Tenel Ka sighed, she had to admit Zekk was right. "This," She said reluctantly, "Is a fact."

Zekk stretched his legs out. "So let's talk a little."

"I have nothing to say." She closed her eyes and began to meditate, closing out the pain in her head.

Zekk didn't believe her for one minute. While Tenel Ka usually told the truth, it made it ten times more obvious when she was lying. Though he didn't really mind since he wasn't the one Tenel Ka should be talking to about the subject and he wasn't one to lecture because he hadn't said anything to Jaina in recent months that was of much value.

"Kinda cold in here. You'd think they'd want to keep a prisoner alive, right?" Zekk commented. Tenel Ka continued meditating. Of all the people Zekk got captured with he had to be with Tenel Ka who rarely relaxed or took a joke. Even when it was Jacen who told it.

Zekk settled into his own meditative trance. He wasn't as good at being calm as Tenel Ka but he knew that it was probably best that he at least try to meditate because it was only a matter of time before the Yuuzhan Vong guards returned to take them for more "tests." Sickos, Zekk cursed. Nothing in his mind seemed more logical than to feed the creatures some of their own medicine and not in a low dose. But his friends would never agree to it. Zekk wasn't satisfied with the lack of effort on the part of the JedI to fight the Yuuzhan Vong. No matter how much they did, it was always not enough. At least not in Zekk's mind. He knew that Master Skywalker was more of a gradual and peaceful person and would never resort to mass violence.

Zekk found himself frustrated as the only one who wanted to just raid every single Yuuzhan Vong base and not leave a single one of the villains alive. What would Jaina think of him? Zekk wasn't sure what Jaina thought at the moment but he still regretted having been the reason the Academy was attacked and left in ruins. If she thought him a completely evil person and still wanted to keep her distance, Zekk wouldn't blame her for thinking that about him. He deserved it. Every time he thought about someone else disturbing what the Jedi had built for themselves, he became irritated. Nothing mattered more to him than making sure that what happened to the Academy during the Second Imperium's attack never repeated itself. If that meant he had to become a mass killer to rid the galaxy of the Yuuzhan Vong, then so be it.

At the end of the day, Zekk wasn't doing it because he hated them, he just didn't want anyone at the Academy to be hurt again. He was a Jedi too, so he was responsible. A Jedi always was.

The door to the cell clanged open and two guards stepped in. Zekk grimaced.

"Looks like the welcoming committee is here."

"Come with us, Jeedai." The guards ordered Zekk and hurled him to his feet, leaving Tenel Ka alone in the cell.

"We're here." Kirk walked down the dark street and stood at the entrance to an alley. James and Tahiri glanced down the alley and exchanged looks of misgiving.

"Are you sure you have the directions right?" James asked for what felt like the third time that day. They had been down several different streets, all very isolated, dirty, and run down. Kirk seemed to want to conserve some of his pride because he didn't relinquish the job of finding Claus' location.

"Look," James said, holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture, "Why don't we each split up. He's a JedI, he's bound to be around here somewhere. We can search and if we find him, we'll call each other on our comlinks."

"What about you?" Tahiri asked, "You can't sense people through the force."

"I've got experience searching for people, trust me. I did enough of that with the Peace Brigade."

"Don't mention that to Claus if you do find him." Kirk warned and tossed the map to his students.

"I've got the force, you can have the map." Tahiri told James who grunted his consent, albeit grudgingly. The three split up, James taking the left street and following the map's directions. Tahiri took the right street, following her sense through the force and Kirk made his way down the center street, heading straight out of the alley.

Tahiri walked slowly so she didn't miss any presences in the force. It was hard because there didn't seem to be anyone around period. She sighed, her misty breath coming out in tiny clouds. Being so low on Coruscant was colder than she thought it would be. Tahiri kept going, glancing around and reaching out with the force at every corner. After ten minutes there was still nothing.

She then felt a twitch in the back of her mind and whirled around, "James-" She found herself face to face with not James but a tall man around twenty with piercing all over his ears and a large scar down his face running into his neck. His dark clothing and the shadows of the streets hid his face, but she could see red paint on the side of his face that wasn't scarred. He had black gloves on and walked with a loose stride that reminded Tahiri of a giraffe.

"What's a girl like you doing down here?" The man's cool voice asked. His red brown eyes watched her unwaveringly. Tahiri felt herself shiver inside but didn't outwardly show it.

"Don't mess with me." She snapped. Her hand went to her lightsaber then she realized it wasn't there.

"Nice weapon you've got here." The man grinned, as he crouched on top of a trash can, examining her lightsaber. "Could get a good price with the Peace Brigade." Tahiri's mind raced. This guy was a pick-pocket and a pawn seller. Tahiri's insides seethed with anger that the Peace Brigade would accept sales from a person like him. Normally it was a crime but apparently the Peace Brigade didn't care about that.

"You a Jedi?" The man looked over at her, an almost childish excitement in his eyes. He leapt down and came closer to her. His breath smelled of liquor and faintly of smoke. The man kept coming and Tahiri used the force to push the man against the wall then broke into a run.

The man followed behind her, leaping from roof to roof, he was nimble and quick. He dropped in front of her and grabbed her arm before pushing her against a wall. He played with a lock of her hair and Tahiri couldn't move. The man had a firm grip on her arm. He leaned forward, pressing himself closer to Tahiri who turned her head away as much as possible. She searched her head for something the force could do to get rid of this guy but she didn't know how far away Kirk was and James couldn't feel her through the force.

She felt stupid for being so helpless. For letting this guy steal her lightsaber. That she couldn't defend herself without it. Tahiri kicked the man but he didn't move an inch. She punched his with her free arm but he grabbed it. Then leaned closer. Tahiri sent signals of distress through her mind, though she knew that only Kirk would be able to feel them.

A blur of motion came to the side of the man and he was on the ground, blood trickling from a gash in his head. She lost all feeling in her legs and dropped to the ground. Tahiri saw a hand reaching over and it pulled her to her feet. She looked up into James' face.

"Are you okay?" He held her lightsaber in his hand. She nodded slowly, still staring at the man on the ground. James kicked him to make sure he wasn't going to get up. He didn't. His eyes came around to look at Tahiri.

"How come he had your lightsaber?" He handed it back to her and she fumbled to click it back into her belt. He reached over and clipped it for her.

"He stole it while I wasn't paying attention. I can't believe I didn't sense him."

"You should use your street smarts here, not the force." James said, glancing around. "We should go find Kirk." He walked with her back the way she had come and past the alley where they turned to walk up the street Kirk had taken.

James looked over at Tahiri, "Are you sure you're okay?" His gray eyes were serious and genuinely concerned. Tahiri shook her head wordlessly.

"Slimy hutt." James spat on the ground as though spitting on the man. "It's creeps like him who give the Peace Brigade a bad name."

"They don't all do sales?" Tahiri asked, managing to find her voice.

James shook his head. "Not the group I was with. We only did supply runs and exchanges."

"Of prisoners." Tahiri added pointedly.

"Yeah… but I'd never do anything like that." He added in a hushed voice. James didn't say anything else for a while. He honestly wasn't proud of the fact that his surrogate family had traded Jedi for his life but he was grateful to be alive and had them to thank for it. What else could he have done? Staying in the Yuuzhan Vong slave camps wasn't an option, no more than continually stabbing yourself until you bled to death. It wasn't worth living in a place like that. You were better off dead.

"How did you find me?" Tahiri's thoughts suddenly jumped to how James had found her in the midst of all those alleyways and at the right moment too. It was too coincidental that he happened to find her right then.

"Gut feeling, I guess. I just followed my instincts and then I found you." He kicked a rock absentmindedly. Tahiri was still perplexed. It was still too strange that James had managed to find her, especially when there were a million streets to go down in Coruscant. He also wasn't going in the same direction she was. But she decided to leave it at that.

"Thanks." She said, smiling at him for what seemed like the first time since she'd first met him.

" Um, you're welcome." He awkwardly rubbed the back of his head and continued to focus his attention on the streets around them. Kirk then appeared around the corner.

"Tahiri, are you okay? I felt that you were in trouble."

"Can't you see she's fine?" James said, exasperatedly. Tahiri felt gratitude towards James for not telling Kirk what happened.

"Oh, I must've felt something else." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, let's stick together, I feel like I've got a lead now." Kirk lead the way down the street and reached out with the force to guide him back to where he was before.

Tahiri and James followed behind Kirk, both felt somewhat guilty not telling Kirk about Tahiri's encounter with the street thug but in the end it didn't matter. Tahiri felt better walking beside James than walking alone like she was before. It was a strange feeling and she pushed it aside as Kirk stopped at a small building that had boarded up windows, had peeling black paint and a sign that said "Raven's Lodge." Kirk gestured for James and Tahiri to follow him. They opened the door and as soon as they entered, someone fired a blaster at the wall near the door.

"Oh, sorry about that." Said the only man in the room standing with his blaster out. He shoved it back into his belt next to a metallic cylinder. He had a frightening appearance despite how soft and friendly his voice sounded. He had an eye patch over his right eye and short wavy brown hair that didn't go past his ears and stuck close to his head. He had sharp golden colored eyes and a clean cut beard. He had brown gloves on his hands and was wearing a red vest over his black shirt. On the bar was a brown robe that Tahiri knew belonged to a Jedi. It was probably Claus' since the man seemed like he loved to flaunt his status as a Jedi rather than hide it. Many wouldn't feel the same because of the Peace Brigade but Claus looked for the Peace Brigade to get annoyed and attack because that gave him an excuse to kill members of the Peace Brigade. Tahiri figured this because of the packet profile on Claus and because she felt his intense passion against the Peace Brigade emanating from him.

"Claus." Kirk nodded to the man. Tahiri found herself unsurprised by the man's appearance. He certainly looked the part of a man who did not take loyalty lightly. Those around him also had lightsabers or blasters or both. Their vests were the same as Claus', red with a small symbol of a silver lightsaber etched into the front.

"Kirk Dekim." Claus replied as though amusing himself by saying Kirk's name. He came over to Kirk, his sharp eyes burning into Kirk's. "What can the Silver Blade Squad do for you?"


	15. Trust and Distrust

Chapter 15

Trust and Distrust

Tenel Ka hated waiting. Even though she was the kind of person who thought things through and plotted out her actions logically, she still hated waiting when it meant she was doing nothing.

She kept glancing at the door of the cell. It was hard to tell time from the inside of the cell but she knew Zekk had been gone for at least an hour. Her lack of connection to him disallowed herself from feeling his pain or even sending comforting messages through the force. All those options were not possible because she didn't communicate with her friends as well as she could have.

Finally the door opened and Zekk was dropped inside the cell and the darkness closed in on them again with a clang. He didn't move an inch and for a second Tenel Ka thought the had killed him. Fearing the worst she came over and turned Zekk over. His right eye was swollen shut and he looked up at her with his one good eye.

"They did something to numb my entire body. I can't move anything."

"Then do not try. If you cannot feel anything, you might injure yourself if you move."

"I'll take your word for that. I don't feel like moving anyways." He lay on the cold floor while Tenel Ka sat a few feet away, once again meditating.

"I think I know how to get out of here."

Her eyes opened to fix themselves on Zekk, who wasn't turning his head, so he was forced to stare up at the ceiling.

"What do you think we should do?" She asked. Tenel Ka herself wasn't entirely sure if they could get out of the base without being killed or recaptured. The amount of security around the base was tight and they didn't even have a ship. But sitting and doing nothing wasn't an option, that much she knew. Somehow they had to at least make it partway out of the base, then maybe they could get a message out to Jacen, Jaina, or Lowie through the force. Inside the base where the force could hardly be felt, Tenel Ka doubted their friends could sense either herself or Zekk.

"I think the warriors have a shift of some kind. I noticed when they took me out that they were switching the warriors around."

"But how can we see when the shift begins and ends? We cannot sense them or see them behind the door." Tenel Ka chided herself inside for having so many reservations. If Zekk had a plan, she had to trust him. He used the force too, they had to trust each other. Even if Zekk was not the most reliable and responsible of all of Tenel Ka's friends, Jaina and Jacen believed Zekk was capable of handling himself. Why else would Master Skywalker have let him return to the Academy to train. It wasn't as though she didn't think Zekk was on the light side of the force now. It was that she didn't think he would use his best judgment if the situation became one where they were fighting to escape.

She had seen Zekk's expression when they were at Cloud City, he was enjoying killing the warriors.

"So I think we can manage to slip out. I can hear their footsteps. We have to get them to come in here somehow." He paused, thinking. How could they get the Yuuzhan Vong warriors to come in without raising suspicion and keeping the door open long enough for them to get out. There was also the issue of weapons. Without their lightsabers or even blasters, they were sitting ducks.

"We'll have to steal their staffs." Zekk said.

"Pardon?" Tenel Ka stared at him incredulously. Even if the guards did come in, with their hands still bound they had no way of fighting the warriors for their staffs, let alone fighting them period. "I do not think we can fight them, friend Zekk."

"Then what do you suggest?" He retorted. "We're stuck here and I haven't heard you suggest anything else."

Tenel Ka thought for a moment. "This is a fact. I have not suggested another plan."

"Then we'll do my plan." Zekk decided with finality and pushed himself into a sitting position. "I'm not wasting my time in a Vong prison for the rest of my life."

"We still have no way to fight them." She pointed out.

Zekk grinned and showed her his hands, they were free of the cuffs. "You forget who you're talking to. I know how to break out of any prison. The Sith had tougher cuffs than this." At that moment the door clanged open and several feet filed into the room.

Claus poured drinks for all of them. Water for Tahiri and James because Kirk refused to let him give the students alcohol. Kirk himself had drunk underage when he was their age but then again he hadn't exactly been the most ideal teenager or student for that matter.

Kirk downed his beer and leaned on the table as Claus spoke, "So let me get this straight, you want me to ally with Luke Skywalker and fight the Vong?"

"In a nutshell, yeah." Kirk answered evenly. "But you know it's not Luke himself making the request."

"For all Jedi, right?" Claus chugged his beer from his mug and continued, "I don't buy the whole 'leader of the Jedi' act he puts on. He's not the master of us all, though we all know he wants to be."

"You're as skilled at rallying Jedi around you as he is. Luke knows that."

"So he's finally coming down to our level, eh?" Claus chuckled, drinking more of his beer, "He's humble, I'll give him that."

Claus put the mug down and looked seriously at Kirk. "What about you, Kirk? You don't seriously want to wag your tail at Luke Skywalker the rest of your life, do you?" He glanced over at the two students. "He might even make you baby-sit his Jedi brats."

"I'm not worried about that. I can leave whenever I want to." Kirk replied, his eyes frosty. "I don't like the idea of fighting in a group any more than you do, Claus. There's no one group governing the Jedi anymore."

"Amen." Claus raised his mug and downed the rest of his beer. He scrutinized Kirk for a few minutes, scratching his chin. "Well, I don't think I need to tell you that if I even so much as sense Luke trying to draw us into his program or whatever he's got, we're out."

"I don't think he will." Kirk's fashioned a bemused smile. Luke Skywalker was not going to try to make Claus Neros, a man who didn't mind killing anyone if it meant destroying the Peace Brigade or the Yuuzhan Vong, into a teacher or a role model of any kind. Kirk figured Luke was going to just let Claus go after they fought against the Yuuzhan Vong.

"We'll fight. If it's for the Jedi, I promise that we'll stick it through." He pointed a finger at Kirk, "But I'm not fighting for Luke Skywalker. That straight?"

Kirk nodded. "Straight on." Kirk replied, the old code he had with his friend for being understood. He stood up and headed towards the door, James and Tahiri at his heels.

"Kirk." Claus leaned back in his chair, his arms folded. Kirk turned around.

"You should really settle down. Traveling doesn't suit a bloke like you."

"Pirating doesn't suit you." Kirk replied and exited the bar. Claus chuckled as the door closed behind Kirk.

"He's in denial." Claus went and filled another mug. "Truth is he doesn't have anywhere to go at this point so he won't leave Luke's Academy." Claus chugged a gulp of the beer and then grabbed his belt from the table, clipping it on, his lightsaber banging against his leg as he did so. Claus then pulled on his Jedi robe and turned to the others in the bar, "Well? Let's go, we're going to beat him to the Academy." Claus strode out followed by fifty mixed races and genders of aliens in Jedi robes etched with the silver lightsaber symbol into their backs.

Zekk stood up and kicked the front most guard and tried to move but realized that the hand holding him back felt flatter than the Yuuzhan Vong grip and wasn't aggressive.

"Peace, Young Jedi." A voice said. Zekk looked into the dark purple eyes of a creature with webbed hands and the blue body of a faun. Zekk in his surprise lowered his guard and the webbed hand dropped from his shoulder.

"Thank the gods you were in the first cell." the speaker said. "We did not know exactly where to find the Jedi prisoners. Are you the only ones?"

Zekk's shock wore off long enough for him to respond, "I don't know. We haven't seen any of the other prisoners."

"Ah, I see." The speaker of the group of strange creatures said with a nod. He gestured to the other creatures. "Ak no ban, iska don." His smooth language flowed clearly and without and roughness and was gentle even. It was low and rich, almost a bass level tone.

"Yakkar!" The others replied and ran down the hallway and started opening the other doors. Zekk stared at the creature before him. He had never seen any creature in all his years in the galaxy like this one. The creature turned to face Zekk and Tenel Ka once more and tossed them their lightsabers. Tenel Ka caught hers and Zekk his.

"What planet are you from?" Zekk asked. The creature inclined his head slightly to the left, a gesture of acknowledgement to someone when they spoke.

"We are from the planet Sytorn and we are called Sytars. Our home is an aquatic planet on one the edge of this galaxy." He paused, "My name is Synthor. We are allies of the Jedi and wish to gain your help in defeating the Yuuzhan Vong. But in return you must do as I tell you right now."

Zekk shrugged his acceptance, "It's better than staying here."

Tenel Ka nodded. "I will accept as well."

"Good." Synthor said and then moved over to Zekk. "Hold still, this will take a moment." He placed his webbed hand on Zekk's forehead and Zekk shivered and tried to hold his body still. After a minute, Synthor removed his hand from Zekk's forehead and went over to Tenel Ka and repeated the gesture.

"Thank you, I promise we shall let you return to your home planet as soon as we have figured out how best to gather the Jedi' s alliance with us."

Zekk's mind felt funny and he could not sense Tenel Ka's presence beside him. He had the bad feeling that he would not be going back to Yavin 4 any time soon.

As they made their way out of the prison block of the Yuuzhan Vong base they were met by a large amount of warriors. The Sytars opened fire with their own weapons, small blasters that shot purple and yellow lasers that pierced through the Yuuzhan Vong armor with the first shot and struck their vital parts.

"What are those things?" Zekk asked Synthor as he saw the Yuuzhan Vong warriors fall before them without much of a fight.

"Vital Seeker Lasers. Our planet designed a program for medical purposes to find vital organs based on heat signatures. We just converted them into blaster guns after studying blasters from other planets."

Zekk's jaw nearly dropped. These Sytars were more than just a match for the Yuuzhan Vong and they weren't even a fighting based race. It was almost scary how accurately they had studied warfare in such a short amount of time. They really did want to eliminate the Yuuzhan Vong if they were inventing weapons just to achieve that goal. Zekk wondered if they were even truly a peaceful race. If Zekk were honest he'd say he didn't believe for a moment that a creature who had coolly gunned down a group of warriors, even the Yuuzhan Vong, who were as brutal as they come, without remorse could possibly be in any situation peaceful. That was something he adamantly did not believe and would never believe. Zekk knew a killer when he saw one because he'd lived among killers for the majority of his life. First he Lost Ones, then the Second Imperium, and most of all he lived with the most cruel of all killers, himself.

"It all comes down to anatomy. Every creature built naturally has a lifespan to live and cessation point." All the Sytars bowed to the Yuuzhan Vong, their hands in a praying position, their heads inclined to the right.

"We shall go now and leave these creatures to the gods." Synthor continued on ahead, with some of his Sytar soldiers. Behind them were other prisoners the Sytars had managed to free. Zekk couldn't tell whether they were Jedi or not because for some reason his Jedi senses weren't feeling anything, in fact they just didn't feel at all.

Even though the Sytars weren't like the Yuuzhan Vong in their brutality, Zekk couldn't help but notice how similar the creatures were. Both were polytheistic and believed in natural things. Only the Sytars mixed nature with science. This didn't change that fact that Zekk had a nauseating feeling about these creatures, it only increased his misgivings. Even if they were there to help, the way they went about exterminating the Yuuzhan Vong reminded Zekk of the cold precision of the Dark Jedi during the first and second Empire.

Zekk glanced over at Tenel Ka who was not making any outward indication that she shared Zekk's distrust. There wasn't any way he could ask her either, the Sytars were right in front of him. Well, Zekk thought, I guess I'll just have to deal with it until I find out what these blackguards are really about.

And whether or not I have wipe them out too, he added as an afterthought. At this point, he didn't have the space to be merciful. If that meant he had to betray the trust of his friends that he was done with the dark side, then he would resort to it. Even if Jaina would never forgive him for being cruel, because this was as much for her sake as anyone else's. The Sytars were a good ally now, but they were going to be bad news later. That much, Zekk knew.

Jaina, Lowie, and an unconscious Jacen flew back to Yavin 4 in sober silence. There was nothing that could have consoled the trio. Not only did they have no idea where their friends were, but as of about an hour ago, they'd lost force contact, and force presence with Tenel Ka and Zekk. Jaina dreaded having to tell Jacen that Tenel Ka was dead. There was nothing more terrifying to her than thinking about her twin's reaction. Especially since Jacen had been more prone to anger and brash actions since the Yuuzhan Vong war had begun. It seemed like the only thing holding both herself and Jacen together were their friends and family and the loss of one of those rocks behind them was a blow they were sure not to overcome very easily.

Lowie was steering the ship while Jaina sat in the co-pilot's seat. Lando had lent them a ship since their ship was badly damaged during the attack on Cloud City. "It's the least I can do. I'll contact Luke when I have the ship fixed. Not to worry." He gave them one of his charismatic smiles. But none of them felt much like smiling back.

Lando thanked them for helping out and since he felt there was nothing else to say that could erase the obvious grief they were going through, he sent them back to Yavin 4 on the ship he had lent them.

Lowie growled a low message to Jaina and she shrugged, "I don't know, Lowie, he's been pretty badly injured." Jaina glanced over towards the room where she'd put Jacen. She wasn't sure if his injuries were the real reason he'd passed out. It could have well been shock. Or both.

Lowie barked a few times and flipped a switch, "If you want to. I don't really feel like eating right now." She nodded for him to go, "I'll watch the ship. You go on."

Lowie growled his understanding and made his way back to the small compartment where the rations were stored. Jaina felt sick. Just when she'd thought she was making some progress getting through to Zekk, who had been trying his best to shut the world out, even though it had been clear to Jaina and the rest of the galaxy that Zekk wasn't a Sith anymore. Even if he had been that way in the past, he'd held back, and that was what counted.

Now she'd never be able to understand him or even tell him that she didn't care what he'd been in the past. She'd told him that many times but he needed to hear it again because he was blind to the fact that someone might actually think he's worth being around. Jaina wasn't sure how she knew that Zekk was ashamed and thought he was worthless as a Jedi because of his anger and desire to destroy, but she could just tell he felt that. It was a feeling only she knew he had harbored for a long time, maybe even before the Second Imperium took him in. Zekk had to have felt inferior and that was the tool Brakiss had used to get inside Zekk's head to control him.

To say the least, Jaina blamed herself for not seeing that happening. Zekk didn't deserve the anguish caused by regret or to be thought of as worthless. Because he wasn't worthless. Jaina never thought that, not once. As long as they'd been friends Jaina had found the wild boy from the lower levels of the city to be even more adventure prone and fun loving than herself or Jacen had ever been, and that was saying something. Zekk had a knack for getting into trouble and being loyal. He knew had to have a good time.

But Zekk had changed. He was more serious and sometimes grim. Jaina's concern was put aside because of the war but that didn't mean she hadn't paid attention to all the opinions Zekk voiced about how to handle the Yuuzhan Vong. He was cold sometimes and often just didn't make jokes like he used to.

Jacen was the same. He wasn't the same. Jacen had stopped exploring animals and researching them. His love of all living things didn't extend to the Vong and that was made him research how to destroy.

Everyone around her had changed. She knew that it was natural for people to change, but the kinds of changes she'd seen in her brothers, in Zekk, and even in herself. She'd seen that she no longer wanted to have any down time because it allowed herself time to think about things she knew she shouldn't. Like the fact that she'd seen the distant looks in Anakin's eyes of late, or the angry glares Zekk kept throwing at the Yuuzhan Vong whenever they battled. He hadn't talked to her much either. Occasionally they'd exchange words about the mission but that was it.

Jaina's mind hurt from thinking and she rubbed her temples hoping to relieve some of the pain. It didn't really help.

Her cheek suddenly felt cold and she turned to see Lowie was pressing a cold canteen at her. She took it.

"Thanks, Lowie." She gave him a smile, even though it was hardly a real one. He barked what was his way of saying "You're welcome."

Lowie gave a low moan and Jaina nodded.

"I know, Lowie, I miss them too." She opened her canteen and took a drink. It chilled her to the bone.

Jaina leaned over and looked out of the front viewport.

"This can't be right." She carefully scanned the scenery below. The trees were smoking and some were on fire. Across the jungle were large craters where trees once stood. The edges of the docking bay were singed and burn holes were visible in the outside walls of the temple and the Academy itself.

"Are you sure this is the right coordinates, Lowie?" Jaina asked. Lowie growled an affirmative although Jaina already knew with grim conviction that this was Yavin 4 and that it had been attacked. But it didn't look like a Yuuzhan Vong attack.

And that was what worried Jaina the most.

Luke Skywalker met them at the docking bay.

"Jaina! Lowie! Thank the force you're here. We need your help." He ran over to her as she and

"Uncle Luke, what happened here?" Jaina asked, "It wasn't the Yuuzhan Vong. So what happened?"

Luke nodded, "You're right, it wasn't the Yuuzhan Vong. It was the Peace Brigade."

"Peace Brigade?" She frowned. They were known for violent actions against the Jedi but she had no idea that they knew there were Jedi on Yavin 4. There had to be something more to it. That much Jaina was sure of. Everything else was in shades of gray.

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to explain later. There are damages to be repaired. They only left thirty minutes before you messaged you were going to return. We have to be prepared in case they come back. Can you stand guard?" He glanced around. "Where's Jacen?"

"Unconscious." Jaina replied flatly. The strain in her voice was evident and her Uncle gave her an understanding mental nudge in the force. She'd take care of her brother first, Luke understood that.

Lowie and Jaina carried Jacen to the med-center and he was put in a bacta tank. Jaina then went with Lowie to patrol the Academy for enemies. It seemed like the war was never going to be with them, even if the force was.

Luke sat in his office, his eyes tightly shut in concentration. He ground his teeth, a habit he'd tried to get rid of by meditating, but of late he'd been unable to do so.

There was something about the attack that seemed all too convenient, too planned. The Peace Brigade would not stage an open attack on a Jedi oriented place unless they knew exactly what the layout was there. Or if they hoped to kidnap some students. The thought disturbed the grand master Jedi.

There was one thing, or rather a person his thoughts kept coming back to, no matter how hard he tried avoiding the conclusion, Luke knew had had to confront it. That was the responsibility he had as the protector of the Academy. He opened his eyes and sighed.

The only person who was connected to the Peace Brigade who knew about the Academy from the inside was James.


	16. Promises Made to be Broken

Chapter 16

**Promises Made to be Broken**

James couldn't tell which was worse, the fact that Claus would not stop talking, no not even talking, boasting about what he'd done to the Peace Brigade members he'd captured or the fact that Tahiri had suddenly decided to be mad at him for some reason. That really wasn't the reason, but as soon as they had arrived on Yavin 4, she'd ignored him and gone off somewhere in the jungle, and Kirk, wanting to keep James close in case Claus decided he wanted to interrogate James further about his past, as Kirk said Claus was well known for doing.

Claus was something of an anomaly as a Jedi He had somehow bypassed all the regulations that Jedi typically followed: including following the rules of the places they lived in unless it threatened the justice of the people. The Peace Brigade had on many accounts proven that they were not to be trusted on matters of morality because they were trading Jedi to get back other prisoners from the Yuuzhan Vong but the way that Claus handled the situation was just as bad. He was to put it simply, a hypocrite.

It was only a few moments after they had landed that Luke Skywalker had run out to call them all in for a meeting and that was when Tahiri had found it impossible to stick around. She went off into the jungle without a word to anyone, and before James could catch up with her, Luke had called him back.

It did not take James long to notice the shape the Academy and jungle was in when he returned to Yavin 4 on the _Wild Fox _with Tahiri and Kirk . The tops of the trees were burned and had no leaves left, there were burn marks all of the outside walls of the Academy and small fires were being exstinguished by JedI students and teachers.

It was just a feeling he had, but James' gut feeling told him he should be careful about what he said to anyone. But he wasn't sure why, there was no way that this catastrope or whatever had happened here, was his fault. Still he had his doubts about his own conviction, which wasn't good because he rarely had doubts, he was a normally overly confident person by nature.

Luke's voice made him shiver as he said, "James, I need to talk to you and Kirk. Alone."

Once inside the office and out of earshot of Claus and his Silver Blade Squad, Luke began speaking in serious and sober tone, "What I have to say here must stay here. I'll begin by stating the obvious. The Academy was attacked while you were on your mission. I am actually pleased you came back early because I was about to recall the mission all together."

"Recall it? Why?" Kirk frowned.

"James, I trust you, but I want you to be honest with me." Luke turned to James, Luke's expression pained. Luke didn't seem happy with what he was going to say to James, so he braced himself.

"Did you know that the Peace Brigade was responsible for the attack today?"

James' face immediately contorted with frustration, "What? You think I told them to come here? Are you even sure it was them?"

Luke nodded, "Quite sure. They practically were screaming that they were Peace Brigade and that we'd better surrender." His expression became fierce, "This is not a light attack, they came last night and attacked early into the morning. The only thing that made them leave was the fact that they picked up on Claus' radar signal."

Kirk laughed in the amusement at the irony of their savior, "So his violence finally does come to something." Kirk seethed inwardly. Even if Claus had saved them, it didn't make Kirk happy that the only thing standing between the Academy's safety and its destruction was Claus Nero's Silver Blade Squad. Nothing would make Kirk happier than to wash his hands of his old comrade and fellow Jedi Academy graduate.

"The truth, James." Luke insisted.

"You don't believe me, do you?" His tone was accusing and disgusted at Luke's insistence on his repetition of his comment. "I told you I had nothing to do with this. So if you have a problem with my answer, you can just shove it up your Jedi-"

"James!" Kirk shot the young man a sharp warning with Kirk's dark green eyes. James smirked.

"You both deserve it. Just because you both have the force you think you can accuse anyone of lying and think you have the right to because the force tells you to." James let out a hollow laugh, "Let me tell you something, the attack wasn't my fault but I commend the one responsible because it deflated your heads that have been floating on Cloud City since the beginning of this cursed Academy." He nodded, "Yes, cursed. You want to know why you can't catch a break? It's because you're here." He glared at Luke. "It's your fault because you don't bother to tell your students that everyone wants you dead. That includes Claus. The sooner the bounty hunters have a knife in your stinking back, the sooner we can all have peace of mind. That includes the Yuuzhan Vong." He got up without waiting for a response and headed to the door, "And me." He added and slammed the door behind him.

Luke's face became sullen and strained as the slammed door sent shivers down his spine. James was a very honest person, Luke admitted to himself. He had asked James for the truth and Luke had gotten it. James had spoken what he'd been thinking and as far as Luke could tell in the force, James had not lied. Especially about the last part. The thought of James wanting him assassinated worried Luke. Not for the obvious reason, but because the idea had probably been planted in James' head by the Peace Brigade.

"I can't believe he actually said those things." Kirk shook his head in disbelief. He thought James was pretty cold towards Jedi but James' level of hatred was deeper than Kirk had suspected.

"Even though they were truthful?" Luke's expression was wistful and full of thought. Kirk stared incredulously at his teacher.

"Are you sure you're not more worried about you being killed?"

"By James or the Peace Brigade?" Luke closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"By anyone."

Luke reopened his eyes and returned his eyes to Kirk. He had become very strong in the past months, different from the eighteen year old boy who had left the Academy graduation in a hurry to be away from the world that had hurt him. Luke felt truly old seeing his student now a fully fledged master. Kirk had taken on a few students of his own, or so Luke had heard. He had formed a small school for a brief time, teaching for no more than a few months at a time then moving on to the next planet. Then for a long time Luke had heard nothing from his student.

What was most surprising was how collected Kirk seemed. Luke was even sure Kirk would have settled down by now with the amount of progress he'd made.

"Master Skywalker?" Kirk's words probed Luke's thoughts and he finally broke his reverie.

"Now when was the last time I'd heard you call me that, hmmm?" Luke's lips curled into an amused smile. Kirk returned the smile.

"Possibly a decade, maybe longer."

"For the longest time you called me Vader incarnate." Luke raised an eyebrow.

"That was only because you made me scrub all the floors in the temple." Kirk retorted.

"You decided it was a good idea to use the lightsaber in my office to cut the freezer in half to get some ice cream." Luke sighed. He couldn't believe they were rehashing this incident. It had happened when Kirk was eleven.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. So what's it matter now?"

Luke smiled, letting his blue eyes soften. "Indeed, what does the foolish past have to offer the future we have now?"

"You'll be glad to know that two students took up your legacy." Luke chuckled. Kirk looked interested and grinned.

"Oh really, who?"

Luke indicated with his head towards the direction of the jungle. "You met the first one."

Kirk's eyes lit up. "Sounds like a trouble maker. But she's a good girl."

"She's the brightest student I've had in years." Luke's praise surprised Kirk. Luke didn't like to single out favorites. Realization of what Luke's statement meant dawned on Kirk. His face was filled with extreme sadness.

"Her friend, the one I didn't rescue in time, he was the second one." Kirk knew it from the look on his Master's face.

Kirk swore loudly, "Kicking rodian shit! How could this have happened a second time?" His face contorted and he leaned against the wall to steady himself.

"I'm sorry, Master, I've got to go." He went to the door and opened it, only pausing to hear Luke's words before closing it behind him.

"May the force be with you, Kirk." Luke said, as though saying it as a consolation.

"Yeah." Kirk said as he got outside. "Whenever that happens the world will boil over."

One thing was for sure, Kirk was not going to let himself become seemingly obsolete like Luke Skywalker was. Although he respected Luke, for more reasons than one, Kirk knew Luke had lost his grip and that it had been slipping for a long time now. It was no longer up to the heroes of the Rebel Alliance to save the world from the Yuuzhan Vong. Kirk was sure that Luke knew this as well and that was why he hadn't done anything.

But it was Luke's inactivity that had pissed everyone off and made Luke look like the puppeteer in an obscure show called "war." Luke was the high ranked general who watched from afar while his underlings did his work. Kirk had to kick the students up a notch. Even if that meant bringing non-Jedi into the picture.

Kirk bumped into Tahiri on his way down the hall. "Tahiri, oh, I was just looking for James, have any idea where he's gotten off to?"

"Actually, I'm not sure." She furrowed her brow, "I was just wandering around the jungle and I went to find him but he wasn't in his room but his door was open."

"Open?" Kirk's eyes narrowed in his most stern frown yet. Kirk hated doing either of those things because it made him look like a stern old man.

"Yeah, wide open, like he ran out for a moment and was going to come back."

"Burning Hoth Alive!!" Kirk yelled and ran down the hall to James' room, and looked at the door. It was cleaning opened like nothing had happened. Which meant it had to have been picked by a JedI who left no trail. Not only that, they left in a hurry.

"Tahiri, did you see anyone around the door when you came out?"

"To Master Skywalker's office?" She thought for a moment, "Yeah, Claus was." She gazed curiously at Kirk as he leaned against the wall, scratching his head and messing up his hair as he concentrated.

"We have to go talk to Master Skywalker." He started off at a fast walk with Tahiri close behind him.

"Why?" She ran to keep up with Kirk's long stride. "What's going on?"

"James has been kidnapped."

"What?" Tahiri's eyes went wide, "Why would he be kidnapped?"

"Because Claus overheard our conversation about him being in the Peace Brigade and the Peace Brigade is number one on Claus' hit list." Kirk let loose another series of swear words and barged into Luke's office.

"Kirk? What-?" Luke looked from Tahiri to Kirk.

"Luke, I need to borrow a ship. Now." Kirk stated without explaining. Sensing his old student's tension, Luke straightened.

"What's going on, Kirk?"

"James has been kidnapped by Claus. We were overheard. Someone should have been watching Claus! He's gone and taken James!"

"Calm down, Kirk. Aren't you jumping to conclusions?"

"Aren't you being a little overly trusting?" Kirk glared at his master, not waiting for an answer. "James was right. You've grown soft and comfortable. Not even the war is making you jump into action." Kirk started out of the office, "I'm going after Claus. I know him well enough to guess that he's up to no good." Kirk slammed the door and Luke sighed.

"Everyone seems to be slamming my door a lot." He laughed a little. Tahiri looked curiously at her teacher. He did seem to be too lax about all the recent events, so many of his students were kidnapped by the Yuuzhan Vong and a guest who was staying was just abducted. Or maybe he was simply out of ideas for a solution. He wasn't omniscient after all. It was easy to forget that when you were talking to the Grand Master Jedi.

"Master Skywalker?" She came around to his desk and stood there, firmly planting her feet on the stones. They felt nice under her toes.

"Yes, Tahiri?" He sensed her anticipation and nodded, "You may go with Master Dekim to retrieve James."

Tahiri shook her head. Luke looked surprised, he'd sensed wrongly about what she wanted? Maybe he really was getting old. "No, I was going to ask something else." She said.

Tahiri made her way back to her room. She had managed to ask Master Skywalker permission to visit the place she'd been longing to go back to for so long. But he'd told her she would have to wait at least a month before going there. Maybe three. Simply because Luke had a lot on his plate to deal with and he wanted her to settle down and make a rational decision.

Going back Tatooine was not going to be easy.

After all she had a family here, her adoptive parents Tionne and Kam Solusar were loving and the best parents a person could ask for, but there was a gap they'd never be able to fill and questions that they wouldn't be able to answer for her. Even Master Skywalker couldn't answer all the questions that kept appearing in Tahiri's mind.

In forefront was the fact that James had been a prime suspect for the attack recently staged on Yavin 4 and its Jedi Academy. She had been sure that James would never let the Peace Brigade in on the inner secrets of the Jedi, no matter how much James hated the Jedi and what they did, he'd never sell them out.

She'd seen the guilty look on his face when they'd been on Coruscant and she'd mentioned the fact that the Peace Brigade sold out the Jedi, he was ashamed, that much was evident. So why did he go and sell them out now?

She couldn't believe it, but that was the only way the Peace Brigade could know there was a Jedi Academy on Yavin 4 in the first place. In a way he had promised he'd never do anything of that sort by saying "Yeah, but I'd never do anything like that." He was honest about it, she hadn't sensed any lies. It was hard to believe someone who obviously felt so badly about what his "family" had done was going to become a hypocrite when the first opportunity presented itself.

Moreover it reminded her of Anakin's empty promise to her when he told her that was leaving Yavin 4 to join the in fighting Yuuzhan Vong war with his family.

_Anakin had stood on the docking bay, his duffle bag in hand, boarding the ramp when Tahiri up to him, blocking his way. She folded her arms across her chest. He'd told her he was leaving but Tahiri was too stubborn to let him leave without at least getting an explanation._

"_So you're leaving?" She had asked him incredulously, "Just like that? Nothing to say, no one's opinion to ask?"_

"_Yeah, until this war gets resolved I don't think I can just stay here doing nothing."_

"_What about being here and staying best friends?"_

_He had raised an eyebrow at her when she said that, "You don't think we'll stay best friends if I leave?"_

"_You'd stay if we were." She retorted._

"_Come on, Tahiri, don't do this." _

"_Do what? You want me to just say 'it's okay, come back soon'? It doesn't work that way, Anakin Solo. You don't just up and leave your best friend behind, I bet you even wanted to slip off without a word to anyone." She had given him a cold look and upon seeing his hurt expression softened, "Anakin, I'm sorry." _

"_It's okay, I deserved that."_

"_No you didn't." _

"_Yes, I did." He sighed, "I'm not a kid anymore, Tahiri. I can take the truth."_

"_What about me? You still think I'm a kid, right? That's why you won't take me with you."_

_Anakin rubbed the back of his head, making his hair seem even more unruly than it already was. "Oh, boy." He hoped he'd get a good opportunity to explain his comment when he came back but now was not the time. _

"_What?"_

_He shook his head, "Nothing. Look, Tahiri, I promise you I'll come back. Even before the war's over, I'll come visit." _

"_You know I get to kick the bantha dung out of you if you don't keep the promise, right?"_

_He smiled and nodded, placing a hand on her hand and ruffling her hair. Then he boarded the ramp and was gone. _

He'd promised to come back and explain a lot of things to her and he didn't. He didn't come back, he didn't get to explain anything because he took off and was killed. If that wasn't enough, Anakin left her feeling like a kid for yelling at him when Anakin clearly knew what he was doing. He'd gone to do what he could for the galaxy and she'd just made it hard for Anakin to leave by being stubborn.

I'm the one who's the kid, Tahiri thought to herself. Because I don't understand anything.

Jacen planted a new tree where a crater now lay. It had once been the spot of a Massassi tree but the Peace Brigade had destroyed it. It broke Jacen's heart to have replant a tree that wasn't like its predecessor, but at least he was doing something.

He'd turned down the opportunity to go with his sister to look for James. He didn't feel like flying again. Jacen also didn't want to leave the feel the outdoors. It relaxed him and made him feel alive even though he clearly was feeling the most dead he'd felt in a long time.

Now he clearly understood what Tahiri had been going through all this time. Just thinking about anything he'd done at the Academy in the past was painful, so he focused on his task of planting. His Uncle had suggested he come in to eat earlier but Jacen stayed out long after dark, planting trees where the craters were.

After finishing, he lay back on the ground, his hands behind his head, looking up at the stars. He wished the night would go on. The little dots formed shapes that he could trace all night long and no one would tell him what he had to see. No one had to tell him he had to move on to look at something else.

He heard footsteps and turned his head slightly to see the small form of Tahiri Veila making her way over to him.

"Mind if I join you?"

He shook his head. "Go ahead."

She lay down and looked up at the sky. The two of them didn't say anything. Though between the two of them was an understanding of loss, that no where in the stars above them was an answer to their search but it was enough to just stare into the endless galaxy wondering if there was another dimension or ring where their other selves were happier and living in galaxy free of the Yuuzhan Vong.

"Miss him?" Jacen asked.

Tahiri nodded. "I don't think anyone here understands what it's like to lose your best friend."

"You don't have to look that far." Jacen replied in a pained voice, it was almost cracking even though he was trying to make a joke. Tahiri couldn't believe how broken Jacen seemed. She only knew a little about him from what Anakin had told her, but he didn't seem like the type to be so grief ridden that he wasn't able to complete a joke.

"She was my best friend since I came to the Academy for the first time. All I wanted was to come up with a joke that she'd finally laugh at."

"She didn't laugh at your jokes?" Tahiri asked. For some reason that seemed hard to believe. Even if someone's jokes weren't funny, most people laughed to have a good time.

"She didn't laugh period."

Tahiri smiled to herself. But told Jacen, "It's a good goal."

"Thanks." He watched as a shooting star flew over the heads millions upon millions of miles away in the dark sky. But I can't ever accomplish it now.

"I wanted to prove to Anakin I wasn't a kid. I know he always thought I was."

Jacen raised an eyebrow, "I don't think so."

Tahiri chuckled, "You don't have to lie to me, Jacen. I know Anakin pretty well."

"Obviously not enough."

"Does Anakin usually break promises?"

"What?" The question brought Jacen to sitting position. Tahiri kept her eyes on the sky as she lay on her back. "Well, no, not usually."

"Then you don't know him as well as I do." She felt rain drops on her face and was glad because her own eyes had started to water.


	17. Sealing Fate

Chapter 17

**Sealing Fate**

Anakin strode along the outskirts of the Sytar camp on Tatooine. After rescuing the captives, the Sytars had immediately returned to their camp in order to recover. During that time Anakin spent a month in the Sytar version of bacta, only it smelled faintly of seawater.

Despite his healthy state, Anakin hardly felt recovered. He couldn't stay near the Sytars for very long and got chills whenever Synthor came near Anakin or spoke to him. He was completely aware of his actions and that he could have killed Synthor. What bothered him the most was that the only thing that had stopped him from strangling the Sytar with the force was the wound on Anakin's hand. The wound he'd gotten from punching the mirror.

No matter how many times he tried to avoid the similarities between himself and his grandfather, Anakin couldn't run from the fact that Anakin Skywalker had also coldly and often angrily killed people. There was no telling if Anakin Solo would do the same. So Anakin hid from everyone. Inwardly he felt cowardly but it was the only option he had left. Anything could set him off. Anakin felt like a ticking time bomb, so when he went off, the only person he wanted to hurt was himself. He hid himself from everyone and anyone.

Everyone, that is, except for Zekk. The long haired teen couldn't not find where Anakin had run off to every time Anakin disappeared.

Finally after a week of trying to keep away from the older JedI, Anakin decided to walk on the outskirts of the camp and sit down on a rock. Zekk came to find him.

"You've done a pretty good job of avoiding me, Anakin." He said, coming to sit down on the rock next to Anakin's. The younger Jedi raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you have to follow me?"

"Usually when someone avoids everyone it means they want to talk about something important. And with all these Sytars around, there aren't too many good listeners out there." Zekk said, his face kind and understanding as he clasped his hands on his knees, "What's on your mind?"

"You wouldn't understand." He muttered. Anakin turned away and Zekk arched an eyebrow.

"You think I wouldn't understand, but I do. I've had a run in with the dark side, too, Anakin."

"Yeah? Did you almost strangle someone to death?"

Zekk smiled wryly, "Nope." He shook his head, "But I cut someone in half with my lightsaber and killed plenty of other people."

Anakin's stunned expression turned to sympathy, "Did you ever tell Jaina that?"

Zekk sighed, "No." He looked up at the twin suns above their heads. "I get the feeling she'd probably never look at me the same way if I did." He glanced over at Anakin, "You feel the same, right?"

Anakin nodded. "At least being evil isn't written in your DNA."

"It's not written in yours either." Zekk countered. "Look, Anakin. You might have screwed up a little before but your hands aren't stained with blood." Zekk looked at his own palms. "I've got a lot of things to atone for."

Anakin smiled, "I've never done anything right. Jaina and Jacen have it easy because they've got different names from their grandfather. I'm the living memory of a person that killed off all the Jedi in the galaxy without a second thought. I'm the reason that my parents can't get a day's rest, because they're worried I'll end up like my grandfather!" He stood up and paced. Zekk watched Anakin for a few minutes then got up and lay on the sand, staring up at the sky.

"Lie down over here." He said. Anakin stared at Zekk with suspicion. "Come on, Anakin. I want to show you something."

Anakin did as he was bidden and looked over to where Zekk was pointing. The two twin suns were together, but there was one spot where they crossed over.

"See that? There are two suns but sometimes there's a spot where you can't tell which one is more powerful."

Anakin sighed, "Zekk, I know where you're going with this. I've already seen in the cave on Dagobah that there are two forces fighting within me and it isn't clear which one will win out."

"So, you still think that?" Zekk turned his head slightly. Anakin shrugged.

"I'm not entirely sure." He rubbed his arms. It was starting to get chilly as was common in the desert at night. They would have to go inside soon.

For the longest time, Anakin had thought he was going to cross over to the dark side, then he'd gotten over it by going to Dagobah. Now the same problem had come up again. There was probably something new that Anakin would see in the cave.

"I think I'll go to Dagobah." Anakin said, sitting up. Zekk sat up and stared at Anakin.

"To Dagobah? You mean that old swamp planet where Yoda lived?"

"Yeah. It's been a while since I've been to the cave there."

"Cave?"

Now it was Anakin's turn to make a face at Zekk. "What? You've never heard about the cave on Dagobah?"

"Nope. Not a thing." Zekk shrugged, "I'd never even heard of the planet until Master Skywalker mentioned it."

Anakin thought for a moment. "You should come with me, Zekk. We've both got some answers to get."

Zekk shifted his weight so he was leaning back on his arms. "You're probably right." He stood up and held out his hand to Anakin, who took it, then Zekk hauled Anakin to his feet.

Tomorrow they would go to Dagobah and find out what was inside the cave. Whatever they brought inside their minds would be what they would see inside. The though frightened Anakin because he already knew what his mind was like.

It didn't take long for Zekk to convince Synthor to let them both go to the isolated planet of Dagobah, the place was probably too ugly for Yuuzhan Vong to invade, Zekk thought. The two young men then borrowed a Sytar ship and got ready to go to Dagobah.

Anakin remembered the feeling he had when he first visited Dagobah. He was older now. Six years ago he was a scared little boy who didn't even have a lightsaber and now Anakin had to worry about facial hair. He even sported a small stubble now because he hadn't shaved in a month because of his self inflicted coma. That was something else that had Anakin on hot coals, the fact that he had tried to kill himself, with his own lightsaber. All of the recent events had occurred because Anakin had lost control and attacked his father.

Now he was going to find out if he should go away from everyone for good. Because if he really was leaning, even slightly, towards the dark side, Anakin was going to leave everyone behind. He couldn't risk hurting them.

"Ready, short stuff?" Zekk asked. Anakin frowned at the 'Short stuff' comment but nodded wordlessly.

"Alright, then let's hit the stars, shall we?" Zekk flicked the switches above his head and soon the ship was in the air and a few minutes later was shooting through space. Zekk continually checked their monitors to make sure there weren't any ships behind them or near them. Synthor's only rule about their trip was that they had to remain unseen. Otherwise they could be captured and the Sytar's base could be found out.

Sometimes Zekk thought Synthor was a tad paranoid. He wondered if the Sytar even intended to fight the Vong because the strange creature was so uptight. Fighting the Vong couldn't be done stiffly, they were trained killers, immune to most kinds of pain.

The small planet of Dagobah loomed in the mirror. Anakin stiffened. Zekk felt his tension through the force and smiled at him. "Hang in there, kid. We're not even there yet." He slapped Anakin's shoulder and flew them into the planet's misty atmosphere.

As they flew lower to the ground, the dark murky swamp came into the front viewport. Zekk could hardly see through the fog and after a few minutes Anakin pointed out the most solid place to land. There weren't many on Dagobah.

Zekk stepped out onto the land, glancing around, immediately his boot sunk into the mud. "I'm definitely not coming here for a party."

Anakin laughed. The first time he had done so since he'd been taken in by the Sytars. "I wouldn't either." He lead the way, using the force to find the cave. Even though Anakin wasn't entirely sure where it was on the planet, he could find it easily because the cave was so strong in the force.

He felt a twinge and stepped over a tree vine and into a thick puddle. Ignoring the fact that his pants were now soaked through to his skin, Anakin trudged on, with Zekk muttering behind him.

"Even the underground of Coruscant isn't this nasty!" Zekk exclaimed. Anakin merely shook his head and kept moving.

Despite his initial bad attitude towards the place, Zekk was intrigued. Dagobah had a certain quality about it, that it was surging with energy, with life. There was so much of it, Zekk couldn't even pin point where Anakin was, even though he saw the younger Jedi in front of him.

"We're here." Anakin said, stopping in front of a dark entrance with vines, roots, and critters crawling all over it. Zekk made another face.

"You know, this place feels really…"

"Energy filled? It's filled with the force." Anakin replied, running his hand over the side of the entrance. Then he bit his lip. Zekk felt Anakin's fear.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I can go in there."

Zekk wasn't about to let Anakin back down. Not after dragging Zekk here to look inside the cave himself.

"You're going in, Anakin. That's why you're here. Don't worry. All you'll find in there is a bunch of lizards." He chuckled.

Anakin shook his head. "All I'll find is what I bring inside. This cave shows you what you are in the eyes of the force." He shivered. Zekk pushed him aside.

"I'll go in first then." He handed Anakin his belt and lightsaber. "What I bring in, huh?" He stepped inside the cave and kept going until he saw someone in the shadows. He reached for his lightsaber then realized he'd left it with Anakin.

"Who's there!" Zekk narrowed his eyes and glared as the person stepped out of the darkness. It was Jaina.

"Jaina?" Zekk looked at the person in front of him. Jaina hadn't come into the cave with him, but here she was, in front of him. She moved quickly through the cave then her expression became pained. She ignited her lightsaber and charged at Zekk. He leapt aside.

"Wait, Jaina, what are you doing?" He asked as she took another slice at his arm. The blade passed right through his arm like it wasn't even there. Zekk looked up at her. She faded into the mist. Zekk felt his insides turn over. He had no idea why Jaina, even a visionary Jaina, would attack him.

Zekk rubbed his head and stepped out of the dark cave to find Anakin pacing again, his head in his hands. He looked up as Zekk approached. Zekk took his belt from Anakin's outstretched hand and sighed.

"You see something?"

"Yeah." Zekk pushed his hair back. "I think I need to think a lot about what's going on in my head."

Anakin nodded then made his way over to the cave's entrance. He took one glance backwards at Zekk then went completely into the darkness.

Once inside, Anakin immediately noticed that the cave felt stifled, like it was pushing in on him. The air was so thick, that Anakin could have sworn someone let loose some kind of toxic gas.

Then he saw another figure in the room. The person was wearing a loose tunic and pants like Anakin's, only he was carrying a lightsaber. A violet lightsaber. He was looking at himself.

The second Anakin moved swiftly, swinging his blade at an unseen enemy. The real Anakin watched the vision change before his eyes. Soon other figures entered the vision, all of them people Anakin knew. Then he saw Sytars, all of them fighting an unseen enemy. Then the second Anakin shouted something inaudible and a flash of light shot through the cave, and the real Anakin couldn't see anything for a while. Then he stared at the vision.

He saw himself on the floor, unmoving.

When Anakin emerged, Zekk came over, handing Anakin his belt back. "So what happened in there. You were inside for a long time."

"I- it's nothing. I didn't see the dark side." Anakin said, his voice shaking. Zekk slapped Anakin on the back.

"Well, that's good isn't it?" He started back towards the direction of the ship. "Come on, let's go back to Tatooine, I'm starving." Zekk strode lightly on ahead while Anakin lingered behind.

Just how much of the vision was true? And if it was true, how long did he have until it came to full fruition?

Anakin felt himself in a cold sweat as he slept that night. He kept having relapses of the vision he had in the cave. Each time, no matter which way he turned, he was there on the ground, unmoving.

Then he slipped into another dream. This time Anakin sat in the Great Massasi temple. The only two people who knew where it was besides Master Ikrit, were Anakin and Tahiri, so it was an ideal place for him to sit and think. He had slipped off, deciding that it was better not to worry Tahiri. It worried him how real it had been, the feeling of wanting to hide from her and at the same time, knowing she'd find out later, even though it was only in his dream that this was happening. He wanted to hide the vision from Tahiri even though he knew that there was no way that he could possibly share it with her now.

He leaned against one of the boulders knocked loose from when he and Tahiri had been there a long time ago.

"Ah, Young Anakin." Master Ikrit said, coming over. "I imagine you're wondering how I found you here."

"Actually," Anakin replied with a smile, "I wasn't. I sensed you coming and you're one of the few who knows about this temple or how to get inside."

"True that." The Master replied with a nod.

"Master, I have something I need to tell you."

The furry Jedi Master inclined his head, indicating that he was listening.

"I had a vision. When I went to Dagobah. It was about an event that happens later on in the Yuuzhan Vong war. It was so real, it was hard to believe I wasn't actually experiencing it."

"I've been to the cave many times myself, Anakin. So I know that whatever happens in that cave is purely of your own creation."

"So I'm creating that future?"

Master Ikrit nodded. "Yes, you are always forming your future. There is never a time when you're not building it. When you step into that cave, it can show you where your future will end up because of what you are doing, have done, or will do."

Anakin drew a long breath and hugged his knees. "I'm scared, Master."

"Scared?" Ikrit's eyes scrutinized Anakin carefully.

"Can I control what I saw?"

Ikrit took a deep breath and closed his eyes, searching through the force. "Master Yoda told me when I came out of the cave that the vision I had of living through many years of strife was not inaccurate, but at the same time it wasn't my own doing."

"Master, my vision had me as the central conflict and solution." Anakin added, his voice nearly cracking with the fear in the back of his mind.

Ikrit's eyes widened with interest and his ears perked, "Ah, now that is intriguing."

"What does it mean?"

"That you can be either one you wish to be. The solution, the conflict or both."

"I don't get a choice? There's no way around the vision?"

"If that vision is something that you build yourself into, then no there is not any way around it." He looked at Anakin, his eyes now hardened, "You are afraid of not being able to control this vision. But the fear you have now may in fact be the cause of the decision to embrace the vision." He softened, "Tell me, did someone die in the vision?"

Anakin shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure."

Master Ikrit didn't take his eyes off his student and repeated the question, "Who died, Anakin?" He searched the force then nodded, his expression sober.

"I see. Then perhaps it is time you embraced whatever fear is lurking in the back of your mind and for you to accept that which may be your future."

"How can I?" Anakin asked. "I don't want that to happen, it can't happen!"

"In time you will come to understand that the cave does not predict your future, but it simply portrays that which your mind already knows is a part of you."

"That means I can change it?" Anakin's energy perked but his Master did not share his joy at the prospect.

"If your mind wants to, yes." He stared at Anakin. "Your mind is hiding itself. So neither of us can know for sure. Not even the cave."

Anakin sat bolt up, his chest throbbing where the poison had been removed. The dream had been so real. The conversation with Master Ikrit was much like the others Anakin had had with the Master. Anakin knew his teacher well enough to envision the answer to a question he would have posed to the Master if Anakin had been at the Academy right now.

Even if he had not really talked to Master Ikrit, he felt like he had his answer. He knew what had to happen. What happened in the cave had to happen.

Otherwise Anakin would always be dogged by the other vision of himself as Darth Vader until it became a reality.


	18. Embracing the Mask

Chapter 18

**Embracing The Mask**

Zekk found himself wandering around a lot more since he and Anakin returned from their trip to Dagobah. He had become the restless one who avoided everyone while Anakin sat in his tent most of the time, silently resolved to lying on his cot.

If Zekk hadn't been wrestling with his own experience in the cave, he would have gone to talk to Anakin. After all Anakin had done a lot for Zekk in taking him to the cave in the first place. It had only served to tell Zekk what he already knew himself.

For the longest time he'd wondered what Jaina had thought of him. Before he'd joined the Second Imperium, Zekk used to lie awake and think of what his friend Jaina was doing. The life she had led was so different from Zekk's, he thought his friends would never see him on the same level. That was what the Second Imperium used to twist Zekk's mind into thinking they were the ones who never noticed that he, Zekk, was force sensitive.

Zekk then thought Jaina must have thought he was dirt, he didn't want to hurt her, but he knew they couldn't be friends. He had to be with the dark side, only they understood what he was and who he could become. Or at least, that's what he'd thought.

It was clear why Jaina was the one with the lightsaber in the cave and not him. Zekk had hurt her so badly by betraying his friend that she was ready to lash out at him. Or maybe that was just what Zekk was afraid of. That Jaina hated him because he'd killed so many people. He hadn't even found the courage to tell her everything about his experience in the Second Imperium. He'd been a dark Jedi, the very thing his friends had been trying to combat.

The very thing that Anakin was shadowed by and almost consumed by. Zekk's heart went out to the younger boy. Anakin had faced only a small amount of what Zekk had but he'd hurt people that were even closer to him. That could only make the guilt worse. It also made telling the people Anakin cared about harder. But the younger Jedi hadn't seen anything in the cave related to the dark side, so Zekk knew Anakin would be fine.

Zekk knew better than anyone what that was like. The fear of being lashed out at. He thought all the time about Jaina suddenly telling him he was a traitor and that he sickened her for the murder he'd committed. How on earth could he possibly tell her? For Jaina's sanity, he couldn't. There was enough going on in her life that adding on the weight of his dark past was just not fair.

Still, the fear was still there. Every moment he put off telling Jaina about his past, Zekk could feel himself growing more and more distant and shut up inside his own mind. Somehow, he had to tell her something. Or at least he had to apologize for the pain he'd caused. Even though she'd forgiven him back then, he still knew he didn't deserve her friendship after that.

There was nothing he deserved more than to be killed like the murderous Yuuzhan Vong who killed like Zekk did… in cold blood. Maybe Anakin was right. Separating himself and finishing his battles on his own was the best choice. Zekk knew he'd have to tell Jaina the truth, then leave before he caused any more damage.

Anakin sat up and went outside. It was dark outside so no one noticed him slip outside of the camp. That was the way Anakin wanted it to be.

Now he had two visions that he had to deal with. The first was the one he'd had when he was delirious and in pain from stabbing himself with his own lightsaber. In the vision Obi-Wan and his grandfather had appeared, telling him he had to embrace his heritage.

At the moment, Anakin wanted anything but that. He just wanted to be a normal child, someone completely oblivious to the force so his name didn't mean a thing. Anakin seethed inwardly at the thought anyone could have had in naming their child after Darth Vader. Even though Anakin Skywalker was a good man, Anakin only knew him as someone who'd lost their humanity long ago. In fact, Darth Vader had given up his humanity because he wanted to kill people. Anakin knew that was the truth.

He carried the name of a person who wanted so badly to be superhuman he was willing to destroy everything he was supposed to protect to achieve his goal.

"Well, Grandpa," Anakin said softly, "You got your wish. You're superhuman and you've given me your name because of it."

Nobody would have remembered Darth Vader if he hadn't become evil. It was the evil that made people notice you. Those who were noticed for good were better off staying hidden because one day someone would try to kill them too.

Anakin fingered his lightsaber, and turned it on. The violet blade flickered in the moonlight. He wondered how many people he had to kill to turn the glowing light crimson.

A voice broke Anakin's reverie.

"Want a duel?" Zekk asked, coming over, as he ignited his own lightsaber. Anakin slowly raised his blade to cross with Zekk's. They clashed and sparks flew. Anakin backed and then struck again, Zekk's blade came up and pushed Anakin's back. Anakin regained his balance then slashed at Zekk's unprotected side, Zekk parried and returned the attack.

Anakin shifted his weight and leapt backwards, landing cleanly on his feet.

"Nice footwork." Zekk complimented without breaking his stride and attacked again. Anakin blocked and flicked Zekk's blade away and cut a hole in the side of Zekk's shirt.

"Thanks." Anakin grinned and renewed his vigor.

Tenel Ka came out to see what the commotion was and saw Zekk and Anakin Solo sparring with their lightsabers. She blinked the sleep from her eyes. _Didn't anyone ever get any sleep around here? _

Anakin felt the sweat gathering on his forehead and took a deep breath before coming down harder on Zekk's defense. The sparks flew around them as neither one relented on their defense or offense.

Zekk gritted his teeth and Anakin took a stance to hold his ground. Then Zekk lost his footing and Anakin took advantage of the opening and force shoved Zekk over and flicked his blade to Zekk's neck, his declaration of victory.

"Okay, you win." Zekk held up his hands in defeat. He flicked his lightsaber off and clipped it to his belt. Anakin reached out a hand and helped Zekk to his feet.

"You're a good fighter. Maybe even better than either of your siblings." Zekk dusted the sand off his pants and shirt.

"I doubt that." Anakin said, clipping his own lightsaber to his belt.

"I'm serious. You had me cornered." He grinned, "I was beat. If you'd attacked again, I would have been finished."

"Probably because I've got more anger than Jacen or Jaina." Anakin said, absentmindedly kicking the sand with his foot. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Tenel Ka on his right.

"That is not true. You are not angry. Zekk would not have fought with you if you were."

"Well, that's not entirely true." Zekk mumbled and Tenel Ka glared at him, then returned her attention to Anakin.

"Anyone who says you are an angry hateful person is a fool." Tenel said, folding her arms across her chest. The warrior girl fixed Anakin with a hard stare. "I do not know you as well as I know Jacen or Jaina, but I do know that you do not simply hate people and get angry at them."

"You weren't there when I threw my dad against a wall, Tenel Ka." Anakin replied tartly, "I appreciate your faith in me, but it's a waste of time."

"I thought you said you didn't see anything in the cave that was related to the dark side?" Zekk asked, staring curiously at Anakin.

"I didn't. But I don't need the cave to tell me I'm more like my grandfather than anyone else in my family."

"Anakin-" Zekk began but Anakin had already started off into the desert to vent off some steam. Zekk started after him but Tenel Ka held Zekk back.

"Anakin needs to be alone. I think more is going on with him than what happened in the cave." Tenel Ka watched Anakin's small form disappear over a dune.

Zekk's face creased with worry, "I just hope it doesn't crush him."

Anakin continued walking until his feet hurt, then he stopped and sat down on a dune, his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. The wind blew his bangs to and from his face.

_I wonder if Uncle Luke ever felt this helpless when he lived here_, Anakin thought. The desert was a friend to those who wanted to wander aimlessly, but to those looking for a distinct path, there was nothing worse.

Anakin felt like a nobody out here. But at the same time, it made him forget who he was. Who his parents were, and what his heritage was. Out here he was free of anything and everything that tied him to the Jedi or the force.

Yet, he couldn't stay out here. When the Sytars went back to help finish the war, Anakin would have to go with them. He was one of their Jedi intermediaries that would negotiate between the Jedi and the Sytar race to formulate a war plan. The whole idea seemed ludicrous. The Sytars alone couldn't help finish the war, not even with the help of the Jedi.

It would take someone who was equally brutal to face the Yuuzhan Vong head on. Anakin shook his head. No, it would take someone just as immune to pain and morality. _Someone like me_, Anakin thought with a sad smile.

He could just let himself become brutal, be that person to lose himself for the war to end. But if he did that, he couldn't ever face his family or friends again. He'd have to go away and then live alone until he died, so that his damage was minimal.

Anakin felt a deep sorrow sweeping over him. He couldn't ever see his friends ever again. Not after becoming a monster. The younger kids at the Academy would regard him as a hero but at the same time vow never to become like him. Fear his name.

His parents would mourn that they'd never be able to see him again, but feel grief because Anakin wasn't able to avoid being like his namesake.

Then there was Tahiri. Tahiri. The one who had never given up on Anakin no matter what he decided to do. She had never doubted the person Anakin was or would become. She was the rock in Anakin's life. The one thing that gave him confidence to make it from day to day.

His loss of humanity would come as a worse blow to her than if he was dead. But she'd have everyone with her. His parents, Kam and Tionne would be there. Tahiri would never be alone, even if he left she would be fine.

Anakin wasn't entirely sure if this was what Obi-Wan and his grandfather meant. But it somehow made sense. Anakin Skywalker had thought whatever cause he was fighting for was worth losing himself to. Worth losing everything that he'd built.

Anakin knew he wouldn't be destroying anything, he would be protecting his family and friends no matter how lost he got along the way. This was what it meant to be named Anakin: to believe in fighting for something even if it made you lose yourself.

The cave had shown more or less that Anakin wouldn't have time to think much about failure to stay to the light side anyway. If the cave was right, Anakin would be gone by the time his actions were clear. By the time his murder was complete, he'd have died.

Unlike his grandfather, Anakin Solo had no intention of sticking around to see the horrified looks on his family's faces when they realized their son and brother wasn't human anymore.

Or the look that Tahiri had when she realized her best friend had finally given up fighting the dark side and decided to lose himself on purpose.

Maybe they'd look on Anakin with pride or praise and some shame, but in the end, they'd be alive to have that choice. The whole galaxy would be in tact to see itself whole in time, to heal, and to move forward.

Anakin smiled. Dying didn't seem so bad. It just meant that he wouldn't be able to feel and once he was gone, he wouldn't have to worry about the force, about light or dark, because when he was gone, there was only the force.

The mask of Darth Vader was Anakin Solo's to wear, but only in life. He wouldn't break his family's hearts any more than he had to. Only until the last minute would Anakin look through those dark slits and see the world in shades of black.

Then he'd be gone. With the world still finding its way to the light. Anakin's voice spoke confidently, "I'll take the mask, Grandpa. It's no one else's to wear but mine."

**_A/N- Stay tuned for the sequel story titled "When it Begins Again." Until then, please review on this chapter and others! Thanks! I need more readers!!  
_**


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